I'm so scared
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 2
I'm so scared
I've been her for a while. I went through a detox last month and left early. I stayed sober for 3 weeks. I come here often for reassurance that I'm not losing my mind and to know I'm not alone. I tried doing IOP and lasted one day. All I got out of it was that I needed to go to AA. I went and sat in the parking lot and saw 5 much older men go in. I would have been the only female. Fine but no. I just can't seem to find my place in the world in more than one way. I just feel lost.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: North of England
Posts: 1,442
For starters - Welcome! Lots of people here who know what you are going through.
The AA groups I go to are about 2/3 male to 1/3 female, though sometimes the proportions vary a bit. I'm not sure where you live but if it is relatively urban you will probably find one to suit you. If you check on line you should find a contact phone number - most areas have them. The person on the other end will be very used to talking with new and frightened people, so you won't need to be anxious on that score. They will in all probability be able to either hook you up with a female AA member or point you in the direction of a group that might suit you. Worth a go?
AA can be scary to approach the first time, but pretty much everyone finds that once they manage to get through those doors a warm and helpful welcome is waiting for them.
There are of course other recovery programs - lots on here on those - but not so many face to face support groups as AA.
All the very best to you. Just take a few tiny steps and you will find help I'm sure!
The AA groups I go to are about 2/3 male to 1/3 female, though sometimes the proportions vary a bit. I'm not sure where you live but if it is relatively urban you will probably find one to suit you. If you check on line you should find a contact phone number - most areas have them. The person on the other end will be very used to talking with new and frightened people, so you won't need to be anxious on that score. They will in all probability be able to either hook you up with a female AA member or point you in the direction of a group that might suit you. Worth a go?
AA can be scary to approach the first time, but pretty much everyone finds that once they manage to get through those doors a warm and helpful welcome is waiting for them.
There are of course other recovery programs - lots on here on those - but not so many face to face support groups as AA.
All the very best to you. Just take a few tiny steps and you will find help I'm sure!
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 154
I don't have much advice as feeling as lost as you but in a different way...
You could try setting up a group in your area (or just outside) via Meetup.com and make it females only. Not sure what you could call it, maybe "lost" and just put a short description saying "this group is for meet ups for females struggling with finding their way"
Sorry can't be more helpful, this is my first time in 35 years of even attempting to jump onto the wagon, all the years before that I just watched it roll past whilst I drank!
You could try setting up a group in your area (or just outside) via Meetup.com and make it females only. Not sure what you could call it, maybe "lost" and just put a short description saying "this group is for meet ups for females struggling with finding their way"
Sorry can't be more helpful, this is my first time in 35 years of even attempting to jump onto the wagon, all the years before that I just watched it roll past whilst I drank!
Whatever it takes - just for today.
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Canberra, Australia
Posts: 200
Welcome to SR Love thy self.
I walked into my first AA meeting 53 days ago and I was feeling terrified. Terrified of going in and terrified of not going in. There were women at that meeting but I found both the men and the women equally welcoming and encouraging. AA has become my comfort in sobriety and so many members have helped me along the way. I have been to a meeting where I was the only female but regardless, our stories were still similar and our emotions around our alcoholism the same.
As I'm don't know where you are located it's difficult to say what other meetings will be available to you, but perhaps you could find out?
Having said that AA is not the only recovery program, you will find many options here on SR from both the textavailable and also from other members.
Stick around here and don't give up on your chance for sobriety
Scruff xx
I walked into my first AA meeting 53 days ago and I was feeling terrified. Terrified of going in and terrified of not going in. There were women at that meeting but I found both the men and the women equally welcoming and encouraging. AA has become my comfort in sobriety and so many members have helped me along the way. I have been to a meeting where I was the only female but regardless, our stories were still similar and our emotions around our alcoholism the same.
As I'm don't know where you are located it's difficult to say what other meetings will be available to you, but perhaps you could find out?
Having said that AA is not the only recovery program, you will find many options here on SR from both the textavailable and also from other members.
Stick around here and don't give up on your chance for sobriety
Scruff xx
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Hi and welcome
I have to be willing to go to any lengths to stay sober. That means setting my intention and making it happen. Recovery isn't going to just 'happen' to me. I like booze, for many reasons, but for one, it just 'happens'. I drink it, I get high, mission accomplished. I'm lazy. And I reject things that might actually get me sober.
Try more meetings. Find a woman's meeting. Go to Celebrate Recovery at church, if that's more your thing. Give IOP more than 1 day. Contact a substance abuse counselor. Post here daily.
Willingness. Acceptance.
I have to be willing to go to any lengths to stay sober. That means setting my intention and making it happen. Recovery isn't going to just 'happen' to me. I like booze, for many reasons, but for one, it just 'happens'. I drink it, I get high, mission accomplished. I'm lazy. And I reject things that might actually get me sober.
Try more meetings. Find a woman's meeting. Go to Celebrate Recovery at church, if that's more your thing. Give IOP more than 1 day. Contact a substance abuse counselor. Post here daily.
Willingness. Acceptance.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 500
I get it! There used to be a woman's meeting in my area but it's not here now. I did go to a men's meeting once and I really didn't like it. They were really welcoming for sure but it just wasn't for me. Feelings of displacement right now will be really high. (I feel this way too right now). Just feeling ok in your own skin isn't easy. Please keep coming here and posting, it really helps and there are great suggestions on here for support (all over this site). Also there are great TED talks on youtube from people who are recovering alcoholics which really helps. I can't afford therapy right now so I go on to youtube and listen to people talk about their experiences.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: northeast US
Posts: 715
Welcome to SR Love Thyself!! You are safe here, lots of good people struggling just like you. I first found this over 2 years ago... I was a lifeline for me, and helped me through the hardest of days, and because I drifted from it and other accountabilities, here I am again starting over but glad that I have this to come back to. As far as groups for women... yeah it can be hard but there are groups out there... make a call and connect and you'll get heading in the right direction.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by Lovethyself929 
I would have been the only female. Fine butt no. I just can't seem to find my place in the world in more than one way. I just feel lost.
maybe, just maybe if you start walking into those meetings you will find your place and yourself?
im glad ya at least made it to the parkin lot! my very 1st meeting, I pulled into the lot, backed in to a spot, put my car in drive and went home. cried all night while hating myself.
what caused me to leave was fear of the unknown.
next day I got me some courage to walk in.
greatest move I made was to get some courage to face the fear.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 2
Thank you all for your kind responses and empathy. My heart is full. Unfortunately the place I went for detox and IOP burnt to the ground. I'm in Virginia.
What am I scared of? Everything! First is the shakes I get everyday until I drink wine. I'm so afraid of what my body and mind is going to do. Im going to do it anyway today when I wake up. I have major anxiety and depression which is what I blame on my failed sobriety. I am planning to see an addiction counselor soon and hopefully get the therapy and possibly medication to get me out of my overthinking mind. Unfortunately he's not available for a couple weeks. I'm sure it won't be easier since the center burnt down.
Everyone who responded are angels to me and I will continue to post and follow you beautiful people.
Much love...
What am I scared of? Everything! First is the shakes I get everyday until I drink wine. I'm so afraid of what my body and mind is going to do. Im going to do it anyway today when I wake up. I have major anxiety and depression which is what I blame on my failed sobriety. I am planning to see an addiction counselor soon and hopefully get the therapy and possibly medication to get me out of my overthinking mind. Unfortunately he's not available for a couple weeks. I'm sure it won't be easier since the center burnt down.
Everyone who responded are angels to me and I will continue to post and follow you beautiful people.
Much love...
All is Change
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,282
If I understand correctly you're at the stage now where you daily get the shakes until you drink. With wine too. Ugh! Been there done that. You got to drink water and eat something every day, vitamins. Even if you can't keep it down. Keep clean and safe. Wash your clothes. See a professional as soon as you can. Try not to do anything silly on top of what you're already doing. Keep coming back.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,313
Lovethyself
I recommend joining the Class of January support thread here on SR - it's not too late
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post6312804
do you have a regular doctor - they might be good to see if you're at the stage of physical withdrawal?
D
I recommend joining the Class of January support thread here on SR - it's not too late
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post6312804
do you have a regular doctor - they might be good to see if you're at the stage of physical withdrawal?
D
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