Letskickthis

Hi- This site is great! I need to stop drinking. How on earth did I ever let my drinking get to this point? I'm a strong, intelligent, funny 41 year old woman. I have 3 boys, single mom, who works from home. I usually don't start drinking until later in the day, but, go through my phases where I'll start drinking during the day because, well, I work from home and can. How much I drink depends. Sometimes it's a bottle of wine, sometimes it's shots of vodka or tequila (anywhere from a small bottle to a 375 ml). Almost everyday. Then I'll make it a point to stop for a few days, and will, but somehow go right back to it😔. Only my fiancé really knows how much I drink but he's a heavier drinker than me and seems to not really think it's a problem. He does not like the day drinking thing for obvious reasons. I drink because I'm always stressed out- it's either the kids, money, stressful day at work and it calms my anxiety. The hardest part for me is that my anxiety is soooo much worse after I drink so I drink the next day to "ease the anxiety". Anyway, I'm ready to do this. Anybody else drink to cut Theo anxiety levels? I feel better knowing I'm not alone!

tomls

You are definitely not alone! You would not believe how many of us are just like you only different! You've come to the right place! Keep posting and reading. Welcome to SR. Tom

Mentium

A very familiar pattern to mine - drinking followed by anxiety followed by drinking to ease the anxiety...and you know where that is going, right?

Welcome! Lots of support here - I know because it has helped me enormously!

ljc267

That was an issue for me before I quit. It's a vicous cycle.

gettingsmarter

Hi Letskickthis

Letskickthis

Thank you all! I have known for awhile I probably have a problem. Any good advice on stopping? When I don't drink for a few days, I actually feel great! Then the cycle just starts all over again. Ughhh

ljc267

for me. I woke up Oct 12 and had enough. I knew if I didn't quit that day I may never, so I did. It really wasn't any more complicated then that. Now after that was no picnic, but I have improved slowly but surely every day/week/month. It's not easy I'm not going to lie, but it is well worth it and doable.

january161992

welcome

Letskickthis

I love reading everyone's stories. It makes me feel like I can do this. I can't believe this is harder than I thought though.

daisy1

I was like you a few years ago, believe me it progresses. If you can manage a few days without then you aren't at the stage of the physical dependency where you have to drink as soon as you wake up. As you can see I joined in 2010 and I was about at your stage at that point. I won't bore you with the details but I've been very ill, risked my job, lived in squalor and upset my family.
You seem very open to help and seem to want to stop, I was a bit more stubborn about how bad I was getting. It sounds like you have a lot of very good reasons to want to stop while you are able to. Good luck :-)

Michael66

I was similar but a bit different. It wasn't so much anxiety but I used alcohol to calm the brain - to stop it whirring round and round and round while getting nowhere. It became part of every day - I could only relax with alcohol at the end of every day. But of course, like many of us here, I over-shot the 'calming' mark almost every time. It's great to hear that you're really up for this Letskickthis. Hop on board the SR wagon

Poppy79

Hello
I think a person has to be truly ready to stop, for years I would stop sporadically (like you) only for my drinking to get progressively worse. I knew I had a big problem for about 7 years but I kept trying to convince myself that I could moderate. Being in Australia the culture here is booze, booze and more booze. I felt like a failure that I couldn't drink like 'normal' people and then angry that I couldn't.
It wasn't until last November that I finally decided to get professional help to stop (couldn't string 2 clean days together). 3 weeks in rehab changed my life.
It doesn't sound like you are as far down the rabbit hole as I was so my suggestion would be to remove all alcohol from your house and pop onto this site whenever you feel the urge to drink.
Nip it in the bud now and avoid the misery that will most definitely ensue if you keep on drinking

Letskickthis

I'm not going to lie, I drank too much yesterday and feel like total crap today I just worked out to try to get some toxins out but damn, I'm jittery. I can't wait to get past the next few days. I know it's only the beginning, but I'm excited. How did you all quit? I was trying to find those stories on the forums but couldn't find any. Cold turkey? Meds?

hodor

I was very much the same at first, drinking to stop the anxiety. By the end I found I wasn't even able to attend any social functions without topping up beforehand, to the point I could only meet my friends after drinking a bottle of wine.
It really got bad when I didn't realise why I was even drinking any more. It was just a complete cycle, wake up, pop pain killers to get rid of the hangover, either drink the leftovers from the cask or wait until the bottleo opened again and start again.
I didn't notice the anxiety so much by the end because I was drunk almost around the clock. It soon became apparent after I stopped.
AA found me, by accident really. One of my brainwaves to try and stop drinking was to try a meditation class and it turned out it was a 12 step program. They suggested looking up AA meetings in my area and I found one nightly within walking distance of my house. I haven't looked back
My experience with meds wasn't positive, mostly because I was self medicating. Some of my other posts talk about my antics here.
The AA literature says 'we thought we could find an easier, softer way, but we could not'. That was completely true for me, either trying every combination of things to stop my drinking, or once I had stopped, trying every combination of things both legal and illegal to make it easier.
It does get easier, meetings really helped for me in the early days, also going for walks, meditating and listening to youtube recovery speakers. The cravings and jitteriness passes but it was so useful for me to have some outside support from people I'd met through AA.
Hope this can be of use to you. If I can stay sober then I have total faith you can do it too You owe it to yourself to get that anchor from around your neck and be the best person you can be! Feel free to PM me if you need any support.

entropy1964

Welcome. Yeah I drank to ease anxiety for sure....buuut if I'm completely honest I drank because I like getting drunk. I learned over time that it solved other problems...until it starting causing them all. Including making my anxiety far worse than it is in recovery.

So honesty is really important....I'm an alcoholic and I like getting drunk. Period. Life happens, to everyone, but not everyone guzzles booze because of it.

You definitely can do this!

Hevyn

Hi Letskick. It's so good to meet you.

At 41 I was still trying to use willpower to control myself. Drinking had once been fun & calming (or so I thought). But - my life was falling apart - I'd been drinking 20 yrs. As miserable as it was making me, I couldn't imagine being without it. As a result, I continued drinking for many more years - until I was completely dependent on it & drinking every day. By that time I had successfully destroyed my life and lost everything that mattered. This won't be you! You can get free.

Chifan7

I certainly drank to quell the anxiety and would wake up feeling even worse. It really is a vicious cycle. Have tried to quit ( sort of) many times. Something clicked this time, I was truly ready to stop. 26 days and feeling better every day. So worth it. Welcome to SR!!

Zebra1275

Welcome to SR!

Dee74

Hi and welcome letskickthis - I was another one who drank for anxiety initially but gradually any problem became a ready excuse to drink.

It's hard to change those associations but it really can be done - you'll find a lot of support here

D

Scruffanie

Welcome to SR Letskickthis,

Yep, I can totally relate. Drank to quell anxiety, caused more anxiety, drank some more. It became a monotonous, dangerous spiral for me. I also drank to shut my head up - by the end just breathing was reason enough to drink for me.

I chose AA as my recovery program and it is working very well for me (50 days sober) but there are many other programs and plans you can adopt to help you get and stay sober.

Stick around here, there is much support, compassion and experience.

I wish you the very best in your sober journey.

Scruff