sissylove

I've only been sober 5 days, but after 20+ years of drinking everyday until I pass out at night I think I've had enough. Hard to believe I would even question it.

I've always been fun(or so I thought) to be around when I'm drinking. Nowt sure how to act when I go out and I'm not drinking. Who am I if I'm not drunk? I'm worried I'm boring and I'm too embarrassed to tell my bf of 3 1/2 years that I'm not as cool as he may have thought.

He wants me to quit since my fun usually turns to anger where he's concerned and it's never fair to him. I always feel guilty and apologize the next day.

Scared to know what kind of person I maybe sober? Anyone else feel the same?

thomas11

It may take awhile to find out who you really are, but you can feel good knowing that it is the real you and not one masked by booze. Congrats on your 5 days.

Ariesagain

Hey, you just met the sober you and you barely know each other. Give it some time.

Exactly what is cool about being a staggering, sloppy, slurring drunk?

The fact that your boyfriend wants you to quit but you're saying you're concerned that he will think less of you if you do...a bit contradictory, yes? It sounds like your addicted voice is coming up with that excuse.

You don't know yet. Give it a chance.

Anna

Yes, it is scary, but give it some time. My perceptions changed through the first year as I learned more about myself. Some of things I learned were clearly opposite to what I had believed myself to be, so it was a bit daunting. I think if you keep an open mind and are patient with yourself, you will come to love the person you are discovering.

Jojay

Very early days yet.I too drank quite heavily for around 20years untill May last year.I decreased my consumption for a few weeks prior to going cold turkey though.Well done for getting sober.There is a wealth of support and information here on SR.I would say concentrate on your sobriety right now,.Your boyfriend will almost ceartsinly support you.Keep posting

SoberLeigh

When I stopped drinking, I was more afraid of a life with alcohol than I was of a life without alcohol. I no longer knew who I was or what had happened to my soul.

I will bet that, like me, you will grow to very much like and appreciate the new sober you; you may find that there is so much 'untapped you' within just waiting to be nurtured and allowed to bloom.

Glad that you are here, sissylove.

Welcome!!!!!

CaptainNinja

I'm only 3 days in and I'm already recognizing that my emotions and reactions to things are much different than I'm used to them being. With as much as I've read, I realize that my mind/body are adjusting to not being bogged down by booze. I am consciously trying to remember that each time I react to something. Easier said than done at times, but knowing that I'm in an adjustment phase is important.
Congratulations on your sober time thus far! Stick with it and I'm sure you'll find that you love the "real" you!

MissOverIt

I can relate and thanks for sharing. I used to be concerned that I wouldn't be as attractive or fun. Would sex be lame? How would I connect with old friends or make new ones? The fears feel real but it's smoke and mirrors really. In a pretty short time that confidence and fun comes back but without so many bad side affects. Hang in there, hugs.

2ndhandrose

"The new sober me-not sure I like her"

Give her a chance, the unknown is scary for most of us but it can also be exciting.

Who knows what you are capable of, how kind you are, how funny you can be, what an adventurer you become, a loving girlfriend, a great friend, someone other people want to be???

All that is waiting for you to discover!

You are in very early days, keep in mind, that this is a marathon and not a sprint.

ljc267

I've been sober a little over 4 months so I remember quite well how I felt early on. I can tell you I was very lost at first. I drank everyday for 10 years and when I quit I realized I didn't know me anymore. Over time I lost the ability to feel true happiness. I, too, didn't and really still don't, know how to act in certain situation when I would normally drink.

Those things will work themselves out in time. At first I felt worse then I did while drinking. I even questioned if it was worth it. I actually said to myself, if this is how I'm going to feel I don't think I want to do it.

Over the next few months I felt better and better. Now I feel like I'm truly making progress. I tell you this because when I felt like you I read someones story and their situation was similar to mine. They got better and it gave me hope that I would too and I am. Not 100% but moving that way.

I hope this helps a bit. Best of luck to you!

BrendaChenowyth

You're not going to know in five days who you are. Trust me.

sissylove

Wow I'm overwhelmed by all of the kind and honest responses . Thank you all so much. I'm still in shock I'm here in the first place. So good to have this support and I know I have a really long way to go the phrase "one day at a time" really rings true. Good lord I hope I can do this

ljc267

You can. It's the only thing you can truly control.

Ariesagain

Sending you a hug. It's so early days for you...you're still detoxing from the physical effects of alcohol. I remember day four was my absolute worst. The addicted part of your brain is very, very uneasy right now and it only knows one answer. It's kinda dumb that way

I'm now on day 407 and there were plenty of early days that were just days to get through. But there are two major changes now...first, my baseline anxiety level is much lower. Second, I now trust my own judgment so much more...I never knew this old girl had it in her!

What you're feeling now isn't what living sober feels like. It's a process that takes time, but you never have to relive these early days again.

You can do this.

Jojay

Our experiences of very early sobriety are not always identical,but yes you are right,sadly

ABetterWay1

I agree that five days is not nearly enough time to get to know the sober you. She might be pretty amazing!

I'm only at 41 days myself and I can already look at myself in the mirror and be proud of what I see. I wasn't a terrible guy 24/7 as an active drinker, but the person I see without alcohol is the 'real' me, how it's meant to be.

ABW1

BrendaChenowyth

I should have added, I suspect if you stick with it, you will learn to love yourself. In my third month of sobriety my self-esteem was off the charts. You'll get there.

Michael66

Hey SissyLove. Early days can be tough for all sorts of reasons. We often have huge readjustments to make. Stay with us though - give yourself a chance. I think you'll end up very much liking what comes out of the chrysalis

gregknight

Good answer. I concur with you and others saying the same.

MsCooterBrown

I think we are the same personality with or without. With is an enhanced version that sometimes is over the top. BUT a bit of us is in there...always.