Water441

Hi, I followed my psychiatrist's treatment plan, did counselling, did an outpatient 28 day intensive rehab and then after ALL that, I drank again. So now I'm making the financial commitment which is huge to go to private rehab. With a holistic approach - not 12step.

Questions:

1. Why did rehab work for you when nothing else did?
2. What was it like?
3. What should I bring that's allowed that I wouldn't have thought to bring but that you'd recommend?
4. Any other tips welcome.

I leave Saturday and there goes our 20k savings for a wedding

Done4today

3. Take the biggest piece of humble pie.

Gottalife

A very wealthy man from the States spent a year in Europe under the care of the famous Carl Jung, the very best care money could buy. He stayed sober the whole time and dealt with all his issues.

On his journey home he visted Paris where someone offered him a drink. He thought it would be ok as he hadn't drank for a year. He was back in the gutter in a day. He went to Jung and asked for the truth. Why was he drinking? After spending all that money he ought to have been fixed. The short version was that Jung told him he was absolutely hopeless and that his only chance of sobriety would be with a full time body guard. He had never seen anyone recover in whom the condition existed to the extent it did in him. The only known solution was in the form of a rare phenomena called a vital spritual experience, (complete psychic change). The man found his way to one of these and never drank again. He wasn't in AA either.

The moral of the story is that alcoholism, once it has taken a full hold, can not be cured or fixed by throwing money at it.
The most successful organisation, AA, is completely free. The solution lies in our attitudes, our way of thinking and our way of living. Rehab can open the door a bit, but continued sobriety will most likely mean a totally new approach to life. An Open mind is probably the most important thing to bring, and some honesty of course.

Algorithm

I'm not trying to be clever, Water, but you appear to be on the precipice of losing everything good in your life, so you should probably give some thought to things.

You are asking this of others, but can you define what you believe it means for rehab to 'work' for you, in the context of an addiction to alcohol?

What does that mean, exactly?

Delizadee

I am 12 days out of a 6 week inpatient family treatment centre. I'll answer your questions in the order that works for me:

3. I brought comforts from home that were allowed by the centre. I brought my own comforters, throw blankets and pillows. I brought comfy clothes, slippers and house coats are good, I opted for cozy sweaters and sweats. Pictures from home, special mementos. Etc.
I brought my recovery binder and all my journals and started a treatment specific journal.
I also brought my own lamp and a bunch of fiction and recovery literature to read before bed time. I brought an alarm clock with a radio to listen to while showering and getting ready as we're so cut off from the outside world- and music never hurts.
Remember the toileteries that you may not think of that you'd take on a regular, be prepared. ie, feminine products. I also brought my own floss thingies, qtips, and a little bit of whatever products I was allowed to make myself feel presentable and put together every day.

2. It was intense. It was very structured, and very over programmed. We didn't get a lot of downtime and they do that for a reason. The structure and routine is to help us assimilate back in to real life with some sense of order and purpose through our days. I know the daily chores and schedules did help me with my procrastination/laziness issues. I was never lazy, always went above and beyond while I was there, doing chores, program work, participating, etc. 6 weeks is a huge commitment, and I made the choice to make the absolute most out of it and I have reaped many great rewards because of it. But 6 weeks is just scratching the tip of the iceberg. Working on trauma, abuse, grief and relationships brought me to my knees. But it was necessary. There is a TON more I can tell you about what my time in treatment was like. There are some folks on here who have detailed posts about their treatment time, Meraviglioso and Aellyce are two I can think of off the top of my head.

4. Go in with an open mind, and like it was said before, a good dose of humility. Even I thought I knew a hell of a lot about recovery-and I do, and I even got told by many of the counselors that I had taught them a lot and I credit that to my time on SR and my SR family and the work I've done here. Anyhow- I don't know it all, and I never will.
Getting to recovery is a lot different than just getting sober. Recovery is a life long process. So, to touch on #3, I think it's the getting to the point when an addict or even a person suffering with mental health problems or been through trauma and abuse, can take the reins in their lives and say, "This is me now. I control my life. I've walked through the pain and I know it doesn't own me. My addiction doesn't own me. My abusers and circumstances don't own me. I own my responsibility to make the best possible decisions I know how to continue to learn how to be the best possible me.
Recovery is not once and done. When I realized that I always, always had a choice, that I didn't have to be afraid of the pain of the past, that I could ride out the bad feelings if I faced them (feel the fear and face it anyways). When I was willing to go to any lengths to live a life of recovery, I found that I had to work really damn hard and walk through a lot of tough sh*t and learn how to be honest with myself, put my sobriety first, and walk my OWN path with integrity, hope and faith and have a strong support system and the courage to use it continuously and the wisdom to remember that my supports are always there. I felt like it was all doable. Because I knew it was.

I won't know until the day I die if this treatment plus the previous 6 weeks of drop in day-programming I did is what it took for me to get it to click together in my head. I know that I have hit enough dead ends (or bottoms) in my own maze of life that I have faith I am walking the best possible path for myself right now.
And everyone has their own path, their own times and ways of figuring out what they want, and what they need. The question is, are you willing, ready, and open minded enough to start working on change? Wherever you're at on your path towards recovery is where you are, and it's your choice where you want to go from here. Nobody can make this happen for you. And you can do this. I have total faith in that.
I'd wish you good luck but I think sending light, love and strength your way would be more appropriate. Take care. xo
Love,
Del

Forward12

Bring your everything that you will get sober no matter what, and stay that way.

Winslow

Water,don't worry about the money spent, it's an investment in YOU,you can have a smaller wedding later but be healthy and AF Del,that was a wonderful post

soberandhonest

1. Rehab worked for me because I was ready to change and I accepted my problem, because by going to rehab I knew that I could never again make a claim such as, "yeah I drink a bit too much but look at my great job and my successes, I'm not really an addict," and because rehab gave me a chance to focus solely on myself and my addiction for a short period of time, rather than have to balance my recovery with childcare and work and commutes and relationships and everything else that I always have going. Those three things are why I think rehab worked for me.
2. My rehab was very short (2 weeks) and involved alternative (counter conditioning) treatment. At this point in time, some 15 months later, I believe that the actual rehab facility or method is much less important than the patient's attitude, openness, acceptance, and willingness. Overall, I mostly enjoyed myself at rehab. It's the first time in many many years that I could focus almost exclusively on myself. I felt like I was really accomplishing something. I met a lot of really cool and very "normal" people. The nursing staff was fabulous and the doctors were great. No complaints.
3. Find out what you are allowed to bring first, but try to bring comfortable clothing. I especially wanted a really comfortable hoodie and nice thick warm socks. Bring some workout gear if that is a possibility and use rehab as a jumpstart to improved physical health. Bring a notepad so you can keep a recovery journal - very important. If you can't have your phone, see if you can bring an ipod or something like that for music.
4. Use your time at rehab wisely. This is an investment in yourself, so make it count. There are a ton of professionals at the facility - utilize them. Find every resource at your disposal and use it. Don't skip meetings. Make yourself and your recovery the center of your world. When you leave, make sure that you have a detailed, written recovery plan for exactly what you are going to do when you leave to stay sober. If AA is not in your plans, that is fine, but you better damn well have some specific plans to actively work on recovery in place of AA meetings.

Good luck. Rehab was a big part of my recovery. Make it count!

Eddiebuckle

Ask yourself this question... in your heart of hearts, what are you not willing to do to get sober? The answer(s) to this are the things you should be most concerned about. Especially when it comes to early recovery, you are either all in or you are out. "Trying", doing what is asked "for the most part", and treating recovery like anything less than a life or death proposition are signs you might want to revisit your reasons for going.

DesertDawg

Water -- I went to a 30-day facility and did outpatient follow-up.

The reason it helped me is that for starters, I was in an environment that I couldn't physically get my hands on alcohol, so since the option was off the table altogether, there was no mental back-and-forth of "should I drink or not?" Also, as someone else mentioned, there wasn't much downtime, even on weekends, so that cut down on the 'mind grind' and pity party I would normally have for myself. I was also surrounded by people dealing with the same problems I was dealing with.

Someone else mentioned bringing comfortable clothes and stuff. It is important to be comfortable, but I noticed some people would never get out of their pajamas or would rarely even change clothes. I made it a point to be up early every morning, in the shower before everyone else, took my grooming and hygiene seriously, and was dressed and ready to take on the day while everyone else was still milling about having just rolled out of bed. It gave me a small sense of pride and accomplishment to start every day. So the whole idea of sort of indulging in physical comfort and walking around in sweatpants and slippers all the time wasn't really for me.

Finally, (and some people may find this sentiment distasteful) when I went in, I hadn't yet lost very much, in terms of material things, job, relationships, etc. However, being in close contact and talking, every day, with people who seemed like genuinely good folks, but who in some cases had lost nearly everything because of their addiction, made me very grateful for what I still had and even more determined not to lose it over something stupid like an inability to stop drinking. Even though I was much better off than a lot of the people in there with me, theirs was the direction I was headed and the whole thing was a giant wakeup call for me. It gave me perspective.

Meraviglioso

Hello and congratulations on your decision to go.

For me, I have similar experiences to DesertDawg and soberandhonest. It worked because I was able to fully detox and get clean and then drinking was absolutely off the table. I was locked int he facility (with later privileges to leave for a few hours once a week with a trusted companion and alcohol tests as soon as I returned). It worked because I was finally ready for it to work.

What was it like? It was amazing. Not only did it address my alcoholism (I'll post the link to my thread at the bottom) but it gave me a month to concentrate on ME. I was able to get into a routine of eating healthy (attendance at all meals was required) I took daily showers and made time to use lotion, facial care products, do my hair and make up. I had time to nap and rest and take walks. I had time to think and cry. I was deeply cared for by every member of the staff from the doctors and psychologists down to the nurses who gave me my IV drips and the people who came to clean my room daily. I was made to feel I mattered and that getting healthy was a powerful and important thing to do.

I was allowed to bring my computer and phone though no wifi was provided. Fortunately the wifi I use at home is a portable "web cube" so I just brought that with me and plugged it in there. I brought a few special drawings that my children had done. One in particular is so meaningful to me. It is a portrait my son made of me when he was 3, with all kinds of bits of paper glued on it, very cute. It had been crumbled up by him one night when he was angry with me (obviously I was drunk and not caring for him) I had straightened it out and it serves as an ongoing reminder of why I want to stay sober. I brought one, long book to read. I brought a notebook to write in during the daily groups and to journal in.I brought my own toiletries (required). I wish I had brought my own comforter and pillow but didn't know that was an option- I think it is at most rehabs, though the bed sheets are changed by the staff there so leave that at home. I did not bring enough clothing. I packed in a drunken hurry and this was a mistake. There were no facilities to wash clothing. I had only te pair of jeans I went in on. Fortunately someone gave me an extra pair of sweatpants and later someone visiting brought me additional clothes. I would suggest comfortable clothes with a few nicer options for days you want to dress yourself nicely and feel good about yourself. Pyjamas. I asked friends around the world to send me mail and this was a great joy to me. I loved getting cards of support. It really boosted my spirits. I didn't take much else.

Here is a pretty detailed account of what it is like:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ab-report.html

Best of luck to you!

oh, edited to add: money, take some cash for the coffee machine and if you smoke they generally allow you to order cigarettes that will be delivered to the facility on a daily basis. You can also order magazines and newspapers- or at least I could at mine. I think I spent around €200 during the stay but I was drinking A LOT of coffee and tea and started smoking a LOT more. Also if you are able bring in big packs of later bottles of water. The bottle of water in the machine costed €.60, I had a friend deliver me 20 large bottles of water that I could drink when I wanted, it saved me a lot of money.