A Reminder to Myself: Post While Positive.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 418
A Reminder to Myself: Post While Positive.
Today is Australia Day down under and coincidentally, the same day I gave up drinking 2 years ago.
At that stage I was feeling like a lot of people who post on this board - sick and defeated.
Up to that point I had used any money I made to get drunk or high and just existed to consume substances which shifted me out of reality.
I felt like a horrible human being - an animal.
The decision was made after a days-long binge on spiced rum and sleep, that I needed to change.
At first I was excited to get a week with no drinking and then a month - I would count every day as a success. Taking my medication and checking SR for posts and posting myself.
Time went by and I was just concentrating on getting better. That was enough to deal with for a while. After a few months of abstaining, I realised that I needed to do something else - hobbies. Idle time can be a killer and was, many a time, for my sobriety in previous attempts to quit drinking.
In May of 2015 I started a business. Just buying stuff cheap and selling it on Ebay or Amazon. Nice and simple - like a game. But I enjoyed it and now that I wasn't buying booze every day, I had some spare money to use.
My personality is addictive and I made use of that to get stuck into the world of "flipping". Pretty common in the USA but not so much here in Australia.
It was my new addiction. One which didn't leave me with a mouth tasting like an ash-tray and rushing to the toilet to vomit, only to find that I had only bile to dredge up from my pulverised innards. In fact - waking up and hearing the "CHA-CHING!" of the Ebay app telling me that I'd made some money was (and is) a good start to the day.
As I said before - I'd wasted money on utter garbage for the last 20 years. The goal with this flipping thing was to make up for lost time - Money wise. As a nearly 40 year old adult, I am not proud to say that I live with my parents.
So for the past year and a half I have managed to save enough money to save a deposit for a house. In fact - I put in an offer on a place a few days ago and am waiting to hear back to see if I got it.
The job I have is okay, but after just existing for the past 20 years, I don't want to work for "the man". I want to make my own rules and my own money.
If I hadn't woken up 2 years ago feeling like utter hell-spawn, I would not have accomplished what I have in the last 2 years. So in a way - a very wry way - I am happy that I messed myself up so bad that I had that epiphany.
And now that I am feeling okay, I wanted to make this post to remind myself of why I did what I did, and as a note to myself in case I ever get so low that I want to drink.
This post doesn't contain all the horrible things which happened because of my drinking. Just the transformation from horror to honour.
If you're new to the board and your insides feel as if they've been through a wheat thresher, your mouth is dry, your liver inflamed and you feel like a failure - Just know that being here is the first step to a better life.
At that stage I was feeling like a lot of people who post on this board - sick and defeated.
Up to that point I had used any money I made to get drunk or high and just existed to consume substances which shifted me out of reality.
I felt like a horrible human being - an animal.
The decision was made after a days-long binge on spiced rum and sleep, that I needed to change.
At first I was excited to get a week with no drinking and then a month - I would count every day as a success. Taking my medication and checking SR for posts and posting myself.
Time went by and I was just concentrating on getting better. That was enough to deal with for a while. After a few months of abstaining, I realised that I needed to do something else - hobbies. Idle time can be a killer and was, many a time, for my sobriety in previous attempts to quit drinking.
In May of 2015 I started a business. Just buying stuff cheap and selling it on Ebay or Amazon. Nice and simple - like a game. But I enjoyed it and now that I wasn't buying booze every day, I had some spare money to use.
My personality is addictive and I made use of that to get stuck into the world of "flipping". Pretty common in the USA but not so much here in Australia.
It was my new addiction. One which didn't leave me with a mouth tasting like an ash-tray and rushing to the toilet to vomit, only to find that I had only bile to dredge up from my pulverised innards. In fact - waking up and hearing the "CHA-CHING!" of the Ebay app telling me that I'd made some money was (and is) a good start to the day.
As I said before - I'd wasted money on utter garbage for the last 20 years. The goal with this flipping thing was to make up for lost time - Money wise. As a nearly 40 year old adult, I am not proud to say that I live with my parents.
So for the past year and a half I have managed to save enough money to save a deposit for a house. In fact - I put in an offer on a place a few days ago and am waiting to hear back to see if I got it.
The job I have is okay, but after just existing for the past 20 years, I don't want to work for "the man". I want to make my own rules and my own money.
If I hadn't woken up 2 years ago feeling like utter hell-spawn, I would not have accomplished what I have in the last 2 years. So in a way - a very wry way - I am happy that I messed myself up so bad that I had that epiphany.
And now that I am feeling okay, I wanted to make this post to remind myself of why I did what I did, and as a note to myself in case I ever get so low that I want to drink.
This post doesn't contain all the horrible things which happened because of my drinking. Just the transformation from horror to honour.
If you're new to the board and your insides feel as if they've been through a wheat thresher, your mouth is dry, your liver inflamed and you feel like a failure - Just know that being here is the first step to a better life.
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,200
Awesome post DrunkenDonuts, I joined SR about the same time as you and I remember how down you were at the time.
It is fantastic that you are moving into your own home and that you are running a profitable business. Tangible evidence of success is a great advert for sobriety.
Glad you are still posting
It is fantastic that you are moving into your own home and that you are running a profitable business. Tangible evidence of success is a great advert for sobriety.
Glad you are still posting
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: OZ
Posts: 2,055
Congratulations, 2 years is wonderful. I share your addictive personality and think what you have done is a fabulous way to not only make a quid but also put to good use what you are good at.
I have to say you have got me thinking as I am feeling so burnt out in my current career
I have to say you have got me thinking as I am feeling so burnt out in my current career
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