Sassygrace

Is this normal? If so, will it pass soon?

I have a history of panic attacks. Didn't want to take benzos.

Thought drinking would work. Nothing works. Just want to feel safe and normal again.

Berrybean

Pretty common experience for many , including myself.

I got better once I engaged fully in recovery and founds new and better ways of dealing with life know life's terms rather than the cushioning effect of alcohol (or other external comforters ). Nowadays as long as I keep doing what I've learnt to do, I rarely experience anxiety in any major proportions. It's good to go to bed and actually look forward to waking up the next day.

Forward12

Yes drinking makes panic attacks and anxiety severely worse. I would seek out a therapist to help you with it as you mention it has been ongoing. There are plenty of non-benzo medications as well that can help.

entropy1964

Hey Sassie

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I think you're pretty early in abstinence, right?
It does take some time for the anxiety caused by your alcoholism to subside. And staying abstinent is really important because the anxiety often progresses right along with the addiction.

Once you've had some dry time you'll be able to better understand where addiction related anxiety ends and true GAD begins.

As Berry mentioned, a program of recovery will really help you deal with life and all the mental/emotional curve balls life throws at all of us. And exercise helps relieve both the physical and mental symptoms of anxiety.

Hang in there. You can do this!

Sassygrace

Thank you. I'm trying to talk myself down from this ledge and keep this site open on my screen so I don't feel alone. Thank you for being here

Dee74

stay with us sassy - you're not alone

D

saoutchik

No, your definitely not alone sassygrace, is there something in particular that is scaring you?

Fly N Buy

I have read through your other threads - have you considered going to meetings? Many find comfort in being around others who have problems with alcohol. The fellowships of face to face can be very supportive coulped with SR.

I needed some accountability , structure and live interaction. Because I can isolate I have to get outside my comfort zone at times.

Sassygrace

Meetings don't work for me. First of all, the "war stories" are enough to scare me into a downward spiral that will actually have me so frightened I'll be praying for a quick death.

I'm working on feeling safe. I go into fight or flight and then I drink.

I had stopped. I equate my drinking to the equivalent of someone taking a cyanide capsule in the face of torture. I just don't want to suffer anymore. I wasn't partying I was trying desperately to relax.

thomas11

Stay close to this forum, people will help you through it. Care to elaborate on your drinking history? Alcohol might very well be the culprit that is making you feel this way. I once got so bad I didn't leave my bedroom for a day.

Sassygrace

I was too vain to drink. I had a boat load of issues and fears and I got married to get out of the house. He always had wine around.

Didn't like the taste or calories from alcohol at all. Didn't take me long to realize how it took the edge off my fears and at first made me able to function. It actually did work. Until of course it didn't.

I'd stop. Then start. "Just to relax". Ugh.

All I wanted was some peace.

thomas11

It sounds like you are going to have a bit of a tough road ahead, but you can totally do it. Many of us used alcohol to escape things we didn't want to deal with, and in the end alcohol only made it worse. But we live and learn.

Doug39

I used alcohol everyday for 27 years to help me relax, face my fears and cope with life. It worked great the first 10 or so years of my drinking - but alcohol turned on me and it became an evil habit that left me weak and depleted. I ended up physically and mentally spent.

96 days ago I finally stopped the madness.

Sassygrace

My road has been too tough already.

My hope is that with surrendering this and staying close to good people I can be the person I was born to be.

It's time to stop suffering. Nothing's worth it. Nothing.