Help with Roommates
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Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 5
Help with Roommates
Hello!
My first post here- kind of nervous about it too since I haven't seen a lot of situations I can identify with. I'm an undergrad in college.. not drinking age.. but realized I had a drinking problem when my SO (who discourages drinking) asked me how many times I had done it and I told an answer I should have known was a lie, then believed myself
Then the entire day I kept having flashbacks to scenes where I went out and drank and the numbers kept adding up
I'm not an alcoholic, I went weeks without it at a time, but I always thought I had less than I did, or went out less than I did, and sometimes Wanted or craved it, for whatever reason (made me look cool? Who knows, I'm trying to see my schools counseling service)
So I know I can't be a casual drinker
Here's the problem: my roommate this year and my roommates next year drink casually. They agreed that if they ever had a..gathering.. they would tell me first and not drink a lot around me, and I know I don't mind them drinking since it's our house and they should have the right to keep alcohol there.
My worry is that this morning my roommate left her empty alcohol bottles on the counter and I wanted to know what she was drinking so I looked at the label- why did I need to do that? I don't want to be curious about it because the next step would be wanting to know what it tastes like and I can't drink again. How do I get myself to stop and just ignore it?
My first post here- kind of nervous about it too since I haven't seen a lot of situations I can identify with. I'm an undergrad in college.. not drinking age.. but realized I had a drinking problem when my SO (who discourages drinking) asked me how many times I had done it and I told an answer I should have known was a lie, then believed myself
Then the entire day I kept having flashbacks to scenes where I went out and drank and the numbers kept adding up
I'm not an alcoholic, I went weeks without it at a time, but I always thought I had less than I did, or went out less than I did, and sometimes Wanted or craved it, for whatever reason (made me look cool? Who knows, I'm trying to see my schools counseling service)
So I know I can't be a casual drinker
Here's the problem: my roommate this year and my roommates next year drink casually. They agreed that if they ever had a..gathering.. they would tell me first and not drink a lot around me, and I know I don't mind them drinking since it's our house and they should have the right to keep alcohol there.
My worry is that this morning my roommate left her empty alcohol bottles on the counter and I wanted to know what she was drinking so I looked at the label- why did I need to do that? I don't want to be curious about it because the next step would be wanting to know what it tastes like and I can't drink again. How do I get myself to stop and just ignore it?
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Welcome! I'm glad you posted.
One thing I would say is that being an alcoholic isn't about how often you drink, or even how much you drink. It's more about what happens to you when you drink.
It sounds like your roommates are being supportive and understanding. You could ask them to not leave the almost empty bottles around, but that might be pushing things a bit. Have you stopped drinking? I think you will find that things get easier as you move along in recovery. Your other option might be to try to move into a house with non-drinkers. Would that be a possibility?
One thing I would say is that being an alcoholic isn't about how often you drink, or even how much you drink. It's more about what happens to you when you drink.
It sounds like your roommates are being supportive and understanding. You could ask them to not leave the almost empty bottles around, but that might be pushing things a bit. Have you stopped drinking? I think you will find that things get easier as you move along in recovery. Your other option might be to try to move into a house with non-drinkers. Would that be a possibility?
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Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 2,950
A lot of us here are alcoholics.. we drank in excess, daily, for years, despite ruining our lives, spending all our money, losing jobs and relationships, going to jail, and having health issues.. A lot of us came here for help because we couldn't stop drinking regardless of what happened as a result of it.
To me, just based on what you have said, you sound like a curious young kid who feels guilty about drinking before he was of age.
Looking at a label and being curious what your roommate is drinking is not a sign of an alcohol addiction. It's a sign of being 20 and being curious about something that has been off limits to you so far.
I think you're being too hard on yourself. Unless I'm missing information. What happens to you when you drink, tell me that.
To me, just based on what you have said, you sound like a curious young kid who feels guilty about drinking before he was of age.
Looking at a label and being curious what your roommate is drinking is not a sign of an alcohol addiction. It's a sign of being 20 and being curious about something that has been off limits to you so far.
I think you're being too hard on yourself. Unless I'm missing information. What happens to you when you drink, tell me that.
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Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 5
Originally Posted by Anna 
Welcome! I'm glad you posted.
One thing I would say is that being an alcoholic isn't about how often you drink, or even how much you drink. It's more about what happens to you when you drink.
It sounds like your roommates are being supportive and understanding. You could ask them to not leave the almost empty bottles around, but that might be pushing things a bit. Have you stopped drinking? I think you will find that things get easier as you move along in recovery. Your other option might be to try to move into a house with non-drinkers. Would that be a possibility?
One thing I would say is that being an alcoholic isn't about how often you drink, or even how much you drink. It's more about what happens to you when you drink.
It sounds like your roommates are being supportive and understanding. You could ask them to not leave the almost empty bottles around, but that might be pushing things a bit. Have you stopped drinking? I think you will find that things get easier as you move along in recovery. Your other option might be to try to move into a house with non-drinkers. Would that be a possibility?
Yes I have stopped drinking- and no I'll probably be with these roommates for a couple years, but I could get a recycle bag so I don't have to see the bottles?
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Join Date: Feb 2017
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Originally Posted by BrendaChenowyth
A lot of us here are alcoholics.. we drank in excess, daily, for years, despite ruining our lives, spending all our money, losing jobs and relationships, going to jail, and having health issues.. A lot of us came here for help because we couldn't stop drinking regardless of what happened as a result of it.
To me, just based on what you have said, you sound like a curious young kid who feels guilty about drinking before he was of age.
Looking at a label and being curious what your roommate is drinking is not a sign of an alcohol addiction. It's a sign of being 20 and being curious about something that has been off limits to you so far.
I think you're being too hard on yourself. Unless I'm missing information. What happens to you when you drink, tell me that.
To me, just based on what you have said, you sound like a curious young kid who feels guilty about drinking before he was of age.
Looking at a label and being curious what your roommate is drinking is not a sign of an alcohol addiction. It's a sign of being 20 and being curious about something that has been off limits to you so far.
I think you're being too hard on yourself. Unless I'm missing information. What happens to you when you drink, tell me that.
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Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 2,950
Originally Posted by Firefly123
I agree, but I also think I can't ignore signs to stop, my father is an alcoholic and I would find myself drinking at home alone, or drinking and lying about it and not being able to say no, finding myself sometimes thinking 'I need a drink' which I feel is worrying given my history and family history. I know I'm not as bad as many college party drinkers, but I don't want to go easy and let myself get to that point because I almost was
I am so jealous! I wish I had this degree of self-awareness when I was your age.. now I sound like I am old, I am only 32, but I could have side-stepped a buttload of misery if I had been able to identify that alcohol could have a detrimental affect on my life... before it had a detrimental affect on my life.
There are plenty of people your age who don't drink, some for exactly the same reasons you've just mentioned, and some because they just don't like the taste or the feeling they get from it, others for religious reasons, others because they are health conscious.
Please don't think that you're missing out on all the fun, you can decide that drinking is not for you, and find endless other things that do make life worthwhile.
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