TheRuralJuror

I have only just in the past few days begun to get really serious about being done with alcohol (after contemplating it for about a year). I just found SR last night and basically this community has solidified my want to quit.

However, on Thursday I am leaving for a 3 day vacation with husband and 4 other couples. We all stay in a large cabin together, and there will be a lot of drinking (mimosas/bloody marys for breakfast, then drinks throughout the day), and I know I don't want to start out my 1st attempt at sobriety fighting through 3 days of vacation.

On the other hand, I have unofficially been sober since this past Sunday (I usually only drink on weekends, but drink a lot), so I've got that going for me.

Has anyone launched into sobriety by giving yourself a countdown or end date? I'm not saying I want to do on a bender from now until then, but would it be "ok" to say that as of Monday, 2/27 I will officially be trying to stay sober?

I have already made the decision that I would not be drinking as much. I was successful in doing this through the holidays (for the most part) and even though we hosted a huge New Year's party, this is the first year in 15 years I woke up without a hangover on Jan 1st.

Does this approach work, or am I sabotaging myself from the start? Has anyone said "I'm getting sober on X date" then gone for it?

I'm just really nervous about the trip and feel like if I'm trying not to drink at all, I will be more likely to drink way too much, if that makes any sense.

badger257

I've had about 100 "I will quit on this date" dates.... I'm 4 days sober( this time) and been drinking heavily for 6 years. But only you can decide for yourself.
Oh ... forgot to say Welcome to SR!!!!

Anna

There is ALWAYS a reason to put off stopping drinking. Start now, today, and begin to change your life.

TheRuralJuror

Do you have any tips on getting through vacation sober? In all honesty, I have no idea how.

TheRuralJuror

Thank you Badger! So far SR has been amazing.

Congrats on your 4 days!!

I haven't ever tried to get sober, so I think I don't really know what I'm in for!

Grymt

Let the people know you're quitting and stock up on alternatives? It seems simple to me. What do you think is going to be the problem?

TheRuralJuror

I think the problem for me is I've never tried to get sober before, and I am very worried that my first attempt will be an utter failure when I try starting on vacation.

We do literally nothing else on these vacations than sit around and drink, eat, play cards/games and visit wineries/breweries.

I don't think anyone who is going will understand (what will seem to them to be) my sudden decision to not drink, and I haven't decided who I want to share this journey with. None of them view me (or themselves) as alcoholics.

I guess I could just fake it and make it look like I'm drinking mixed drinks, like I did when I was pregnant but was in the first trimester and hadn't shared the news yet.

It just kind of feels like I'd be trying to get sober while putting myself in the middle of probably the biggest temptation of the year for me, and I guess I'm already scared of failure.

badger257

What will you do next year, and the next. And the........? Start now?

Anna

Honestly, if it was me and I was serious about sobriety, I'd skip the vacation, stay home and work on a plan for recovery. Recovery is about more than stopping drinking. It's about creating a lifestyle that will support your recovery.

Mattq2

I guess I am the odd man out. I read somewhere (years ago) that it was important to pick a meaningful day to target as a quit day.

Now I failed more times then I can count (using that method) but I hope it sticks this time.

If it was me in that situation I would not go. I know "me" and at only a week sober I would drink without doubt.

I had to hide from drinking situations for the first few months.

TheRuralJuror

I've thought about it, but this is quite literally the ONLY vacation my husband and I get every year without out kiddos. We have young toddlers, and the time away is important to us. My husband wouldn't go without me, and truthfully, I don't think he even thinks my problem is that bad because I'm "only" a weekend drinker. I haven't had the conversation with him yet about me getting sober for good (he already knows I won't be drinking after gastric bypass surgery though).

For the future, my lifestyle change will simply be that I won't buy alcohol for home. We don't go out to bars, we do our drinking at home or at friends/family's houses. I no longer drink beer, only wine and whiskey. Husband doesn't drink wine or whiskey, so if I don't buy it, it simply won't be here on the weekends. That's my plan A. I have thought about AA, but I just don't know if it is right for me. I'm still researching that.

Maybe I just need to suck it up and talk to him before we go about my plan to enter sobriety and tell him I'm starting by not drinking on vacation. He will be totally supportive, I've no doubt about that. Knowing he knows and is there for me might be enough to get me through the weekend. I just dread failing on my first attempt. Cocky as this will sound, I am one of those people who is generally good at things that I do, and I don't know if that will be the case with recovery.

Thank you for the advice though, I do appreciate it!

Dee74

I think it's like the old Chinese Proverb -


D

TheRuralJuror

I thought I'd read something about that somewhere along the way, too - which is why I thought I'd ask.

I am too selfish to stay home - it's our only vacation each year without kids, and I'm looking forward to it too much... for better or worse.

TheRuralJuror

Lovely sentiment!

HTown

Well congratulations on no hangover on the 1st. That is good. Glad you found us, and happy you are realizing how important it is to deal with the alcohol in your life.

Is alcohol causing you problems? Do you worry about how much you are drinking? Do you have trouble stopping at one or two drinks and keep going? Do you promise yourself you won't drink, but then do? Have you tried to moderate over and over only to be disappointed with yourself? I used to answer yes to all of those questions.

The trip sounds like fun, you are most likely going. The majority here know from hard won experience that it is better to avoid these situations early on as they put unnecessary strain on you. The first months sober are the hardest, or at least they were for me.

That being said, if you do go, I encourage you to not drink at all. You can always say you are trying to watch your weight/eat healthier if pressed.

Rich88

I have tried every way possible and this time self detox cold turkey from home ( not working ATM) was the only option n very hard.
I think what you feel is right way to go for YOU( not for anyone else) ,then do that but in saying that the worst quitting technique I have done is quitting at a time when alcohol is going to be more around you than usual, leads to as u said more drinking,benders and giving up easier. Try and have a relaxing holiday not ruined but pressure use it to unwind as much as u can but in saying that I have been in similar sitution before and those couple of days ended up been a drunken mess and lost friends n family due to over drinking "Going out with a bang" mentality so there needs to be a balance of fun relax and responsible decisions. Come back from holiday date is a good idea I think but don't let that be an excuse to drink big you can have just as much fun drinking slower than others around you and not loosing control because if u do get to that point of no return drunk and u have the thought of I can't do this for much longer make the most of it I can garuntee that it will blow up in your face and it won't be a good holiday to remember.
Have fun and make good decisions and keep your husband up to date how u feel let him know it may be hard and plz be with you and be as open as u can support will help more than anything plz listen to his reasoning too hehe ��

Rich88

Try and have thre road blocks for access to alcohol . As a metophor slash literally ,,..... Have keys in the backyard shed that unlocks a draw in the garage that has keys to the wine fridge, Three road blocks.
I have my father fellow drinker so there is drink here but I have lock on fridge he has keys and even if I do there is a list of costs of drinking for me eg. $, health, family disappointment. So I have to see the list while unlocking the fridge by then It has taken a long time to get to the drink and I am reminded y I don't want to

Grymt

"We do literally nothing else on these vacations than sit around and drink, eat, play cards/games and visit wineries/breweries. "

So in a way what you are looking forward to is spending the weekend sitting around drinking. And then quitting after. Basically boozing, somewhat like a fling before marriage.?

I can see why you think that might be a problem. You looking for validation from a bunch of alcoholics?

You might look at it as an opportunity to practice something you are going to have to do for the rest of your life, one day at a time of course. Not drinking. And then dealing with life as it is.

TheRuralJuror

I didn't think of it like a fling before marriage...but boy, are you right! You really put it into perspective for me.

Tomorrow I was supposed to make my trip to the liquor store to "stock up" for the trip. I'm not going to the liquor store.

I'm not going to buy booze for my trip.

I am not going to drink on my vacation.

Grymt