Guyfromthenorth

Hi

Well, Im new here. I just wanted to ask advice about peer pressure. Ive been sober since 26th january, not a long time I know. But my friends dont seem to understand that ive decided to quit and still call to hang out ("we dont need to get drunk, just couple of beers, cmon...whats wrong with you?")
One friend in particluar even kinda pissed me off (im normally very calm), wanted to visit on saturday. I was like, yea sure but I dont wanna drink and If you come I also want you not to drink. And he went blabbering on about how to world dosent revolve around me and just because ive decided to quit, I shouldnt expect him to abstain...That really pissed me off, cause you know, my home, my rules...I dont go around bars telling people I dont like what they are doing...neverthe less he never visited, havent talked to him since..

Michael66

I think just be polite but firm, and give simple short replies that you repeat as necessary until people learn you are not going to budge. Never feel you need to explain or excuse yourself - it's simply your choice not to drink any more, and you don't have to justify that to anyone else. And yes - your home, your rules.

MLD51

Yes - I agree with Michael. And if your peers can't respect that, and keep hounding you to drink, might be best to take a break from them, if you are serious about sobriety. I had to stay away from a few of my drinking friends until they got it through their thick heads that I don't drink anymore. They weren't being mean, they just didn't realize I was dead serious about quitting until some time had gone by. I lost a few friends, too, along the way, but they were just people I drank with and once I quit, there was nothing left there.

ScottFromWI

Lots of good advice here and congrats on being sober since the 26th.

It's said here a lot, but if some of your current friends aren't OK with your decision to not drink, they really aren't your friends, plain and simple. They are more likely just drinking buddies -and may be alcoholics themselves for that matter.

Be firm but polite and prepare for some backlash, some of them might never really understand why you don't drink anymore -but that is fine. You will meet other people along the way who don't solely focus on drinking as the only way to be social.

thomas11

Good for you on setting the ground rules. You'll find out who your real friends are in short order. You might find out that many of them were simply drinking buddies, and they may not be your "friend" much anymore. But that's ok. Living a life of sobriety is entirely different than being an active alcoholic (in my opinion). I also believe you will find it totally worth the effort.

NewRomanMan

Don't sound like very mature friends. Real friends respect each other's decisions. Even if they don't necessarily agree or understand.

Dee74

I found a lot of my social circle were simply drinking buddies by the end. We had no other connection.

My real friends, even those who drank, were worried for me and supported my decision not to drink.

I lost a lot of drinking bros but I reconnected with old friends that I'd moved away from because of my hard drinking, and I made new ones

D

Mentium

I'm newly sober and I wouldn't normally offer advice but I was at an AA meeting earlier this evening and someone said the following, which really applies here: 'Sit in a pub long enough and you'll take a drink'.

(It was followed by 'Sit in a meeting long enough and you'll get sober' as it happens)..

The point being that if you possibly can simply avoid people and places where alcohol is being consumed then you won't be tempted. It is tough enough in the early days!

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum Guyfromthenorth!!

Outonthetiles

If they won't toe the line and want you to drink, ghost 'em. They weren't real friends anyway.

On The Road

Hi Guy. Salient points have already been covered by other posts. Just offering you support - stick with your plan. It's well worth it.

tomsteve

when in rome,do as the romans do.
youre home is your rome.