Advice
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 13
Advice
I went drinking last night and blacked out. I realize that will power will not be enough for me. I have decided to try AA. I need advice in two questions.
1) is AA useful for people like me? Those who can go 2 or more weeks without drinking but then drink insane amounts most of the times we drink?
2) what should i expect at the meeting? Will people ask me questions? Or will I be able to just listen in silence without talking to anyone? How is the the first meeting experience? I am very nervous about this.
1) is AA useful for people like me? Those who can go 2 or more weeks without drinking but then drink insane amounts most of the times we drink?
2) what should i expect at the meeting? Will people ask me questions? Or will I be able to just listen in silence without talking to anyone? How is the the first meeting experience? I am very nervous about this.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,626
LG- At first I just went and listened. You can go to any meeting. You do not have to share- or even write your name down. If asked to share you can just say you just want to listen. The only person who pressured me was myself.
People like me- well you blacked out. You mentioned 'insane'. Heard that b4. It is not how much booze or how often- but how it effects your feelings, thoughts and actions. The fact you are asking questions warrants a visit. Only you can work out what can gelp you. If you go willing to learn and grow and listen without judgement and with respect, who knows?
People like me- well you blacked out. You mentioned 'insane'. Heard that b4. It is not how much booze or how often- but how it effects your feelings, thoughts and actions. The fact you are asking questions warrants a visit. Only you can work out what can gelp you. If you go willing to learn and grow and listen without judgement and with respect, who knows?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: North of England
Posts: 1,442
AA meetings have a general format but they also vary quite a lot depending on the type (as you mention) and the size of them.
They usually start with a preamble, then a reading from the 'big book' or occasionally some other AA literature. Then someone usually does a 'main' share - they talk about their experience of drinking and more helpfully usually about their journey to recovery. After that - anything from ten to twenty minutes in, the meeting is thrown open. Some meetings involve going in turn around the room for people to share a few words or more. To cover your concerns here, you are perfectly free to just say 'pass, glad to be here' - many people do. At other meetings rather than taking turns things are just thrown open for anyone who wants to to talk - and they may talk about anything from their struggles to their victories and anything in between.
You mentioned other types of meetings. There are two or three. An 'open' meeting welcomes anyone - 'alcoholic' or not. A 'closed' meeting welcomes only alcholics...in reality I have never noticed any real difference except partners and friends sometimes come to open meetings. There are also 'step' meetings. At these the topic is one of the 12 steps, The reading and the main share are about that step. That's about it. Most meetings last 90 minutes with a coffee break, though a few last only one hour.
I believe that in the USA meetings end (and maybe begin?) with a prayer. Here in the UK we seem rather more secular in our approach and meetings end with the hand holding circle and the serenity prayer and the phrase 'using the word god as you may or may not understand it'. I'm sure that puts some people off. It did me, as an atheist, but without getting into it here - there are ways of managing that aspect of the program if one struggles with the idea of 'spirituality'.
Nobody will pressure you to say or do anything - or to make any kind of commitment. My experience is that people at AA are welcoming and considerate. They all know and remember their first few meetings and how nervous they were. There really is no need to be.
As to your drinking pattern - people with all kinds of problem drinking go to AA. If you can't stop once you start there is clearly an issue. A meeting or two will help you decide if AA is for you.
All the best - and have no fears about attending a meeting. You will be made very welcome!
They usually start with a preamble, then a reading from the 'big book' or occasionally some other AA literature. Then someone usually does a 'main' share - they talk about their experience of drinking and more helpfully usually about their journey to recovery. After that - anything from ten to twenty minutes in, the meeting is thrown open. Some meetings involve going in turn around the room for people to share a few words or more. To cover your concerns here, you are perfectly free to just say 'pass, glad to be here' - many people do. At other meetings rather than taking turns things are just thrown open for anyone who wants to to talk - and they may talk about anything from their struggles to their victories and anything in between.
You mentioned other types of meetings. There are two or three. An 'open' meeting welcomes anyone - 'alcoholic' or not. A 'closed' meeting welcomes only alcholics...in reality I have never noticed any real difference except partners and friends sometimes come to open meetings. There are also 'step' meetings. At these the topic is one of the 12 steps, The reading and the main share are about that step. That's about it. Most meetings last 90 minutes with a coffee break, though a few last only one hour.
I believe that in the USA meetings end (and maybe begin?) with a prayer. Here in the UK we seem rather more secular in our approach and meetings end with the hand holding circle and the serenity prayer and the phrase 'using the word god as you may or may not understand it'. I'm sure that puts some people off. It did me, as an atheist, but without getting into it here - there are ways of managing that aspect of the program if one struggles with the idea of 'spirituality'.
Nobody will pressure you to say or do anything - or to make any kind of commitment. My experience is that people at AA are welcoming and considerate. They all know and remember their first few meetings and how nervous they were. There really is no need to be.
As to your drinking pattern - people with all kinds of problem drinking go to AA. If you can't stop once you start there is clearly an issue. A meeting or two will help you decide if AA is for you.
All the best - and have no fears about attending a meeting. You will be made very welcome!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 2,966
I started with 'open discussion' meetings and still attend. You do not have to talk and sometimes there is an awkward silence. Sometimes someone will 'rant' about their current life's struggles for 20 minutes. Sometimes you'll have someone making you laugh till you cry over some of the insane stuff they did while drunk..I've never went into a meeting and didn't leave feeling 'better' mentally,physically and spiritually(I'm also not religious at all). Can't hurt to go check a few out.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: North of England
Posts: 1,442
I should have added to my rather dry description that meetings can be great fun (also a bit weird sometimes!). But I feel better after a meeting 9 times out of ten!
Originally Posted by DontRemember 
I started with 'open discussion' meetings and still attend. You do not have to talk and sometimes there is an awkward silence. Sometimes someone will 'rant' about their current life's struggles for 20 minutes. Sometimes you'll have someone making you laugh till you cry over some of the insane stuff they did while drunk..I've never went into a meeting and didn't leave feeling 'better' mentally,physically and spiritually(I'm also not religious at all). Can't hurt to go check a few out.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 2,966
Originally Posted by Mentium
I should have added to my rather dry description that meetings can be great fun (also a bit weird sometimes!). But I feel better after a meeting 9 times out of ten!
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,021
I echo what others have said -- there are different kinds of meetings, and you don't have to do anything to attend, you can just sit (sometimes you'll be asked who you are, and you can respond with your first name -- they like it if you say "I'm X, and I'm an alcoholic" but there's no rule).
There are people with all different kinds of drinking patterns. They common feature is that our drinking is harmful, and we seek a way to stop.
Meetings do vary from place to place, but not a lot in format. In NYC people rarely use prayer & we even have agnostic & buddhist AA meetings, lots of specialty meetings.
You'll learn a lot if you get into AA, and contrary to some people's belief, it is not a cult. For those willing to accept the steps, it will help you get sober. But you still make and are responsible for all your own decisions.
Good luck!
There are people with all different kinds of drinking patterns. They common feature is that our drinking is harmful, and we seek a way to stop.
Meetings do vary from place to place, but not a lot in format. In NYC people rarely use prayer & we even have agnostic & buddhist AA meetings, lots of specialty meetings.
You'll learn a lot if you get into AA, and contrary to some people's belief, it is not a cult. For those willing to accept the steps, it will help you get sober. But you still make and are responsible for all your own decisions.
Good luck!
Mini Novel Post Writer
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Maine
Posts: 3,649
Originally Posted by Luchogarza
I went drinking last night and blacked out. I realize that will power will not be enough for me. I have decided to try AA. I need advice in two questions.
1) is AA useful for people like me? Those who can go 2 or more weeks without drinking but then drink insane amounts most of the times we drink?
2) what should i expect at the meeting? Will people ask me questions? Or will I be able to just listen in silence without talking to anyone? How is the the first meeting experience? I am very nervous about this.
1) is AA useful for people like me? Those who can go 2 or more weeks without drinking but then drink insane amounts most of the times we drink?
2) what should i expect at the meeting? Will people ask me questions? Or will I be able to just listen in silence without talking to anyone? How is the the first meeting experience? I am very nervous about this.
1) You just described me. I could go weeks without batting an eye. Give me the keys to the beer bottle though and I was off and running. All bets were off as to what was going to happen. AA is useful for anyone who has an issue with alcohol.
2) You've already received a lot of good answers here. Go, listen, and keep an open mind. It will be really helpful if you tell someone this is your first meeting.
Only you can decide if it works for you but it's a great way to start to focus on your recovery!
You can do this and all the things you do to help support yourself will make it easier.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
I haven't read all the other responses yet but I'm 'that' kind of drinker. I can go long periods without drinking, then I go on benders. They aren't always train wrecks, but I probably have to detox 50% of the time. Absolutely brutal.
And yes, AA helps a lot. That's if I'm willing to help myself. Willingness is key. If you are willing to try something different and willing to take action, AA could be an amazing experience.
You don't have to do anything you don't want to in AA. A desire to quit drinking is all that is required. Willingness and open-mindedness help.
And yes, AA helps a lot. That's if I'm willing to help myself. Willingness is key. If you are willing to try something different and willing to take action, AA could be an amazing experience.
You don't have to do anything you don't want to in AA. A desire to quit drinking is all that is required. Willingness and open-mindedness help.
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