Anyone tried Refuge Recovery?

Old 02-06-2017, 07:03 PM
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Anyone tried Refuge Recovery?

I am really liking this, just haven't had too much of an opportunity to really get involved as there aren't any meetings yet established where I live. But I think it sounds like the perfect thing for me. Anyone here live in a place that has these meetings and try them?
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Old 02-10-2017, 08:10 PM
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Hi Marie,

There is a meeting in my area, and I visited it a few times in early recovery. I really liked it. I don't participate any more, mainly because I use AVRT now and am not looking for meeting-based support. But I found Noah Levine's book interesting and helpful.

It's been a topic on SR -- here are links to a couple threads and an article:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-recovery.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-recovery.html

A Buddhist-Based Refuge for People in Recovery

I hope that's helpful Marie, and welcome to the Secular Connections sub-forum!
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Old 02-11-2017, 02:56 AM
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There is also a group called the 5th Precept that deals with Buddhist based recovery approaches.
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Old 02-11-2017, 11:14 AM
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No meetings here, but I liked the book, and meditation is central to my recovery plan. Here's something similar if there is a Shambhala center near you: 12 Fold Recovery Path~ Sarpashana - Shambhala Meditation Center of DenverShambhala Meditation Center of Denver
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Old 02-11-2017, 07:26 PM
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Lots of "Buddha" here but no such meetings...In fact today is a big Buddha Holiday...I can hear all the chants from 2 near by temples.
"for me" Having AVRT it's nice not needed any type of meetings.
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Old 02-13-2017, 12:25 PM
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Yes Stewart, that's one of the things I appreciate about RR/AVRT - the freedom! I've stopped drinking and I never need to attend meetings again, because my sobriety is not contingent upon meeting attendance, recruiting newcomers etc. I can apply what precious time I have on this planet to my family, whom I've neglected for so long.

It's just so liberating. But I could (and do ) cry at the wasted years I've spent pouring alcohol down my throat. I just wish I'd applied AVRT when I first encountered it, many years before the meeting attendances. I just wish this method of stopping drinking, albeit old as the hills, received more publicity, and thereby saved more folks. It's so frustrating.

I've studied Buddhism and enjoy meditating, plus I've attended retreats. Now that through AVRT I no longer drink, my Buddhism studies and meditating have taken on a new lease of life and I enjoy it!

Sometimes I awaken at night and start meditating in order to fall asleep again - no more alcohol induced sleep for me. Who would've thought how calm and relaxed I'd be without alcohol, when I actually thought that alcohol was making me calm and relaxed!
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Old 02-13-2017, 07:01 PM
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Yes. I go to a small meeting almost weekly. I don't go to keep from using, I just go for the wisdom that comes up in our conversations and a little meditation. Its a great program (although that word is a stretch).

Funny thing about Buddhist thought is that is seems like it was designed for addiction. My favorite parts are that it can help you stay balanced without getting all deep into any writings -basic knowledge works just fine, and secular folks like myself fit in great. It could also be used by a christian, a twelve stepper or whatever. Highly recommended.
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Old 03-10-2017, 12:01 PM
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I have just found 2 meetings here in Toronto. One on Tuesdays which happens a bit late for me.... I get up stupid early for work so it's past my bedybye time lol. The other is on Fridays which is tonight. I am going to check it out. The mindfulness and meditation would be beneficial for the anxiety I've been experiencing. I'm also lonely and need to meet sober people since 90% of my friends are people who I drink with every weekend. So I'll give an update of the meeting later tonight!
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Old 03-10-2017, 06:41 PM
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So I liked the meeting. It was in a holistic naturopath center and it had a big window and lots of plants and incense burning, a very calm welcoming relaxing atmosphere. It was a small group of people in their 30's and 40's. We meditated and then read from the book and then we all shared. I found it hard to share.... got kind of flustered and had a hard time organizing my thoughts. I'm not used to opening up to a room full of strangers but hopefully it gets easier. I feel good, when I went to .. meetings I often left feeling triggered and craving a drink badly. This was different, a more soothing environment. I will go back next week for sure.... totally beats a night of drinking and self harm. It's good for me to get out of the house and be active about my recovery. I was really isolating and only surrounding myself with people who would support my addiction.
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Old 03-10-2017, 06:44 PM
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I feel like I've quit drinking more times than I can count but this is the first time that I'm actually trying recovery.
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Old 03-11-2017, 01:28 AM
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Zenchaser, I'm glad you enjoyed the meeting, it sounds like a very positive step forwards; particularly meeting folks, instead of isolating.

I used to attend Buddhist monk led meditation courses and meditating sessions. Now I meditate at my favourite spot near a stream, whilst the water flows past, like my thoughts. When I find myself getting tangled up in anxiety creating thoughts, I meditate, letting go of each thought. I always feel calmer afterwards. When I was a drinker I would sit in the same spot, drinking myself into a stupor until I was oblivious of nature and wildlife surrounding me. It was such a waste of part of my life. I'm so relieved that horror is behind me.

I guess that's why I embraced AVRT, I already practised observing thoughts as they arose in my mind, from the standpoint of 'me', an independant observer. Also, once the question of drinking is taken completely off the table, it's easier to concentrate on and address other habits, worries or conditions. You're doing great! 😄
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Old 03-18-2017, 09:27 AM
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I've been to three but my last one when I talked about the opening the brow Chakra I wasn't well excepted realized it wasn't for me.
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Old 03-20-2017, 04:34 PM
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So part of the Refuge Recovery program is writing 2 different inventories. The first is about how you've suffered from your addiction and the second about what you have been trying to avoid by using whatever your DOC was. My therapist wants me to start working on something like this...... I can't seem to get past just reading the questions, gotta say they are some tough questions. Going to be opening up old wounds and buried feelings. Maybe I'll just pick 5 questions a day and work on it before the kids get home from school when I have the house to myself. I've been using that time to do some yoga and meditating so adding 20 min of writing would make sense.

Did any of you folks take an inventory of sorts after quitting? And if so was it helpful?

I grew up in a family where if you didn't use drugs or drink you were the odd one out.... and then I had some trauma as an adult which I dealt with by pouring more booze and drugs on top instead of feeling any of it. But my life is good these days except that I abuse alcohol.... feels like a maladaptation of my past that I need to release. I feel capable of letting it go now, for a long long time I couldn't envision myself without it and I couldn't accept that I would have to give it up. I can today.

This whole post is me procrastinating about working on my inventory! lol
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Old 03-20-2017, 08:27 PM
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I don't know if the big inventories are necessary in early recovery. Although knowing yourself and your trespasses might be beneficial, I believe its fine for most of us to work this stuff out after some solid sober time. -maybe first things first. Get the body and mind healthy and then tackle all that stuff...I realize this may be different for those with severe trauma to deal with. I had some trauma, but then just drank myself into more.

My single most important inventory when cleaning up was the benefit/cost analysis of continued using. It was like a slap in the face (in a good way). I even carried it in my wallet for a bit.

All the other stuff like mending relationships and becoming trustworthy again came with continued sobriety and positive intention.

I really am not knocking inventories, but there are some of us who just had to SOBER UP to start growing again. I remember early sobriety and how fragile I was. I had plenty of guilt on my plate and almost shot myself over it. An unflinching personal inventory was the last thing I needed at that point.
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Old 03-21-2017, 11:06 AM
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Yeah I think you're right, it just doesn't feel right at this time. I know about my past and what my drinking was doing to me and my loved ones and I know why I've stopped for good. It is enough for now to keep doing yoga and meditating, sleep well, eat well and start growing those sober muscles. I already feel kinda raw and restless, why push things along faster than they need to go? I remember trying to do my inventory in .. and crying and crying lol. I don't want to put myself through that again! I think part of being an addict is wanting things to happen immediately.... I want to feel better now! Gotta learn some patience.
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Old 03-21-2017, 11:29 AM
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Yeah, man. -one thing I thought about was the fact that a lot (probably most) folks without the addiction issue would have a bit of trouble with some of these inventories. Helllo therapy!!! HA!

Also, when I do meditation, I sometimes work on confronting my personal fictions. Seems to help...
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Old 03-23-2017, 02:18 PM
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Hell I'm going back you no what they say don't leave until the miracle happens. I"ve made all my amends took 11 years of AA what I did is what Boleo taught me his top secret program. Alcoholic opiate addict poker gambling addict porn addict extc I have lost the obsession for all of them no desire. I'm sick of drunk allogs and meditation is really helping me. AA actually Hinduism all diferrent gods and higher powers. I gave birth to what was within you can't escape suffering there's no were to go you got to go within. I believe in me opened The Brow Chakra ten years ago didn't know what it was I do now Opened Crown Chakra 02/12/17 then I was raptured I'm not looking for a spiritual awakening just want to be more grounded.
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