Expanding

So I've been living with a friend since the summer and what an experience. I'm no doctor and would never attempt to diagnose someone with something but her moods swings and need for control are... alarming. She's been too concerned with what I'm doing and I quite frankly feel uncomfortable and just, watched. I know she talks to people about me when I've been nothing but silent, even though this whole experience has been unpleasant.

The way she talks to her husband is appalling. She freaks out over everything and is never happy. Busy at work? Sucks. Dead at work? Sucks. Invited to a bridal shower? Had to drive aaallll the way out to.... it just seems like it's every little thing. It's exhausting just hearing it. Lots of complaining, sighing, door slamming,.. it's so dysfunctional and it has been hard for me to admit that I went from one dysfunctional home to another. I close in two weeks and am counting down the days! Finally, I will be in a safe space. A space where I can truly be myself and not feel judged all the time. I never realized that's how I felt with the ex, and I'm sure at times that's how he felt with me when I tried to control his drinking.

I'll be running out of there screaming, it's just chaos and way too much energy is being spent on things that just don't really matter. I find it so creepy how... watched I feel. And I'm hardly ever home. I know she goes in the room when I'm not there. It's like I'm not another adult living with her but a child that needs to be monitored. It's way too much and I'll never, ever do this again with her

LexieCat

Glad you've got a new place to go.

Not everyone who's negative and a drama queen/king is diagnosable. Some people just have that kind of personality. It would drive me nuts, too. Chaos and negativity are two things that I won't tolerate for long.

Expanding

She actually told me she was diagnosed as bipolar... it's no joke and I'm not sure we can remain friends after this which makes me feel guilty

LexieCat

You're no more obligated to remain friends with her than you were obligated to stay with your alcoholic ex.

OTOH, maybe once you have your space again, you can stay friends with her. Apparently it didn't trouble you that much until you were actually sharing living space. I know I have plenty of friends I can take in small doses but would go INSANE if I had to live with them.

Maudcat

Hang in there, Expanding. I would self-soothe in these trying times with planning what I am going to do with my new space, what I am going to keep, let go, paint. What kind of window treatments--love those plantation shutters. They are so beachy looking and cool, but real dust catchers, I think. Ikea has some interesting window stuff, kinda mural-like.
Anyway, that's the kind of stuff that gives me joy and calms me. Good luck.