Al31

Well I'm 31 and I have a problem with drinking.

I'm a barman though and I'm a manager now so I don't want to change my job as well.

I went 6 weeks without drinking before Christmas but after a while I start to convince myself I don't have a problem.

My friends aren't supportive of me quitting because we do have fun when drinking. I also have a digestive illness (UC) which is only made worse by alcohol!

I know I need to quit but it's just so hard, and AA isn't for me. I just need some will power. I don't drink every day and I don't drink on mornings, it's just when I do drink I can't stop!

ScottFromWI

Welcome to SR Al31. Sounds like you have the same problem almost all of us had: Drinking when we didn't plan on it, convincing ourselves we don't have a problem, not being able to stop once we start...all classic signs of alcoholism. The good news is you don't have to live like that, and many here have found a way to quit for good.

It won't be easy though, and you will need to make some big changes in your life to make it happen. That may very well include finding a different job or different people to spend your time with. The fact that your friends aren't supportive of you quitting tells me that they aren't really your friends anyway- they are probably just drinking buddies. Once alcohol is gone from your life there most likely won't be anything you have in common anyway. And while you may not want to find another job or have the ability to do so, you might want to at least consider it. Being around alcohol all day or night is not very conducive to staying sober.

AA is one of many recovery programs out there. It may "not be for you" but most recovery programs will require you to do things you don't want to do. Here's a great link that describes a lot of the different recovery programs/plans and how people have gone about it...definitely worth a read.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

Mountainmanbob

Most alcoholics have that same problem although, not sure if you are alcoholic?

You will probably feel better if you stop drinking.

M-Bob

Anna

Welcome and I'm glad you found us. Many of us have to make big changes in our lives in order to support our recovery. Hopefully you will be able to stay sober and keep your job, but it's not unusual to have change friends and activities in early recovery. There are many ways to recover and I hope you check out the link Scott posted which has lots of ideas as to how to stop drinking.

dwtbd

When I first stumbled on SR I saw mention of RR/AVRT , there are great threads on these ideas /perspectives here on SR in the Secular Connections forum.

Those ideas showed me how to recognize and separate from my Beast(the desire for alcohol) and its AV( any thoughts of future drinking, and any doubts that I couldn't maintain complete abstinence) and dismiss those thoughts without acting on them.

I recommend checking it out, and plan on being the first barman ever to quit( though first ever may not be true, but you should still 'go at it' like you're the first and only to do it, coz in a sense you are, you are the first you to quit , for good) If you google Rational Recovery , you can take the free crash course on its website, to get started.
Not 'being able' to stop when you start , means you 'become' all Beast when you add alcohol to 'you',so don't start ever again
wish you well and hope to see you around

Michael66

Hello. Welcome to SR!

How do feel about the idea of not drinking? Is it something you feel able to embrace in your current situation?

As fur friends, real friends will stay good friends without alcohol around. Drinking buddies will likely drift away.

August252015

Welcome. I am a server and almost 11 months sober. I work at the same restaurant where I had worked last year while still drinking and then went off the resto map til I went to them and asked for a job back. For me, it is a great situation- and there are others in recovery (including my boss) there with me. I don't hang it after work with the drinkers, take the occasional shot or drink others do during shifts, etc.

No drinking is my absolute rule.

If you are truly committed to this I believe you can work anywhere as we have to earn livings and be in the real world. That said, we have to be protective of our sobriety which might mean a temporary break from a drinking work envy is nexessary.

You can quit if you decide to- there is lots of support here and IRL. Best of luck.

Gottalife

AA wasn't for me either. One of the first things I tried was willpower. Give it a go. If it works and you have a happy life as a result that would be brilliant. If you end up miserable, or drinking again, then there are a range of other things you can try. Get away from those people that want you to drink, a new job, a new town, a new girlfriend, a self help book, join a gym, get a hobbies to distract you. You never know, a combination of these things may work.

If you reach a point where nothing has worked and you have run out of ideas, like I did, you might find AA looks a little more hopeful.

least

Welcome to the family. I hope our support can help you get sober for good. It takes some effort and changes, but is so worth it.

Al31

Thank you for your comments. I guess it might be time to think about a job change.... well I've got a lot to think about

thomas11

I've said this before but I'll say it again. Quit while its still a choice. Especially if you already have a health condition.

BringingBackB

I told myself this for a good few years. But when I really started to analyse what exactly was fun about it, I found that the vast majority of the time, I was miserable whilst drinking. If I was having fun, it was because the specific situation I was in was conducive to fun, e.g at a pub quiz. I'd still have been having fun without the drink, I just told myself I needed it in order to have fun. However by the end of the night I was in a stupor, which isn't fun at all.

Zebra1275

I don't drink every day and I don't drink on mornings,

At age 31, I didn't either. But alcoholism is progressive.

By age 41, I was doing these things.

theDipsomaniac

When fi rst challenged to admit defeat, most of us re-
volted. We had approached A.A. expecting to be taught
self-confi dence. Then we had been told that so far as al-
cohol is concerned, self-confi dence was no good whatever;
in fact, it was a total liability. Our sponsors declared that
we were the victims of a mental obsession so subtly No Amount Of HUMAN WILL POWER COULD BREAK it.
There was, they said, no such thing as the personal con-
quest of this compulsion by the unaided will. Relentlessly
deepening our dilemma, our sponsors pointed out our in-
creasing sensitivity to alcohol—an allergy, they called it.
The tyrant alcohol wielded a double-edged sword over us:
fi rst we were smitten by an insane urge that condemned
us to go on drinking, and then by an allergy of the body
that insured we would ultimately destroy ourselves in the
process. Few indeed were those who, so assailed, had ever
won through in singlehanded combat. It was a statistical
fact that alcoholics almost never recovered on their own
resources. And this had been true, apparently, ever since
man had fi rst crushed grapes.

Quote from
AA Big Book : Step one

DontRemember

That was me also. By 37 I knew I had a problem. By 39 it was sometimes morning drinking. 40 morning to bed basically.

Mklove

Health can take a very quick turn for the worse when the liver and drinking is involved . The great thing is that healing is also possible but the illnesses for not taking notice of warnings are horrible.

Dee74

Welcome

Willpower wasn't my problem.

Part of my will was to drink, and drink til I dropped - regardless of responsibilities, loved ones, career, or other day to day considerations.

Acceptance worked better for me - accepting that, after the first drink, I had no say in how long I might drink or where I ended up.

D