Jfire

I'm 36 and have a brother 3 years younger who is suffering from long term depression

The constant tension being around him like I feel his energy
Trying to communicate is impossible.

Asking how did therapy help why did you leave responded to by "mind your own business"

I messaged him today saying I brought his facecloth away with me and how are you greeted with sarcasm ... "my facecloth big emergency everything is great"........... then nothing.

I'm sure I was the only person who asked how he was this week and that is his response and he gets angry at the fact he has no friends

I try and it breaks my heart , we spent a lot of time together at Christmas , I drove him to my aunts for dinner and engaged him.
All I got was moans , complaints , bickerings about the past, and zero communication from him.

I asked him gently , " you feel you have some hope?"

His Psychiatrist ( 2 years ago ) Quit working with him as he wouldn't comply with suggestions or alternate courses of therapy

I gently pointed out that everyone has a cross to bear and gave examples of people we both knew .... Example a young local doctor with a promising future and Fiance who died suddenly resulting him being rendered on his parents couch for 2 years.

Sorry maybe I am ranting , he is on mirap , lyrica but eats rubbish , stares at some screen all day , goes for beers once a fortnight and complains about the atmosphere of the pub and people....

I could go on and on and on , Sorry guys .......... I am recovering alcoholic ( 1 year5 months with my own **** storm at the moment.

To simplify , do I just give up , what can i do , his message response today was a sarcastic bitter angry **** you

Okay I'm done

Hope everyone okay out there

AdelineRose

Unfortunately, just like with addiction the person has to take the lead. Once he is actively trying to work towards a system under the care of a doctor then being supportive can make a big difference (showing him his family is behind him). Until he reaches out and tries to work towards alleviating himself of his depression there is nothing you can really do. I know it kills you, but it is up to him to reach out for help.

I am bipolar type 2, depression and anxiety and I went untreated for a very long time. No one could force me to reach out, in actually made me pull away further when family members started to try to push me into something I was in denial of.

Jfire

Thank you so Much Adeline !

Wolf_22

Take my input lightly but if I were you, I'd consider giving myself some distance from him. I suggest this not because you're trying to abandon him but rather, to let him have time to sort his issues out on his own because to me, it sounds like he might need that if he's defensive or aggressive when you ask about his situations. What I bet will happen from this is that he'll break down one night and come to you to either vent or ask for guidance / love. If this ever happens, that will be your opportunity to reach him. It will be then in that moment that you turn on that big brother switch and project your caring love that you've been trying to throw his way.

Be patient. People with severe depression are very difficult to deal with sometimes because every avenue in their mind leads to a dead-end, which is why it's such a vile disposition to be in. As painful as it might be for those that love them, sometimes the best medicine is the act of providing them with enough distance to allow them to grow and find themselves, but make no mistake, be there when they fall--because they will fall--and when they do, that's the best time to help them understand that mistakes and failures never need to be permanent or perpetual. That's how you can change the game.

Jfire

Not taking your input lightly Wolf , thankyou

I do give distance for my own sanity , his mind is very much in a dead end as you mentioned ,

I'll be patient and wait for the fall

Thanks again

you can feel so powerless and confused as to aiding the depressed person it sux

Jfire

Ya Im a mute in company dont have your master social skills, I dont have my initals on a face cloth and wouldnt get upset over it, could have had some help with my problems as early on as 15 and I wouldnt have been depressed for 18 ******* years when you had people bringing deserts to the house with your drinking and your problems.

Jfire

Well I wouldnt be in this ******* situation at 34 would I?, only lost what were supposed to be my best care free years of been happy and getting girls like every other guy, ya I dont need a depression support group thanks.