cusper

I am having a really hard time right now. My anxiety is through the roof. Quitting this time around has been much harder than I expected. it's just over a couple of months but I still have terrible anxiety. I think the last time I quit I had done nothing but concentrate on being sober for the first 6 months. but now I have all of this responsibility and commitments that it's making me crazy. I have a big art show coming up and all I am doing is working around the clock when all I want to do is just rest. But my anxiety is so rough that I don't sleep well and then I have these fits of rage where I want to put my hand through a wall over absolutely nothing. I have already been to the doctor but all I do is worry about my health. Mind you my whole life I have had health anxiety. I just feel like I have gotten sicker since I quit. I have picked up just about every bug my kindergartener has brought home. I know this sounds terrible but I wish I could just go to rehab so all I have to think about is recovering. This is about the time that I would reach for a drink just to relax. I have the genetic component so there is no choice but to muscle through it. It's just been really really difficult lately.

heartcore

When I am overwhelmed by anxiety & responsibility, I lean on Epsom Salt baths, obsessive reading (a whole evening sometimes), and doing "special stuff" with my dog, like the dog-park.

I also sort of tornado out when I start feeling lots of work anxiety. My best friend (since high school - 34 year friendship) is on her way to visit with her hubby (whom I also love). I took a week off work. I am so not-anxious right now (though excited & anticipatory!). Vacations are important! Work is stressful!

They are coming from the airport now. Just got a text. Yaay!

noneever

I think feeling overwhelmed is a sign that you are doing too much. Can you take some time to nurture yourself?

PhoenixJ

Perhaps you should go to rehab. Is this art stuff more important to you than concentrating on your health, your sobriety?

cusper

Thank you for writing in Heartcore. You know you are right, epsom salts are very calming. I think I might have some magnesium oil somewhere. (same stuff in epsom) You know my only solace right now is that I am planning a great vacation after the show which should be at the end of April. I look at vacation spots and I do relax a lot just looking at the beach. I think I'd forgotten just how hard early recover was. I am happy to hear you are going to have a great visit with your best friend. Again, thank you for writing in to me. I have been in panic mode lately

cusper

I would love to Phoenix but I am now the bread winner from my art and have to pay the mortgage, food, utilities etc . If my husband gets a job I will definitely take some time off and he knows it. I had a breakdown this morning and he is looking like he will get the job that he interviewed for today. So if all goes well I am taking a much needed retreat.
Nonever, it's kind of soothing to me that someone wrote back. I am actually less anxious since you all wrote in. I feel less alone in this.

Bunting23

You are not alone, thank you for sharing!

cusper

Thank you Bunting!

Scruffanie

Hi Cusper,

I'm pretty new too, just over 2mths. I'm a Single, part time Mum and also my only source of income.

Coping with work, parenting, a partner and life in general can be difficult but throw in life saving sobriety and lack of sleep and things can get on top of me pretty quickly.

What works for me is just focusing on what I need to do right now or today. Tomorrow will take care of itself. If I look to far ahead then I can get very anxious. I also use guided meditation, especially at work, just 10mins, and I feel calmer. Sometimes I just sit for a couple of minutes with my eyes closed and breathe. There are some good free meditation apps.

First things first. You can do this xx

PhoenixJ

no not alone.

cusper

Thank you Scruffanie. I know it's a lot! I have never been one to focus on just one thing, I wouldn't even know where to begin. You know, I think I just might take today off. It is apparently the warmest day on record for this time of year. I was able to get a really good sleep last night which I haven't in weeks. I have just started to try meditation. Again thank you for writing to me. It has really helped my anxiety.