Aquafina

I'm in a gap where the terror isnt crushing. I cant drink water.

Some electric colors, A spinning playground equipment on my bed. Its truly hypnotic. Enjoyable.

Your only suffering if you tell someone. This is my Vietnam.

I dont think I'll ever get the pills again. Troubling to get me to take them. They are sugar pills. Exhastion is an understatement. Battlefield.

The intent will lessen as I withdraw. But I honestly miss me.

Anna

I'm not sure what you mean, but it sounds to me like you should call your dr or go to an ER to get some help.

saoutchik

Do you have anyone with you Aquafina?

As Anna suggests it sounds like you, or someone should call a doctor or go to ER

badger257

I strongly agree with the other! Let us know how you are doing?

Aquafina

I was prescribed 15mg of clonazepam yesterday. I haven't taken any for fear of legitimate ideation and unwillingness to stop. Future withdrawls, I've been here before.

I have to drive to pick up my son in 2 hours. I'm scared to even think about that.

Any action, sounds, make it worse. Positive feedback loop.

I have no idea where i going with this.

badger257

I definitely would not drive, nor drive with your son. That isn't safe for either of you, or anyone else on the road. Withdrawal is a serious matter, and there is plenty of help available. Please seek some!

Anna

Please do not drive at all right now, especially with your child. Call your dr or go to the ER and get the help you need.

Aquafina

Thank you.

hope0603

I hope u are ok...

Dee74

I hope you do seek help - it really sounds like you need it?
Get a cab or something - please don't drive.

D

badger257

Let us know how you are? :/

Hevyn

We hope you're getting some help, Aquafina. Please update when you can.

Aquafina

I caved in and took 2 mgs. Such a relief closing my eyes and seeing nearly blackness. Sensitivity issues have lessened and walkin around my room is so much easier. Pounding heart... gone!

Im drinking water.

Forward12

Are you talking about alcohol withdrawal issues? If so that medication would be for so you can detox safely.

SweatyHands

Hey there aquafina, how are you doing today? Keep us updated so we know that you aren't in danger.

thomas11

Glad you got some relief. Wishing you the best.

Aquafina

I'm not in danger. Just trying to take the min amount of the pills and avoiding alcohol. Ive done this so many times... daily,2,3,4,5,9,12 days at a time. I had almost 3yrs clean starting in 2009. Sobriety feels impossible but its so nice to tell someone.

SweatyHands

Good to hear from you. I understand wanting to take the minimum amount of the pills when trying to end addiction, but please think of your safety as well.