MavisTheFairyAg

Hi all, had to re register so sorry i couldnt reply to messages. Havent managed to stop drinking since i did the dryathlon in January 2016 and stresses at home are now far worse. My worry is how to deal with the stress without it. I have a disabled child with very challenging behaviours and hardly any sleep, a grown up child who has ptsd and is struggling and me and my hubby at breaking point. How do you cope with extreme stress? I feel like im living in a pressure cooker.

Berrybean

Let's look at it this way. If alcohol really worked as a stress reliever, then you wouldn't feel at breaking point now. You'd be happily drinking and stress free.

The first thing is accepting that alcohol is not the solution that our AVs (addict voices) tell us it is. It is a depressant and part of the problem. We are much more able to be emotionally present and proactive in helping our loved ones who need us once sober and working a program of recovery.

I managed to do a couple of the Sober October / Dry January malarkey things, then couldn't. I think they just helped me to convince myself I wasn't an alcoholic because I managed to hang in there for those dry spells. Thing is, what I didn't realise was that 'normal' drinkers would have just spent that month doing other stuff, not alternating between resentful that I couldn't drink and fantasising about what I'd drink and where as soon as the month was up.

Working a plan of recovery is all about relearning how to deal with emotions and stressor and daily existence once alcohol has been removed from our lives. I am an AAer, and the 12-step recovery program only even mentions alcohol in step 1. Every other step is about learning how to Live Sober. It equips us with the personal resources to deal with life on life's terms.

If you haven't had a chance to read through the links on Dee's thread about making a plan then this might be a good start....

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...y-plans.1.html

But any plan is only as good as the actions we take on the back of it.

Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery. BB

Dee74

Welcome back Mavis

I know someone once suggested support groups for parents of disabled kids - did you ever manage to find one, online or not? I think that would be a great help.

I think there are a lot of healthier ways to deal with stress and fear and anxiety - I've collected quite a few links here:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...f-respite.html

D

Treerat66

Hi Mavis, welcome back.

PurpleKnight

Welcome back Mavis!!

Anna

Hi Mavis,

I am sure you will be better able to cope when you are sober. Dee's link has lots of good info so hopefully it will be helpful to you.

saoutchik

Welcome back Mavis.

Your situation does sound tough, is there anyway for you to get some help even if it is for only a day a week that would at least give you and your husband a break

SoberLeigh

Hi, Mavis; welcome back.

I am so sorry to hear that you are facing such difficult challenges; as Beccy mentioned, alcohol isn't helping you meet those challenges. The links provided by Dee and Beccybean are fantastic and very well worth the read.

Hope that you can find some face-to-face support. Always remember, too, that you will find an open mind, a listening ear and a warm heart here; lean on us.

aasharon90

There is an abundant amount of knowledge
available about addiction here online, lots
of ESH - experiences, strengths and hopes
to be shared to all who have the willingness
and openminded to receiving it, learning about
it, absorbing it and applying it towards achieving
freedom from addiction and becoming
successful in recovery and life.

No one is ever left by the waste side to
fend for themselves or have to figure
out to remain sober by themselves alone
or by themselves.

Welcome and keep coming back as
we guide you to helping you build a
strong solid recovery foundation to
live upon one day at a time as you
strive to achieve health happiness,
honesty and freedom from your
addiction.

MavisTheFairyAg

Thank you all 😊 we get a few hours respite for my son but its not much, and hes up in the night every night so we are both constantly exhausted. I am in some support groups for parents of disabled children but i still feel incredibly isolated. It doesnt help that i struggle to get out on my own so am living like a hermit somewhat. Tonight ive had bottle of low alcohol beer (0.8 units) and there is now no alcohol in the house. I have a really good book and a plan, just worried about the stress and how to deal with it. My first step (other than not drinking) is to start eating proper meals and make sure im getting the right nutrition. So tomorrow is day 1, bring it on 😁

Delilah1

Hi Mavis,

Welcome back! Dee's link is a great one to get started again.

I did not have the same stresses as you, but I did use alcohol as my escape, however, the next day the issues were still there, and then I was trying to deal with them with a fuzzy head, and more anxiety than before.

Have you looked into counseling or support groups? It may be helpful as you start out on your recovery journey again.

Glad you are back.

❤️Delilah

AnvilheadII

you will make things a heckuva lot EASIER on yourself if don't drink!!! it's not helping, it's not alleviating the stress, it's just another burden for you, CREATING more stress.