Just registered on SR...at last!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 80
Just registered on SR...at last!
Morning everyone,
I'm brand new on here and I’ve never posted before today. In fact, it’s taken me three years to register but I have now finally accepted that it’s now or never.
I’m 41 and have been battling with this hell for over 20 years. I’ve had periods of abstinence (9, 7 and 6 months, the odd fortnight here and there, but have obviously gone back to hell each time).
So now I have the choice whether to go public with my sobriety and admit everything, or make up some story about how I’m on meds that don’t mix with booze, or maybe that I’m watching my weight…etc..etc..
I’ve read a lot of threads about how/if/when to let others know but I’m still very much concerned about what people will think, and whether they will see through the reasons I give. I don’t feel ready to be honest and say what I really am for fear of being judged.
I have no idea if friends and family already know that I have a serious drinking problem, no-one has ever expressed a concern to my face, but my hunch is that although I think I’ve been careful and secret (who the heck was I kidding?), it wouldn’t surprise me that I’m not pulling the wool over some people’s eyes.
I find it frustrating that we need to justify why we don’t drink when I wouldn’t dream of challenging anyone about why they don’t smoke, or why they don’t go to a gym or why they don’t eat their 5 a day. Having thought more about this, obviously most people don’t have a problem after that first drink so have no need to remove drinking from their lives!
Be great to hear how/if others have dealt with ‘going public’..
I have 15 days :-)
It’s also Sunday morning here in the UK and I’m not hungover!!! Instead, enjoying my coffee instead of reaching for the diet coke and painkillers.
Great to be here at last, after years of lurking :-)
I'm brand new on here and I’ve never posted before today. In fact, it’s taken me three years to register but I have now finally accepted that it’s now or never.
I’m 41 and have been battling with this hell for over 20 years. I’ve had periods of abstinence (9, 7 and 6 months, the odd fortnight here and there, but have obviously gone back to hell each time).
So now I have the choice whether to go public with my sobriety and admit everything, or make up some story about how I’m on meds that don’t mix with booze, or maybe that I’m watching my weight…etc..etc..
I’ve read a lot of threads about how/if/when to let others know but I’m still very much concerned about what people will think, and whether they will see through the reasons I give. I don’t feel ready to be honest and say what I really am for fear of being judged.
I have no idea if friends and family already know that I have a serious drinking problem, no-one has ever expressed a concern to my face, but my hunch is that although I think I’ve been careful and secret (who the heck was I kidding?), it wouldn’t surprise me that I’m not pulling the wool over some people’s eyes.
I find it frustrating that we need to justify why we don’t drink when I wouldn’t dream of challenging anyone about why they don’t smoke, or why they don’t go to a gym or why they don’t eat their 5 a day. Having thought more about this, obviously most people don’t have a problem after that first drink so have no need to remove drinking from their lives!
Be great to hear how/if others have dealt with ‘going public’..
I have 15 days :-)
It’s also Sunday morning here in the UK and I’m not hungover!!! Instead, enjoying my coffee instead of reaching for the diet coke and painkillers.
Great to be here at last, after years of lurking :-)
sober style
Join Date: May 2016
Location: San Antonio
Posts: 2,387
Hi eggcup, glad you made the SR scene. As far as going public, I let my friends know I was quitting for health reasons but I didn't make a big deal out of it. It helped that alcohol was never part of socializing for me; I drank alone. I've had zero peer pressure from not drinking, but I know some people do get that. Anyway, first things first. Your sobriety comes first. How others choose to take it is their problem.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,670
eggcup- welcome, interesting name. Thanks for the post. It shows courage and honesty. I do not do stuff publically unless I MEAN IT. aS BINDING AS A LEGAL CONTRACT TO ME. nO ONE HERE JUDGES- YOU DO ENOUGH OF THAT. iT IS ABOUT SHARING, GROWING, LEARNING- RECOVERING IN SOBRIETY AND HEALING. I WILL NOT REINVENT THE WHEEL. tHE ARE PEOPLE AT sr WITH FAR MORE WISDOM THANi. rEAD AROUND. oNE THING iOnce again- welcome. I am typing with the keyboard on my lap- not typing again, cap lock and typos.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi eggcup25 
I think it depends on who you're going public with - I went public to everyone but then I was a very public drunk.
I kinda regret that now because it made a lot of people worry. I think now it wasn't necessary for me to tell everyone in order to stay sober.
I did have to make some changes tho with mates and what I did for fun.
You'll need to decide how to handle that but the good thing is you don;t have to do that today.
Maybe the best thing for now is to stay sober and work out what to say, if anything, when that time comes?
I think it depends on who you're going public with - I went public to everyone but then I was a very public drunk.
I kinda regret that now because it made a lot of people worry. I think now it wasn't necessary for me to tell everyone in order to stay sober.
I did have to make some changes tho with mates and what I did for fun.
You'll need to decide how to handle that but the good thing is you don;t have to do that today.
Maybe the best thing for now is to stay sober and work out what to say, if anything, when that time comes?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 80
Thank you for your replies so far.
It's a huge thing for me to post, all part of my acceptance! So glad I have.
Luckily my lifestyle does not mean I'm out socially all the time drinking, I also drank alone, at any opportunity day or night, so it may be easier than I think for me to say to others I'm not drinking anymore due to lifestyle changes. It sounds so easy!
Thanks for your support, I look forward to being part of this community.
It's a huge thing for me to post, all part of my acceptance! So glad I have.
Luckily my lifestyle does not mean I'm out socially all the time drinking, I also drank alone, at any opportunity day or night, so it may be easier than I think for me to say to others I'm not drinking anymore due to lifestyle changes. It sounds so easy!
Thanks for your support, I look forward to being part of this community.
Sober since October
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,355
Welcome, Eggcup!
Congrats on 15 days!
You've survived through the first week - that speaks a lot.
Stick to us - SR is a great place of support (well, you already know this, I believe), and it's even better on the posting side)
Congrats on 15 days!
You've survived through the first week - that speaks a lot.
Stick to us - SR is a great place of support (well, you already know this, I believe), and it's even better on the posting side)
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
Hi eggcup ,
welcome to the posting side of things
Most people who challenge me not drinking seem to be on the look out for a "partner in crime" it's happened twice in 6 years , so not a big deal .
m
welcome to the posting side of things
Most people who challenge me not drinking seem to be on the look out for a "partner in crime" it's happened twice in 6 years , so not a big deal .
m
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 66
Doctors advice - bad test results is how I explained it away when asked. As the year has gone on I've moved into 'yeah maybe I'll stop forever, I'm kind of over it now'.
Noone really cared that much, as long as you don't interrupt their drinking. In fact I've had a number of people tell me their alcohol consumption is starting to get the better of them.
Noone really cared that much, as long as you don't interrupt their drinking. In fact I've had a number of people tell me their alcohol consumption is starting to get the better of them.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 2,393
Originally Posted by hodor 
Doctors advice - bad test results is how I explained it away when asked. As the year has gone on I've moved into 'yeah maybe I'll stop forever, I'm kind of over it now'.
Noone really cared that much, as long as you don't interrupt their drinking. In fact I've had a number of people tell me their alcohol consumption is starting to get the better of them.
Noone really cared that much, as long as you don't interrupt their drinking. In fact I've had a number of people tell me their alcohol consumption is starting to get the better of them.
All is Change
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,284
I guess I'm selective. I've no trouble saying I'm an alcoholic to people that I choose to tell it to. If I'm in a situation where people are drinking and I am asked if I want a drink I often say " I don't drink" and if pressed I say "If I drink my life tends to become unmanageable so I choose not to." Do what works for you.
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