Sissyfuss

I have posted before about my stepdaughter on FFoA but this time it involves heroin. Both her and her new ABF OD'd and she was found by my 7yr old GD passed out on the BR floor. My 15 yr old GS couldn't wake her up and went up to the BR where he found the BF choking to death. He called 911 and they talked him through CPR where he revived before going to the hospital. She came to and refused treatment but the kids were removed from the house and into a trustworthy neighbors place. Now we are going to court tomorrow to fight for custody of all three kids to their aunt who lives 100 miles away. I'm afraid for my SD's safety because without her children she may just give up. Does anyone know the best procedure in fighting CPS for custody. They've already rejected the father and grandmother and I live alone and work full-time plus I'm not a blood relative. Do I need a lawyer? I've heard horror stories about CPS in their placement of children in foster care and I'm not going to let that happen to my beloved grandchildren. God grant me strength, after 16 years of this nightmare perhaps finally things will turn.

CherryVanilla

I don't have any first hand experience, but I think the goal is that the children remain with family members whenever possible. Though the girl is young, the boy is a teenager and they may take his choice into consideration. Best wishes for a good decision!

zoso77

Sissy, did her children preclude her from overdosing on heroin? Once heroin's got you in her grips, she will never, ever let go with a brutal, long drawn out fight. And more often than not, she wins. So with that in mind, know that whoever is in your stepdaughter's life at the moment is not as important as being under the influence.

As for legal advice, I'm going to defer to members who have experience in this sort of thing. I'm really sorry that this has happened. Be patient; our members will pipe up soon.

Sissyfuss

Thanks for the response,Zoso. I've read about the evils of heroin addiction and had a friend of my niece who became addicted and we watched her life descend into Hell. My daughter has a real strong mothering instinct that I felt was one reason she never descended into Hell herself. But now there is nothing stopping her including me. I enabled when she got hooked on crack and her dealer told me when he was done with her he would add her to his stable of whores. I gave her money so that he couldn't carry out his wishes but it didn't solve anything as has been revealed. She is so lost now that only God can find her and I pray that he does. All my efforts need to be concentrated on my grandchildren. And my own well-being. Hope escapes in these dark days. Forgive me my weaknesses but I have been fighting this battle for so long without any victories.

Ann

She overdosed with the children there, she may overdose with them gone, but what happens to her is not related in any way to the children and they must be kept safe, emotionally and physically, from the kind of thing that just transpired.

My prayers go out for all of you, how heart breaking it is to watch someone we love self-destruct.

God bless the children, may they be kept safe and loved wherever they are placed.

FeelingGreat

sissy, if losing her children isn't enough for her, wouldn't they be better off away from her? They are absorbing her behaviour and chances are they'll go that way themselves.
Who's feeding and looking after them while she's passed out? I hope they end up with their aunt, who if she takes them is a very good woman.
My thoughts are with you. You sound like you're at the end of your rope.

Pebbles128

I have to run out the door but...What state are the children in? Is CPS aware that you or other family are interested in taking the children? You don't NEED a lawyer but it might be better getting one. Google your state & look up: guardianship (although it's too late for that because CPS has custody) CPS & kinship care - look up what that state requires for kinship care. If you/family become licensed foster care providers you will receive better services/$ for the children. You don't have to be licensed but it might be worth it. I really have to run....off to the NICU for my grandchild....Oh make sure there is enough room for the children, childproof home, etc, etc....If you google around you can find more info for your state....Try to work with CPS, it's a pain but it's better than fighting them!

hopeful4

I say this VERY gently.

Please make sure the best interests of the children are put first, no matter where they go. I agree that CPS will likely try to keep them with family if possible.

I hope they get counseling and a very gentle environment that they need.

AnvilheadII

i think i'd rather the children be anywhere but in the situation with two adults od'ing in front of them. i'm sure the 7 yr old thought mommy was dead. and the poor 15 yr old had to be responsible for trying to revive the bf. all because of drugs. those precious babies.......i hope they never have to experience anything like that again in their lives. i can't imagine the damage done............

Pebbles128

Here's a link to helpful info for grandparents & other relatives:

http://gu.org/LinkClick.aspx?filetic...id=157&mid=606

Sissyfuss

Went to the court hearing today and my stepdaughter looks every bit the heroin addict. The judge told her point blank that her concern should be about saving her life and let everything else take care of itself for now. Turns out they both had to be Narcanned back to life Sat nite. The kids are staying with some neighbors until the bio dad can get his house up to code(no furnace). But he though doing better has been on crack for the last ten years and is not the most responsible person. I am so fed up with this collection of fools but I can't abandon the three grandchildren. Trial is set for March 22 but the way the judge is talking, I don't my daughter will be allowed to get the kids back for awhile, maybe years if ever. She still thinks she can do out patient rehab getting the kids back in a few weeks. Her mind is completely trashed from 20 years of assorted drugs. She is 34 and looks 50ish. Thank all for their kindness and concern. Peace be with you.

hopeful4

Sending many hugs!!!

copperpenny

Ahhhh Sissyfuss, I know just how you feel. Bless you and those children. And as someone on SR said, pray for the addict.