Grymt

I think I'm beginning to understand one aspect of my addictions.

For some reason, I don't know why and don't think it matters, I have a way of hurting myself in spite of me knowing it is not good.

I've given up tobacco.

I made a mistake that I need to put right.

I do so and am instantly assaulted by a strong urge to have a cigarette.

Wow, without mindful meditation that one might have been impoossible for me to get over. It's gone now but when it happened I broke out in a sweat and started to reach for the cigarettes or rather where they used to be. Phew. I feel empowered now. And hungry.

Dee74

Good for you on giving up the smokes as well Grymt

D

Grymt

Yes, getting back to SR has led to a number of good changes in my life. Much Gratitude. While I was getting by ok I think community for me is important.

catlover1989

Really glad you quit smoking. I went through a period of smoking when I was drinking. Eventually gave it up because I have asthma and it was giving me respiratory problems.

Never look back. It's a filthy habit!

Grymt

yes indeed. My sense of smell is sharpening. The fruit I bought from the considerable saving tastes better. I just needed to kickstart the getting better process. Too long stuck in a comfort zone.

Scruffanie

Good on you Grymt! I am a smoker, I plan to quit once I feeling a little stronger in my sobriety.
Your body will thank you

tonggau

Congratulations on giving up smoking! I gave up about six months ago and oddly enough managed to not go back even when I was drinking together with smokers. Something in me just had decided that it was enough. Don't miss it at all. My sense of smell didn't improve one bit (to my disappointment).

Grymt

Yeah, that was good. Just got back from an AA meeting and am heading to bed.
Cheers.

MsCooterBrown

I was an insatiable smoker. Stayed awake to drink and smoke. Going on year 4 quit. My opinion...one of the toughest addictions there is. So grateful to be on the other side. It is so dumb. I wasn't that worried about cancer (it was a thought that popped in off and on) but I got dental implants. Had to do that due to my smoking...my whole life is a catch 22. Vanity got me off the smokes. Dental implants reject if you smoke. I guess...whatever works...

Congrats on getting off the smokes Grymt!!!!!!

Grymt

'Hunger' or 'I Want' is a big one lurking on the periphery waiting to pounce. I'm not surprised that it's there. It surprises me how apparently much easier it is to deal with when the confusing factor of living an addiction is out of the mix. Like I said, I'm a contrarian and I can live with that. Perhaps one day I'll figure out why but I don't think my recovery is dependent on knowing the answers in an intellectual way.

saoutchik

Good for you Grymt, quitting tobacco is tough early on but gets easier and eventually the cravings cease altogether and unlike alcohol it requires no effort or vigilance to stay stopped after about 6 months. It is getting ever more difficult to smoke and ever more expensive too - getting close to £10 for 20 in the UK (sorry I don't know the A$ equivalent)

I hear that in Aus there are now graphic photos of lung disease on packets of cigarettes, has that made a difference?

Grymt

I don't know. It certainly makes me more aware. Especially the one of a child with a face mask looking at me pleadingly. That one gets to me. I'll probably save about 4.500 au in a year. That's a lot. What a waste.

Atm I'm facing cravings coming and going particularly if I do something. It seems I had a habit of reaching for a smoke in just about any situation.

Grymt

It is nice to not smoke. The times that are difficult are when I'm slightly stressed but with the anapana it passes quickly and if it is very intense I know, have faith, it will pass and lo...it does. Strangely I seem to have gained the control over my diet I was looking for. Control without angst. Everything seemed so much more complicated when smoking.

Grymt

Part of what I'll be doing today is to clean out things that smell of tobacco and throw away ashtrays, any paraphernalia used for smoking. I have no need for them (Grief, feel it, move on).

Grymt

I reached for the tobacco and I think I was lucky they were not there. I was distracted for a moment and before I knew it I was reaching for where I used to keep them while feeling the familiar sensation of the smoke. And this was after doing something very good for myself. It seems to me I get the strongest urges to smoke after doing something positive. iow I am impelled to do soemthing negative when having done something positive and when these urges are strongest it seems important to not have the tobacco anywhere in sight or reach. (In fact if I've given up why keep anything to do with tobacco anywhere around.)

It's a bit like giving up the booze except I'm not as consumed by cravings and withdrawals so I can calmly observe the rise and passing of the cravings. Interesting.

The main lesson for me, apart from maintaining awareness, vigilantly, is to not have the addictive substance or any associated paraphernalia around.