Step 1
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 81
Step 1
Hi guys,
I know there's alot of secular based recovery programs out there and people on this forum that are a part of them, but I actually believe I've had a spiritual experience I haven't had before that I would like to share.
I've admitted I was an alcoholic for a long time, even moving on to the next steps (falsley) only to fail the program yet again. Right now I have 6 days sobriety in and something happened that I haven't experienced in my other AA attempts. Sure, I would 'pick' a higher power, but never surrendered to it.
The other day I actually prayed, and asked God to take my will and make it his own. As soon as I let go, everything started working properly. I could look people in the eye again, and everything about my disease started to make sense! I'm not saying I'm even close to understanding the full program but I now understand how powerful it is. It works...if you let it. I now actually believe that I've lost the power of choice over alcohol. I WILL drink again if action in me isn't taken along with maintenance.
I've always hated the fact that I'm an alcoholic, but for the first time I feel GRATEFUL to be an alcoholic. If sobriety means more days like the one I had will come, then holy **** am I ever on board.
What an epiphany!
Thank you
I know there's alot of secular based recovery programs out there and people on this forum that are a part of them, but I actually believe I've had a spiritual experience I haven't had before that I would like to share.
I've admitted I was an alcoholic for a long time, even moving on to the next steps (falsley) only to fail the program yet again. Right now I have 6 days sobriety in and something happened that I haven't experienced in my other AA attempts. Sure, I would 'pick' a higher power, but never surrendered to it.
The other day I actually prayed, and asked God to take my will and make it his own. As soon as I let go, everything started working properly. I could look people in the eye again, and everything about my disease started to make sense! I'm not saying I'm even close to understanding the full program but I now understand how powerful it is. It works...if you let it. I now actually believe that I've lost the power of choice over alcohol. I WILL drink again if action in me isn't taken along with maintenance.
I've always hated the fact that I'm an alcoholic, but for the first time I feel GRATEFUL to be an alcoholic. If sobriety means more days like the one I had will come, then holy **** am I ever on board.
What an epiphany!
Thank you
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 32
Well I typed out a long response on my phone the lost it. But I agree, turn it over to God's will. Self will run riot, the big book page 62.
Self Will is the willfulness that comes from our lowest drives, the ones that seek pleasure, seek to avoid or deny pain, and generally keep us from the harder but far more rewarding things that God’s Will, our highest will, wants. We give in to self will all the time – when we opt for an easy meal of fast food instead of cooking ourselves something more healthful, when we put ourselves in triggering situations. sabotaging our recovery efforts we are listening to Self Will.
What we have is a temporary reprieve contingent on our spiritual condition.
Self Will is the willfulness that comes from our lowest drives, the ones that seek pleasure, seek to avoid or deny pain, and generally keep us from the harder but far more rewarding things that God’s Will, our highest will, wants. We give in to self will all the time – when we opt for an easy meal of fast food instead of cooking ourselves something more healthful, when we put ourselves in triggering situations. sabotaging our recovery efforts we are listening to Self Will.
What we have is a temporary reprieve contingent on our spiritual condition.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 81
Thats similar to what I had heard on one of the AA recordings, that alcoholics have a void in them that needs to be filled, if we don't fill that void with something higher than ourselves (i.e. the program), then we will fill it with booze and ultimately self-ruin. But all we are searching for in the first place is a spiritual experience. We aren't looking to get loaded all the time because we want all the self-ruin, but only because something is missing in us and we try to replace it.
Thank you for your response!
Thank you for your response!
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
My experience continues to be more of the educational variety. Never had the white light experience as Bill W describes. The challenge over time for me has been the understanding that I can't remain on the mountain top all the time. Life is lived in the valleys - it is there where the battles are fought I truly learned how to surrender to my vast imperfections.
A book entitled The Spirituality of Imperfection really helped me understand some universal truths. I have secular friends who I consider to be very spiritual in their nature.
Gratitude will carry many of us a long way - I am especially grateful for what hasn't happened and what I don't have many times.
A book entitled The Spirituality of Imperfection really helped me understand some universal truths. I have secular friends who I consider to be very spiritual in their nature.
Gratitude will carry many of us a long way - I am especially grateful for what hasn't happened and what I don't have many times.
Whatever it takes - just for today.
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Canberra, Australia
Posts: 200
Hi Kyng,
I also had a spiritual awakening. It happened the night before my first meeting. In tears and drunk, I said out loud 'somebody please help me, I can't do this anymore!'
The next day I was driven by a force outside of myself to go to AA and my urge to drink was completely gone.
I am at 47 days today and although I have the odd 'memory' of drinking at certain times, I have not craved.
I began praying on my second day sober and continue to do so each day.
I am still very vigilant of this disease, but I follow the AA program without question.
I'm so glad you have a had this experience
for me, it makes the journey into recovery so much easier. I have found peace in surrender.
I also had a spiritual awakening. It happened the night before my first meeting. In tears and drunk, I said out loud 'somebody please help me, I can't do this anymore!'
The next day I was driven by a force outside of myself to go to AA and my urge to drink was completely gone.
I am at 47 days today and although I have the odd 'memory' of drinking at certain times, I have not craved.
I began praying on my second day sober and continue to do so each day.
I am still very vigilant of this disease, but I follow the AA program without question.
I'm so glad you have a had this experience
for me, it makes the journey into recovery so much easier. I have found peace in surrender.
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