noneever

I have made myself the promise to never drink again so many times that I no longer trust myself. I am completely hungover today and there is no chance of me drinking tonight. But I know that tomorrow or the next day or the next day, the urge to drink will return. In the last 3 years, I haven't gone longer than a fortnight without drinking.
Is there anyone out there who had a pattern of on/ off drinking but managed to get their stuff together and quit for good? I need some hope that this is possible because even now, as anxious and awful as I feel, I cannot believe I'll never drink again.

OpioPhobe

I was an 'on' all the time drinker (morning, noon and night) when I drank. That doesn't exactly match the pattern you describe. I just celebrated 18 months off of drugs / alcohol. There are hundreds of people that I know personally who have achieved long-term sobriety. Some of them were binge drinkers, drug users, all-the time drinkers, etc.

Hope that helps.

PhoenixJ

None- welcome. Anyone similar? This is a global site for boozers. I won't reinvent the wheel. Read the threads, the stories. Read the different 'Class of ...' threads- see what other real people experience and do. Join the Class of Feb, 2017 thread. Ask questions. Go to a SMART or an AA meeting. See a therapist. Make informed decisions, make a plan (lots of info at SR), make informed decisions, alcoholism cannot be wished away. My thoughts and support to you. PJ

noneever

Thank you Phoenix. I'm actually familiar with your story. I've been blessed to have not hit a horrendous rock bottom like you. And I have no intention of doing so. If you can get sober and stay sober, by God, so can I.

Polaroid

No. no one. I've tried, it just doesn't work.

By the way, Millenials/kids today just call it 'Inspo'. (Coming from my two lovely sisters)

Forward12

Don't drink, simple as that.

AlaskaGirl

Hi! I started out binging, became an almost daily drinker, tried to quit, then went back to binging most of the last year (2016). I would go a week, sometimes two, then invent an excuse to drink.

It finally clicked for me.

I'm not very far in, only 44 days, but I've absolutely committed to never drinking again. Don't give up. Keep searching for what will work for you. There is so much inspiration on this site. Read as much as you can, check out the stickies at the top of the forums. Everyone has the ability to stop, I have total faith that you can do this!

Dee74

I started as a guy who drank at weekends...sober during the week...eventually the weekend started Thursday night...then Wednesday...

ended as a all day everyday drinker...couldn't get 3 consecutive days sober

I now have nearly ten years. It's not easy but it is possible.

It's all in finding support, using it, and in not being afraid to make changes that reflect you desire to be sober.

I know you've been ion 2 minds today noneever but there's people here who've pulled themselves out of some very dark holes...no reason why you can't do the same

D

Nonsensical

Sometimes I feel like running other drivers into the ditch, but I don't.
Sometimes I feel like cheating on my wife, but I don't.
Sometimes I feel like throwing my stapler at my boss's head, but I don't.
Sometimes I feel like drinking, but I don't.

You know what happens when I feel like drinking, but I don't?

Nothing.

The urge to drink isn't anything special. Just another useless urge that makes my life worse when I act on it.

Midwest1981

I joined SR the end of 2014 and didn't really stay sober for more then a month or two at a time until I quit in June of 2016.

It takes time for it to click but keep working on it and it will. Reach out here before you drink and play the tape forward. If you want to quit going around in circles you just have to start adding up those days and keep adding. You have to ride out those cravings at first and then they eventually go away and it gets easier.

Once you start seeing all the positive changes in physical & mental health, appearance etc. it gets better!

Nowsthetime

Don't focus on forever. Focus on today. That will make it easier.

tomsteve

one day early on I was struggling reeeeeal bad- I wanted a drink, which I knew would be about a 12 pack. about 7 or so that night, before I headed to the store, I called a man I met in AA. told him what was goin on.
"tom, why not just not drink today. theres only a couple hours left in today anyways. if you feel like drinkin tomorrow, ok, but call me first.
I made it through the day, but tomorrow...oh man!! evening time again and I wanted a drink.
and made a phone call.
"hey, I didn't drink last nite and you said if I want to drink tomorrow,ok but call ya first. its tomorrow and im goin to drink."
'well,tom, its not tomorrow. its today. just don't drink for the rest of today and if you feel like drinkin tomorrow,ok. but call me first."

HUH!!!

Anna

How are you doing today?

noneever

Thanks all. Anna- I've woken up not hungover, so it's already a better day. I've got an inkling of how big a mess I've created and I'm scared about how long it's going to take to fix. I feel more hopeful than yesterday but I've been here countless times and I just don't trust myself.

Algorithm

If you are able to not drink in the present moment (right now), then you are able to never drink again, because it is always the present moment. When it comes to not doing something, now is the same as then.

I will never drink again = I will never drink in the present moment.

Whatever you do, don't wait for a rock bottom. Regularly driving drunk, which you apparently do, is not a good idea, particularly for a nurse.

It could lead to something like this:

DUI "Bottom" --

noneever

Algorithm- that is so true. It IS always the present moment and if I've chosen to not drink in other previous present moments, I can do it again and again.
The drink driving is reprehensible.

noneever

I just read the DUI post.
I am never drinking alcohol again.

Algorithm

You can actually do much better than choosing not to drink over and over again, by deciding never to choose again, thereby removing the option of choosing entirely.

This ends the inner "should I or shouldn't I drink?" debate. It really doesn't have to be a daily decision kind of thing.

I will never drink again = I will never choose to drink again.

The real problem is that you often change your mind, though, no?

Hopefully, some of what I've written has helped, but ideas of drinking will invariably return. How to recognize those ideas as bad ideas instantly?

It may help you to consider that if driving drunk is reprehensible, and that one cannot possibly drive drunk if not drinking, that perhaps the drinking is more reprehensible than the driving?

Driving doesn't necessarily lead to drunk driving, but drinking often does. If it is wrong for you to drive drunk, and you frequently drive drunk once you drink, is it not therefore wrong for you to drink in the first place?

Something to consider.

BrendaChenowyth

You are the only one in control of this, so you have to learn to trust yourself.

You have to make the decision to quit, and wait out the withdrawal, knowing that it is temporary and that once you do it, you don't have to go through it again.

Don't expect not to miss it or never have an urge, and don't beat yourself up for having one. I have met people who have been sober for years and admit they still crave a drink every day. They simply don't give in to it. Eventually shutting down the urge becomes habit.

We don't get to live in total peace. We're going to have thoughts we don't want to have. We just have to learn not to act on every thought we have.