I Almost Died Last Night
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: Baltimore, MD
Posts: 1
I Almost Died Last Night
Hey all. I'm new to this forum.
I discovered in the last few weeks of 2016 that I was an alcoholic, and since then had been 2 weeks sober. It was difficult and I had a beer on one of those days but for the most part I was getting much better. I finally felt happy again.
Last night I relapsed badly. I saw an old friend of mine who has been having pretty bad drug trouble, with the hopes of reconnecting and hopefully seeing if I could help him. It wound up with me having about ten drinks in the course of three hours, ripping a bowl in his living room, and then falling off his couch and vomiting for what felt like years.
I threw up over and over, my entire body went limp, and what I can basically say is that I blacked out but remained semi-conscious. I couldn't move my body... I was laying on the floor completely limp , face-down and surrounded by barf. I tried picking myself up but I couldn't move. But I could feel myself shaking.
My friend started spraying some kind of ammonia to clean up the vomit, but the fumes from the ammonia started getting into my lungs until I was slowly drifting away. I could feel myself leaving my body, leaving the world. I felt so scared, as if this was truly the end. I have never felt such palpable fear of death. I knew that I was going to die, and I worried about my friend left with my dead body, and I worried about my family and how disappointed and upset they would be that I had relapsed. My vision was slowly fading, I felt as if my soul was leaving everything behind. There was a kind of "light in the tunnel" sensation, but it felt more like the flame of a candle slowly flickering out.
I somehow managed to get up, determined not to die in such a stupid way, begged Alex not to spray anymore ammonia because it was suffocating me, and eventually made it to the bathroom where I threw up some more. I somehow made it back to the sofa and fell asleep.
All day today I've been haunted by the near-death experience I had. I need to go to a meeting. I can't ever drink again, I'm done fooling myself into believing I can "have just one." I almost died last night, and I don't want it to ever happen again.
I discovered in the last few weeks of 2016 that I was an alcoholic, and since then had been 2 weeks sober. It was difficult and I had a beer on one of those days but for the most part I was getting much better. I finally felt happy again.
Last night I relapsed badly. I saw an old friend of mine who has been having pretty bad drug trouble, with the hopes of reconnecting and hopefully seeing if I could help him. It wound up with me having about ten drinks in the course of three hours, ripping a bowl in his living room, and then falling off his couch and vomiting for what felt like years.
I threw up over and over, my entire body went limp, and what I can basically say is that I blacked out but remained semi-conscious. I couldn't move my body... I was laying on the floor completely limp , face-down and surrounded by barf. I tried picking myself up but I couldn't move. But I could feel myself shaking.
My friend started spraying some kind of ammonia to clean up the vomit, but the fumes from the ammonia started getting into my lungs until I was slowly drifting away. I could feel myself leaving my body, leaving the world. I felt so scared, as if this was truly the end. I have never felt such palpable fear of death. I knew that I was going to die, and I worried about my friend left with my dead body, and I worried about my family and how disappointed and upset they would be that I had relapsed. My vision was slowly fading, I felt as if my soul was leaving everything behind. There was a kind of "light in the tunnel" sensation, but it felt more like the flame of a candle slowly flickering out.
I somehow managed to get up, determined not to die in such a stupid way, begged Alex not to spray anymore ammonia because it was suffocating me, and eventually made it to the bathroom where I threw up some more. I somehow made it back to the sofa and fell asleep.
All day today I've been haunted by the near-death experience I had. I need to go to a meeting. I can't ever drink again, I'm done fooling myself into believing I can "have just one." I almost died last night, and I don't want it to ever happen again.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Posts: 409
I have not had anything vivid as that happen that I can remember but so many mornings I have woken up thinking how did I survive?? Knowing one day I won't be so lucky. I have been sober over 6 months since the worst black out I've ever had. I go to meetings and they really help me. It took me awhile to get comfortable but it's better than the alternative. Do what you got to do but do not drink! Glad your safe for today 
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 106
You came to the right place. I've been drinking too much for too long myself and this website has really helped me over the past few weeks. Had a similar experience a few months ago and my wife called 911 and I was taken to the hospital by ambulance. Thought I was going to die.
Recently, I had been put on several different pills. That night I had an argument with my wife and drank more than usual, before popping the pills for blood pressure, etc. Didn't end well. Luckily, we live close to the hospital.
A couple more months went by and I kept drinking, but I eventually gave it up. Hopefully for good. Sounds like you've had a good experience to help motivate you to stay sober. Stay strong.
Recently, I had been put on several different pills. That night I had an argument with my wife and drank more than usual, before popping the pills for blood pressure, etc. Didn't end well. Luckily, we live close to the hospital.
A couple more months went by and I kept drinking, but I eventually gave it up. Hopefully for good. Sounds like you've had a good experience to help motivate you to stay sober. Stay strong.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,036
That is so scary, I am really glad you are okay. You will find lots of support in this site. If you haven't already joined the January class, you should. Also, you may want to think about some face to face support to help you.
I know it may be hard, but you may want to separate from friends who are drinking/using for a while.
Glad you are here.
I know it may be hard, but you may want to separate from friends who are drinking/using for a while.
Glad you are here.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
Yes, there's nothing that "focuses a man's mind so much" as the sense that he's about to die (to paraphrase the 18th Century Dr. Samuel Johnson). I had an experience similar to that in a hospital three years ago after a heart valve replacement and, having unbelievable seizures of pain due to an untreated bladder infection, called for a priest in the middle of the night since I believed I would die within the hour. I didn't die but it lingers in my mind. Little can compare with being alone and sensing that death may be very near. A bone like hand resting on one's shoulder with a message, "Come! It's time!"
W
W
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 5,453
I am glad you are okay! It can be really bad once there is no alcohol in your system and then you binge drink. It hits you a lot harder.
It's nice of you to want to help your friend but you'll have to take care of your own thing first. I distanced myself from people who smoked or drinked. I no longer go to their house where all the stuff is... I hate to be that way but I had to protect my sobriety. They probably think I am stuck up but they know where I live too.
It's nice of you to want to help your friend but you'll have to take care of your own thing first. I distanced myself from people who smoked or drinked. I no longer go to their house where all the stuff is... I hate to be that way but I had to protect my sobriety. They probably think I am stuck up but they know where I live too.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 732
Its not a strange reaction , my ex found me in a pool of blood and vomit and I couldn't walk for two days. My legs didn't work and I couldn't even turn over in bed, which is a bit bad when you are flat on your back vomiting. My ex had to carry me to the toilet and put me on it, talk about a new low 
I'm glad it happened though because I was taken to hospital and to be honest that's probably where you should have gone.
I hope you are a bit better now?
I'm glad it happened though because I was taken to hospital and to be honest that's probably where you should have gone.
I hope you are a bit better now?
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