AlaskaGirl

This morning as I was getting ready for work I was thinking about everything I’m learning about AVRT and Rational Recovery.
Out of the blue I was attacked.

My AV asked me “What will you do if (husband) dies?” This question by itself didn’t shake me. What did was the realization that my Beast was excited by the idea.

How vile. My husband is my soul mate. The realization that my Beast would rather see me lose him than stay sober crystallizes things for me in a way nothing else has.

Like a parasite that kills its host, my Beast would gleefully watch me drink myself to death.

So I restate my unshakable commitment. There is no scenario that will lead to me drinking again. Nothing. I do not drink. I will never change my mind.

F*%k you Beast. You have no power over me.

manama

Good for you AlaskaGirl, your the strongest and your gonna win.

PhoenixJ

Marcus

No reservations as they say. My mind has conjured up some pretty sick ideas and scenarios over the years. Good for you for recognizing it for what it is.

tursiops999

I had similar thoughts after making my BP. Imagining my husband dying, or me getting cancer, and the beast suggesting that then I would be justified in drinking. It's creepy, but on the other hand it's so obvious, and it brings the beast into high relief for easy recognition!

Algorithm

This style of Beast thinking is covered later in the book. Jack Trimpey likens the Beast to a sinister, ruthless potential, as opposed to an innocent creature. He describes a couple of macabre scenarios, including one of his own.

See "How Rotten Can the Beast Be?" in Chapter 13 of RR: TNC, on pages 191-193.

It certainly would, but the Beast is not actually trying to kill you, as they claim in some recovery groups. It doesn't even understand that it would also die along with its host. The Beast is simply trying to survive, and IT views alcohol as essential to survival as oxygen.

Most people would probably cause grievous injury to someone who was cutting off their oxygen supply, in order to ensure their own survival. This is essentially what the Beast feels it is up against when deprived of alcohol, and it makes its calculus accordingly.

AlaskaGirl

Algorithm, thank you once again. I need to get back to the book, I've been spending my spare time on here reading. Once I get through it I'll be better able to discuss here

MesaMan

There comes a time when the Event, or the degree of the Life Stressor, doesn't matter because it doesn't affect the outcome of the 'To Drink, Or Not To Drink' question.

This comes by experiencing repeated Life Events in which you simply do not drink. Those Events accumulate; become the Norm; and seem unexceptional. You can't prevail in an imagined Fight when there isn't a Fight to show up to after the desire to drink to evaporates from dis-use. As it has for many of us. This occurs when new Coping Strategies become the Norm over time, and you reinforce those Coping Strategies from within.

At that point, the thought to drink becomes weird and unfamiliar. Like some Childhood Ritual you did, and simply don't do any more.

brynn

Excellent point Mesa!

The more stuff we experience, and get through, sober the more normal it becomes. I hear people say if you only had a week to live THEN would you drink? My answer...HELL NO! Why would I waste a even a second of my limited time drunk and unable to appreciate the people and places I love??

After a while it simply becomes a non factor. I'll never drink again and I'll never change my mind isn't just a positive mantra that I chant ritualistically in order to 'will' myself into staying quit. It's who I am...I'm a non drinker and life is good!! Xo

Ustacallmelola

I was at the grocery store yesterday during the time they have wine tasting in the wine section. I used to love that. My beast reared its ugly head when I walked by it. I even let myself entertain the idea for a moment.

Nope. Not ever. I do not have an off switch after the first drink.

CelticZebra

Beast is sneaky, trying to change pronouns and get me to do what it wants....
No hope there beastie, you can't even move my little finger ��
I checked up on the part highlighted by algorithm in the book and liked this:
Beast says "you need a little dope to cope."
"AVRT helps to understand that grief is coping with loss, and to drug your grief is to deny your love. You may then love fearlessly and grieve intensely as an expression of your love."
- Rational Recovery:the new cure for substance addiction by Jack Trimpey, 1996 (pg 193)

The brain needs R&R from toxic substances, imo, BEFORE the finer points of actually [I]feeling[I] difficult emotions such as grief or love can be tackled within the mind.

The AV is just a thought and thoughts CANNOT harm you or me or any other human. It's not the thought that matters, it's the action or inertia that comes next

Great thread