whatcouldbe

Tonight i am in bed by 830 again. I have 34 days under my belt-woohoo. Yeah, well not so happy right now....actually a little down really. It is hard to see everyone on fb toasting and cheers-ing friday night. I am feeling lonely and like an outcast who has no friends. I have a wonderfully supportive husband and great kids. Looking forward to the morning without hangover (love it). What do you all do to pass the weekends and parties that you are missing? I know their are others feeling the same tonight and may just need to hear you are out there....

Mattq2

Whatcouldbe,
I think somehow you have to find happiness in sobriety. I think it's so important to focus on what your gaining. Your health and respect of your family to start with. Think about all of the positive improvements that occur each day. I for one don't miss those drinking days. I love waking up with a clear mind remembering what I did the night before. I love sobriety. I don't think I'm missing out on anything. It's just an adjustment to make new friends and learn new things to do. It takes positive attitude to get it all started. You've come so far and it will get better.

Mklove

Yes, I definitely have that same feeling, I know I missed a lot of last holiday because I chose not to go to the parties. My advice to myself is to get out more socially with new people, yah right. Now I have to do it. I go out with people while they drink all of the time, since I drank mostly at home not a trigger. Could you go to parties and not drink, lots of people do that I have found.

mecanix

Not everyone goes to parties on a friday,

maybe it's time to ditch facebook for a while or reduce the number of friends you get updates about , especially drinkers ?
I don't miss being drunk miles away from home or saturday morning hangovers.

Last night i was was recording music till about 10 pm and had delivery pizza

As i'm a decent time into sobriety i find i have surplus in my budget , i paid my debts off years ago, so i checked i'd paid my bills this month and then put money into my savings/investment account.

Only have a little bit in there but it's growing these days what with me trying to be sencible and sober in all areas of my life ..

Tomorrow morning i'll be up at about 7am and walk into the village along the sea front for tea and toast for breakfast .

I never used to get out of bed before midday in the drunk days so weekend mornings are a bit magical and their freshness isnt missed on me .

As time goes on i've found drinkers and their antics more horrifying and worrisome for their health than anything i'd feel jealous or envious of . Maybe you'll find it the same after a while ?


34 days is great but it still is early days in the span of a glorious sober life

m

Anna

Good job on your recovery!

Early recovery is a time of change and I think that's what you might be experiencing. Recovery is more than stopping drinking. Usually we need to make lifestyle changes to support our recovery. In my case, I had remove a few people from my life and change activities. Maybe you could find some outdoor activities to do on the weekend by yourself or with friends/family that would help you to feel less isolated?

omnicare6754110

I'd be lying if I said I didn't know what that feels like. I'm only 32 and one of my biggest problems (and the biggest problem some of my friends have) is letting go of that party life. None of us want to grow up.

I've been sober about as long as you are now (35ish days) a few times and I definitely start to miss it around that time. But it's ok to miss it a little. I tell myself - of course you miss it. Alcohol was your friend for a very long time. Problem is, it was an abusive friendship and there are parts I don't miss. In fact, there are parts that can't ever be a part of my life again. So the friendship needs to end.

Def agree with Mecanix when it comes to thinking about getting rid of Facebook. I used to spend hours upon hours looking at it. The times I've deactivated I've felt much better about myself and much more focused on my own life.

Congrats on 34 days sober!

PhoenixJ

Prayers

Fallow

I spent my friday night in the gym. Then I look forward to waking up early and cooking pancakes for my little ones.

Boring to some, maybe.

I am gaining time though! Cause theres now a lot more of the weekend available to enjoy.

Plus, my family is happy and that is my actual #1 priority. Being sober I can finally live up to my priorities

Good luck.

Dee74

I would stay off FB on Friday nights - you'll only make yourself miserable.

As an aside I reckon the posters behind the majority of the posts are miserable too but that's another thread....

Id staying in on a Friday makes you said, why not plan something good for next Friday - something that gets you out of the house but is totally not about drinkers or drinking?

visit a museum or art gallery see a movie, play a sport or hit the gym, have a coffee or pizza date...if you need to be at home for hubby or kids, get a book or a movie you really wanted to read or watch...vary your routine...have dinner later or earlier...

just give everything a bit of a refresh?

D

least

Maybe I'm weird but I don't miss going out as I did all my drinking at home by myself.

I don't miss drinking tho, not one bit.

CLAS

Whatcouldbe- I have roughly the same amount of days as you and I'm down too. Way down, actually. They say this is kinda normal and that we will bounce back. Our smiles are in there somewhere. One thing I started doing is writing at night. Just jump on the computer and write away. Its sorta fun, and healthy. Best.

wpainterw

Depression! Unfortunately to be expected when I stopped drinking. The big lie is that alcohol provides a "lift", so it's a "party" thing. Lie because it's really a depressant. Any doctor could tell you that. So when you quit drinking you get depressed? Seems to make no sense. But the fact is that I became addicted to a depressant. And when my body doesn't get it it wants the depressant to resume. It's "depressed" because it doesn't get what it had grown used to, which happened to be a depressant! The very definition of a "slippery slope".
The only way out is to hang tough. Avoid "parties" (I used to go and then a few minutes later sneak out the kitchen door) Be the "mysterious stranger". The Phantom of the Opera! Sneak off to a movie, an exercise facility, etc. etc. The "depression", "boredom" gradually go away. Hang in there

W.

whatcouldbe

You are all amazing! If i am honest i deal with SAD as well. Its February so days will start getting longer again. After posting one of my children needed me, so i went and then fell asleep comforting my "baby". My "baby" is 8 and it feels amazing to still be needed. Amazing to be able to just go instead of trying to hide smoking and drinking, and rushing to go back to resume drinking alone while my family all slept. Amazing to have a clear head and really truly be present for them.
Yes, i can say that i did not miss ANYTHING important this Friday, and it feels amazing to say that!!
Tomorrow is looking bright!

HelenofTroy

I was at my dr's yesterday going over my bloodwork results and I am a little low in vitamin D. The dr said that low vitamin D (which is low in winter for many people because our main source of vitamin D is the sun) can contribute to SAD. Perhaps vitamin D supplements would help your overall mood? I am going to drink more milk to bring mine up. And a glass of milk at bedtime helps me sleep better too.

thomas11

Sobriety is a huge change and I can understand you feeling a bit down. But you are doing the right thing. As others have mentioned, if facebook is bothering you, maybe stay away for a bit?

lillyknitting

What parties! Where?! Tell me and I'm going, but you don't have to drink yknow xx

ReadyAtLast

I would avoid Facebook for a while. I once read on here someone said Facebook is the highlight reel of people's lives it's not the behind the scenes reality. Most people just post the good stuff on pretending they have wonderful perfect lives.

They don't post how they've had a row with their spouse, worried about their children, stroppy teenagers, missed a deadline at work, been disciplined at work, got health concerns, got a drink problem, worries about money.

Don't believe everything you read and see. You're doing great focus on that

ReadyAtLast

Spot on! I have a daylight lamp which I use every morning. The reduction in my sad since using it is amazing.

JK130

I think you did great to go to bed early! It's a terrific coping skill, and will hopefully leave you well rested to enjoy the weekend with your family and friends! The par-tay is always "on" at SR!

MsCooterBrown

I kind of get the feeling of missing out. But like I posted before...I am isolated now and it is of my own doing. I surrounded myself for years with drinking buddies...and that is what they are...they don't want to go out to eat...movies...nothing! It would cut into the drinking time..So it is quite a change for me. I am doing more experimenting with recipes. I read. Lots of self help books on alcoholism. Or not...I prefer biographies or Ann Rule crime stuff. The key is to find something to do with what used to be your drinking time. And I too started drinking alone. Heck I would drink alone or with someone! No one wants a DUI so I started drinking at home. PLUS I retired. That opened up a can of worms...guess what...even MORE drinking time. I quit for months before. This time I know it is poison for me. Hope you hang in there whatcouldbe.