Boundaries
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 38
Boundaries
I am coming off a two week binge, where I get confused, all of my fears come back, and I get triggered.
Please help.
I moved into a not so great neighborhood.
I have trouble dealing with overly friendly people who can't take "No" for an answer.
They are not healed, they are not in recovery and don't get that I'm not interested in their drama.
Any advice would be appreciated. I feel like if there is a devil, he's throwing his whole army at me
Please help.
I moved into a not so great neighborhood.
I have trouble dealing with overly friendly people who can't take "No" for an answer.
They are not healed, they are not in recovery and don't get that I'm not interested in their drama.
Any advice would be appreciated. I feel like if there is a devil, he's throwing his whole army at me
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,657
Say no. If you give others stuff- they will use you. They will manipulate. lie and steal. This happened to me repeatedly last year. Find a safe place- try, ask - enquire to find somewhere.. Keep your door locked at all times- do not allow others to see your stuff or share personal info. Get f-f support, go to AA. See a doctor. Get medical help to detox. Do not drink. See a therapist. Go to a hospital. Do not take risks. Do not drink. Make sure you eat and drink water and shower. Do not give in to others drinking to fit in. Share/post/pray.
Prayers.
Prayers.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Wow, Phoenix J pretty much nailed it!
Everything I did at the beginning had one sole purpose: to be sober. I was VERY sick and had to just begin to get well. It might seem extreme to stay at home by yourself, for example, but to any lengths is what I did to get sober. Now, I am comfortable in the world; I still pick and choose what I do and with whom I spend my time.
Ruthless - that's what you have to be to fight this disease and win each day.
Hope to see you around- have you looked into the Class of January 2017 group? People who quit/want to quit this month collect in a monthly thread. I have gotten to know my Feb 2016 group well and they are a great source of support!!!
Everything I did at the beginning had one sole purpose: to be sober. I was VERY sick and had to just begin to get well. It might seem extreme to stay at home by yourself, for example, but to any lengths is what I did to get sober. Now, I am comfortable in the world; I still pick and choose what I do and with whom I spend my time.
Ruthless - that's what you have to be to fight this disease and win each day.
Hope to see you around- have you looked into the Class of January 2017 group? People who quit/want to quit this month collect in a monthly thread. I have gotten to know my Feb 2016 group well and they are a great source of support!!!
totfit
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Ft Collins, CO
Posts: 1,273
Know without a shadow of a doubt that alcohol will do nothing for you and everything to you. Take steps forward and concentrate on living and doing the next right thing. Eat a well balanced diet and get pleeenty of exercise. Other things will get clearer along the path and you can more readily deal with them after healing a bit. Start with healing. The number one requirement would be not adding alcohol.
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Sassy,
2 week binge...i imagine all day drinking. I remember a few dyas like that, but never 2 weeks straight.
You are a very strong person to pull that off.
However, now you are heavily toxified.
Be ready for serious discomfort...body and mind.
You sound like you are on your own.
Sober routine is what I offer.
From dawn to dusk. A flow of events that do not involve booze.
Hydration, rest, quality food. Repeat for about a month.
The mental damage will take a long long time to heal. That is why many relapse over and over.
When you start to feel like everything is ok...you can drink again..that is when the mental battle begins.
Thanks.
2 week binge...i imagine all day drinking. I remember a few dyas like that, but never 2 weeks straight.
You are a very strong person to pull that off.
However, now you are heavily toxified.
Be ready for serious discomfort...body and mind.
You sound like you are on your own.
Sober routine is what I offer.
From dawn to dusk. A flow of events that do not involve booze.
Hydration, rest, quality food. Repeat for about a month.
The mental damage will take a long long time to heal. That is why many relapse over and over.
When you start to feel like everything is ok...you can drink again..that is when the mental battle begins.
Thanks.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 38
Thank you all.
I'm so triggered. I began drinking to begin with because I didn't how to define myself, set limits and not people please. Always afraid of abandonment.
Others and their expectations are triggers. Then I drink to ease pressure. Wash, rinse, repeat.
I'm so triggered. I began drinking to begin with because I didn't how to define myself, set limits and not people please. Always afraid of abandonment.
Others and their expectations are triggers. Then I drink to ease pressure. Wash, rinse, repeat.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
The thing is you can deal - but you'll never know that if you cut and run and buy that 6 pack.
No was very hard for me at first too - I felt physically ill..but it got better and easier the more times I said it
You can deal with this - but you're not alone either
D
No was very hard for me at first too - I felt physically ill..but it got better and easier the more times I said it
You can deal with this - but you're not alone either
D
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: New Orleans, LA
Posts: 985
When I drink, my boundaries have the consistency of applesauce.
When I am sober, they are made of metal (ok, sometimes a homey wood).
It is very unsettling to live in a rough neighborhood. Personally, I have an excellent dog who is secretly gentle, but appears to be ferocious around creepy people. It has helped considerably.
He builds boundaries for me, & I build them for him in return...
When I am sober, they are made of metal (ok, sometimes a homey wood).
It is very unsettling to live in a rough neighborhood. Personally, I have an excellent dog who is secretly gentle, but appears to be ferocious around creepy people. It has helped considerably.
He builds boundaries for me, & I build them for him in return...
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: New Orleans, LA
Posts: 985
Consider going to AA or NA (or Alanon if that fits).
Having a community of people who want us to be well & safe makes a giant difference. If you have weak boundaries, I advise sticking with women in the program (I have the impression you're a woman, but my iPhone is acting up, & I can't check your "about me" simultaneous to posting - if you're a fella, forgive the guess!).
Many folks coming into AA or NA haven't yet developed clear boundaries, so early relationships can be messy & actually destabilize you. I really enjoy women's meetings (many places have at least one all women's meeting weekly). I feel very safe in those, and have made a couple of really special friends.
Often, since many of us are "getting back on our feet" we live in somewhat crappy neighborhoods in our early sobriety. I have had women friends from AA who insist that I text them once I'm home safely, door locked, and they do the same. Just knowing that there is a human out there who is paying attention to whether you get home safely makes you feel about 1000x safer!
Life is scary. That's why as human animals our tendency is not to move through life utterly alone. If we need a "pack" to feel safe, then let's do the job of choosing the people in that "pack" intentionally, because they help us to feel (& be) safer!
Having a community of people who want us to be well & safe makes a giant difference. If you have weak boundaries, I advise sticking with women in the program (I have the impression you're a woman, but my iPhone is acting up, & I can't check your "about me" simultaneous to posting - if you're a fella, forgive the guess!).
Many folks coming into AA or NA haven't yet developed clear boundaries, so early relationships can be messy & actually destabilize you. I really enjoy women's meetings (many places have at least one all women's meeting weekly). I feel very safe in those, and have made a couple of really special friends.
Often, since many of us are "getting back on our feet" we live in somewhat crappy neighborhoods in our early sobriety. I have had women friends from AA who insist that I text them once I'm home safely, door locked, and they do the same. Just knowing that there is a human out there who is paying attention to whether you get home safely makes you feel about 1000x safer!
Life is scary. That's why as human animals our tendency is not to move through life utterly alone. If we need a "pack" to feel safe, then let's do the job of choosing the people in that "pack" intentionally, because they help us to feel (& be) safer!
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