Love / Addiction
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Love / Addiction
In your words..
What is the difference between love and addiction?
I'm not fishing for anything, it's just something that popped in to my head. I am curious how other people look at it.
What is the difference between love and addiction?
I'm not fishing for anything, it's just something that popped in to my head. I am curious how other people look at it.
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I'm not real good on the subject of "love", I'm a guy, its all relative to me. But on addiction, I detest it. I am a freedom lover and the thought that something controls me goes against every fiber in my body.
Love is something everyone deserves, addiction is something no one deserves. That's the difference for me.
Love is something everyone deserves, addiction is something no one deserves. That's the difference for me.
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Interesting question, Brenda. Especially as, when I was younger, I used alcohol to "get over" this thing with a girl. (It didn't work.)
To get at your question though:
Well, for one, they are both very powerful influences, both things that could drive one to do just about anything. But while love has the potential to make one do noble, selfless things, addiction is something that revolves around the addict. The addict will do anything and everything to feed the addiction, sometimes, even often, at the expense of others -- even loved ones.
But love can be destructive too. In many events, it is not always mutual.
@Thomas LOL
To get at your question though:
Well, for one, they are both very powerful influences, both things that could drive one to do just about anything. But while love has the potential to make one do noble, selfless things, addiction is something that revolves around the addict. The addict will do anything and everything to feed the addiction, sometimes, even often, at the expense of others -- even loved ones.
But love can be destructive too. In many events, it is not always mutual.
@Thomas LOL
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There's definitely a chemical side to love, which I believe is similar to addiction and which involves a lot of biological reactions. But once the chemical side subsides, evolving into a solid loving relationship requires emotional maturity.
That's my take on it.
An anthropologist called Helen Fisher has done a lot of work on this. I've found her work very interesting.
That's my take on it.
An anthropologist called Helen Fisher has done a lot of work on this. I've found her work very interesting.
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To me, love exists in a relationship when both people are accepted as their true selves. There should be no dishonesty, no masks, and, most importantly, no ********. To have that requires trust and self-confidence by both people. If you don't have that then neither person will be able to open up without fear of rejection. If both people do open up and let the other person see who they really are (flaws and all) then they have a shot if they still accept each other. Also, the sum should be greater than the parts. Each person should care for the other person to the same degree that they would care for themselves (not more - not less). I think another criteria would be that each person must be able to stand on their own if they need to end the relationship. If that doesn't exist, someone will probably get walked all over eventually.
If you are talking about romantic love then you just need to add on mutual, physical attraction and physical intimacy.
Everyone has there own definition for love I believe. I think it is the most powerful emotion that one can experience.
Addiction is something totally different. I define that as a disease that is similar to OCD. I obsess about something that I want and use it compulsively despite obvious harm to myself. My mind creates elaborate justifications to protect my using. Willpower may be able to keep me away from using for some period of time, but that will eventually fail me if I am left to my own devices.
Hope this helps.
If you are talking about romantic love then you just need to add on mutual, physical attraction and physical intimacy.
Everyone has there own definition for love I believe. I think it is the most powerful emotion that one can experience.
Addiction is something totally different. I define that as a disease that is similar to OCD. I obsess about something that I want and use it compulsively despite obvious harm to myself. My mind creates elaborate justifications to protect my using. Willpower may be able to keep me away from using for some period of time, but that will eventually fail me if I am left to my own devices.
Hope this helps.
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It's all an addiction of sorts, I think. Addiction to the love object or addiction to the sensations arising from being in love. Which is which? Is it really all self love? Romantic love? Eros, Anteros. I don't know. Philosophers talk about it. I suffer it.
At least sobriety is an opportunity to work it out.
At least sobriety is an opportunity to work it out.
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Originally Posted by BrendaChenowyth 
If you think you love someone who never loves you back, are you in love or are you just hung up on or addicted to the person?
ps...you're not addicted. Be real.
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Originally Posted by BrendaChenowyth
One can tell. Sometimes that "he might love me" debate is just refusal to admit they can't love you back.. similar to addiction.
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I think it is possible to have addictive thoughts about someone and you don't have to even love them - it could be an addictive thought about what someone said about you or "what did they mean by that?" That kind of thing.
Obsessive thoughts can be challenged and they will eventually stop. Sometimes I say "STOP" out loud when I start to over-think stuff.
Obsessive thoughts can be challenged and they will eventually stop. Sometimes I say "STOP" out loud when I start to over-think stuff.
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Originally Posted by thomas11
Of course, and I don't know your situation. But it may be as simple as your describe it. Yeah, don't like her. done. moving on. But you seem very nice.
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Originally Posted by biminiblue
I think it is possible to have addictive thoughts about someone and you don't have to even love them - it could be an addictive thought about what someone said about you or "what did they mean by that?" That kind of thing.
Obsessive thoughts can be challenged and they will eventually stop. Sometimes I say "STOP" out loud when I start to over-think stuff.
Obsessive thoughts can be challenged and they will eventually stop. Sometimes I say "STOP" out loud when I start to over-think stuff.
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Originally Posted by BrendaChenowyth
If you think you love someone who never loves you back, are you in love or are you just hung up on or addicted to the person?
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Originally Posted by OpioPhobe
I would call that obsession if it is taken to an extreme (e.g. stalking someone, crying in their driveway, etc.). Otherwise it is old fashion heartbreak. If that was addiction then the entire world would be addicts.
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