comtnman740

Hey guys,
I have been dealing with my alcoholic father since i reunited with him close to 15 years ago after a 20 year absence. He is no doubt an alcoholic and is drunk almost every time i speak with him. I've been trying to figure out how to deal with this. He knows i've been in the hospital for drinking and knows i'm working on sobriety yet he still calls me drunk. Pisses me off and makes me feel like he's a selfish ****
Would like to hear feedback or experiences from anyone. I've decided that i'm not going to speak with him after noon. I suppose that's how i'm going to tackle this.

Maudcat

Well, Al-Anon has helped me quite a bit with the anger and resentment I feel toward the alcoholic in my life.
As you know on one level, you can't control someone else's behavior. But it hurts and brings in all kinds of emotions when they just don't do the right thing. Hang in there.

thomas11

I have a similar situation and its a tough deal. I used to try really hard to maintain a relationship with him and most of the time it was fine. But ultimately he would do or say something terrible in his drunken state. I've gone minimal contact with entire family as of 6 months ago. Its been great.

HopeandFaith1

I'm thinking he doesn't fully realize what he's doing when he calls you drunk, and sadly might not care too much in this moment in time. I don't know about you, but I remember making lots of damaging phone calls while I was drunk, and not having much control over it after a certain point. Of course I'd be mortified about it the next day.

I'd like to think that your dad might feel embarrassed by his behavior but is too proud and sick to admit it. Can you ever catch him while he's sober, and try to talk to him then? I feel for you, my dad's not a drunk but he's abusive, and just like a drunk has very little awareness or concern for what he does. It is very cool that you are working in your sobriety and I hope you don't let this derail you.

Marissa41

Here's my story. Didn't meet my father until I was 8. Woke up one Saturday morning going to watch cartoons and my grandma says "this is your father"(I was raised by my grandparents since I was 3 months old, my mother left town). No warning. I didn't see him again until I was 12 and I remember every time he was drunk. He lived only a few blocks away, so I would get up early and ride my bike over there and have coffee with him before he had a chance to drink.
I learned he was a very nice, intelligent man but an alcoholic who had no control. We lost touch after awhile. I got married, had a baby, and when she was 4 decided he needed to meet her. Well she never did. He had a heart attack shortly after I contacted him and died in his sleep. I was 27 and he was 45. Life is short. I say if you want a relationship limit it to early mornings and make sure he knows why. Good luck..

Dee74

Have you considered AlAnon comtnman?

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