That's dumb
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Ohio
Posts: 420
That's dumb
When I started out with sobriety, I read a lot on here and came across many suggestions from people who had been sober a long time.
Some things I thought were kinda dumb, or I didn't need to do them, or I didn't know how to do them so I ignored them, or thought things weren't for me, etc etc etc. Like making a plan, writing out what you will do when specific triggers come up, meditation, gratitude lists, and more.
After failing a few times, I've realized that these wonderful people here know what they are talking about! They have found the things that work!
So, I'm adding all the things I can to my plans and doing them whether I feel like it or not. I encourage you to do the same.
As my friend, PheonixJ said, "don't drink, drinking is dumb."
Some things I thought were kinda dumb, or I didn't need to do them, or I didn't know how to do them so I ignored them, or thought things weren't for me, etc etc etc. Like making a plan, writing out what you will do when specific triggers come up, meditation, gratitude lists, and more.
After failing a few times, I've realized that these wonderful people here know what they are talking about! They have found the things that work!
So, I'm adding all the things I can to my plans and doing them whether I feel like it or not. I encourage you to do the same.
As my friend, PheonixJ said, "don't drink, drinking is dumb."
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,647
Cooter - classic schadenfraude. Trust the germans to have a word for what you said- watching others more screwed up than us. Or more strictly enjoying the misfortune of others. Even Charlie Brown did that (good grief).
Are you okay, Julia?
Are you okay, Julia?
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,187
Julia you are correct Writing plans and making gratitude lists seemed dumb to me until several failures prompted me to do them on the grounds of "what have I got to lose" and guess wha? when the cravings kicked in I was prepared. I still haven't got round to meditating yet
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: here, now.
Posts: 1,236
Yeah, it seemed dumb to me too! HA!
I remember being really offended by much of the stuff on here. I thought that it should be really simple. Don't drink for a while, then I can drink a little and be fine, because a period of abstinence would have cleared it all up. Ummm. yeah. Then, I finally figured that I might really need out and out sobriety. I knew some sober people and they had this peace about them that I envied. I wouldn't drink around them and then I'd go home after hanging out and get tanked till I passed out at 2 AM. While getting tanked I'd think, they don't need to do this, they aren't doing this, they are just having an evening that's probably happy. WTF. I came here and heard all about being accountable, grateful, having plans, etc, and thought it was ridiculous because it sounded so uptight and self deprecating. That's not peaceful! Finally at some point I figured out that the plans aren't uptight, they are self made guides for rewiring my brain to change my behavior. I'm always an alcoholic, that's in my head. I can wire around it to change the behavior from one of destructive behaviors to constructive behaviors. Really, I have two choices, both of which have lots of different specific manifestations, in two progressively different directions.
I think I also had to figure out that "making a plan" isn't like analyzing a tax code - it's just forging a path of personal accountability that works for me. And there's some basic guidelines that, if they aren't there, mean it probably won't work. Example: mind other people's business, go to a keg party "just to hang out" in early sobriety, etc.
I never would have thought that drinking was dumb. I would have thought that was a dumb thing to say. But it is, it's really dumb. For me.
Great post, glad you're doing good, Julia! I just asked how you were in the A Team thread, then came here and got my answer.
In Gratitude
B
I remember being really offended by much of the stuff on here. I thought that it should be really simple. Don't drink for a while, then I can drink a little and be fine, because a period of abstinence would have cleared it all up. Ummm. yeah. Then, I finally figured that I might really need out and out sobriety. I knew some sober people and they had this peace about them that I envied. I wouldn't drink around them and then I'd go home after hanging out and get tanked till I passed out at 2 AM. While getting tanked I'd think, they don't need to do this, they aren't doing this, they are just having an evening that's probably happy. WTF. I came here and heard all about being accountable, grateful, having plans, etc, and thought it was ridiculous because it sounded so uptight and self deprecating. That's not peaceful! Finally at some point I figured out that the plans aren't uptight, they are self made guides for rewiring my brain to change my behavior. I'm always an alcoholic, that's in my head. I can wire around it to change the behavior from one of destructive behaviors to constructive behaviors. Really, I have two choices, both of which have lots of different specific manifestations, in two progressively different directions.
I think I also had to figure out that "making a plan" isn't like analyzing a tax code - it's just forging a path of personal accountability that works for me. And there's some basic guidelines that, if they aren't there, mean it probably won't work. Example: mind other people's business, go to a keg party "just to hang out" in early sobriety, etc.
I never would have thought that drinking was dumb. I would have thought that was a dumb thing to say. But it is, it's really dumb. For me.
Great post, glad you're doing good, Julia! I just asked how you were in the A Team thread, then came here and got my answer.
In Gratitude
B
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