K66

Show up feeling great although I caved and had some wine last night because I couldn't sleep... Nothing like my Mickey of vodka I used to drink nightly... Woke up at 4 which is unheard of for me... Usually I'm dragging my ass out of bed 20 minutes before I have to leave for work with a ball cap on because I was too hungover to care to shower... And boom... Random drug and alcohol test... And I blow a reading which means I'm sent home... I signed a waver saying that if I refused or failed a test it means termination.... I now have a union in the workings so hopefully they can help me... I guess rehab is the only option to possibly save my job... If they even give me the option... I don't know what to do... A 9$ bottle of wine may cost me my job which is the highest paying job I've ever found... I'm so lost right now... I bawled to my supervisor and the man who has been hounding me didn't even have the balls to show his face.... I don't know what I'm going to do... Why am I so weak

Munchkin94

I wish I had something I could say or do to make this all better for you. My company does random drug tests which has never concerned me since alcohol was my DOC. Had they done alcohol tests they never would have hired me.

All I can give you is a virtual hug and tell you I will be praying for you...

sg1970

Rehab sounds like a great idea.

Solarion

Well, K66, this is just reality agreeing with you that you have a problem and something needs to be done about it. Maybe someday you will be grateful for this kick in the pants.

From the employer's point of view they had someone dragging in to work, unwashed, stinking of hangover for quite some time, so there's some history behind this. Everyone's lucky that no one got hurt or killed because of that employee.

I think you do know what to do, but you're just not willing to do it.

Wouldn't it be better to leave alcohol behind for good, even if that means going to rehab (which you still seem reluctant to do)? Otherwise, realistically, how are the next few years going to turn out for you, assuming you live that long?

You can't beat this on your own. Please allow other people to help you.

I wish you the best, but wishes alone won't help you recover.

Mountainmanbob

Don't know where you are located but, here most all are given another chance if they (jump fast) into rehab.

Back in 1989 I turned myself in to our Employee Assistance Program and completed a 28 day Program. Might have saved my job? Did plant the best to be sober seed in me.

M-Bob

Michael66

Sorry to hear that K66. But perhaps something really really good can come of this?

What can you do differently to what you have been doing?

I'm hoping that this, paradoxically, turns into one of the best days of your life. It really could!

August252015

I am sorry.

What to do right now is not drink. That's what I did the times I lost jobs (usually indirectly related to my drinking, or in a couple of cases bc of it). It will just make things worse today.

Try to rest and stop the hamster wheel in your head about what is going to happen. Answer the phone if union people call with info; can you find out on your own what your options for leave etc are?

Maybe this is your last wake up call to quit drinking. I hope you can make it that and find whatever support you can. Take this one step at a time right now, and don't drink is the step to take above all others.

Pinky1

Oh K66 :;
Don't know what to say. Do you think they may have done a random check on you because they suspected you of drinking before?
Seek advice stay and take care x

MLD51

Sometimes a kick in the butt like this is just what we need in order to do the right thing for ourselves. I'd be proactive if I were you. Try to find out what your options are. Call the union as soon as you can this morning. Even if you find out going to rehab won't save your job, I'd suggest doing it anyway. You could save future jobs, and, most importantly, your life or someone else's.

I understand your feelings right now. Must be awful not knowing what's going to happen.

Forward12

I agree with the others that today's job should be calling your employer resources and getting yourself into rehab. Not just to save your job, but also yourself.

Michael66

K66 - How do you feel about coping today and tonight without alcohol? Do you think you can give it a go?

LadyBlue0527

K66, I feel for you, I really do. I've lost a high paying job due to emails that I sent to the owners of the company. Somehow I thought that was fine where they are both personal friends. Nope. I almost lost my marriage too. One more drink and I'm done. Not a chance. I hope that everything works out for you, I would definitely be spending the day working out options.

I do want to point out this

It isn't a $9 bottle of wine that may cost you your job. I get where you're coming from. 2 drinks on an empty stomach for a total of $12 has cost me more than $6000 so far in legal fees, fines, etc, not to mention the OUI I will now have on my record.

The cost of drinking is far more than the value of dollars you remove from your pocket. It's not worth it. Until we face that nothing changes.

I'm thinking of you and hope it all works out for the best.

Nowsthetime

I think that you are directing your anger at him BUT might it be that they are growing tired of you showing up hungover and stinking?

YOU drank YOU went to work YOU had the high BA and YOU signed that document so it's not like you didn't know.

Is this going to be what you need to get that alcohol brings you nothing good?

I hope that this works out but please assume responsibility.

This is your life!!!

Mountainmanbob

I remember having resentments towards the ones at my work that I thought snitched me off, Man when drinking these resentments can bring on some sick thinking. Best to look within so as to see where the real problem lies.

As I look back today at the times at work when I was being confronted regarding my drinking on the job, I understand that it was I who was falling short.

M-Bob

Regarding the comments below -- tuff love may at times be order.

PhoenixJ

Thai is crap. Alcohol is crap. It hurts. I have lost careers over alcohol. Then my wife, sons, house and life- literally. It may seem like the end- it is not. You have been given a VERY clear wake up call. Believe me when I say with all sincerity- do something about this now. Sobriety- for you needs to be your top priority. No deals with yourself, no rationalising, no excuses. Next time- it could be your life. See a doctor- come clean- be honest. Do detox, get into a rehab- and get your life back- for you. Not for a career- because without sobriety that is irrelevant.
Prayers and support, PJ.

K66

I'm being targeted I've been tested 4 times now ... The first one was a 0.047 then 15 mins later it was 0.032... It was from my mouthwash because the tester even said if it were alcohol in her system it wouldn't have dropped that much because it doesn't metabolize that fast... Next 2 times 0.00.... Then today it was 1.02 then 0.97 which is high considering I woke up refreshed didn't feel the slightest hangover it's prob because I'm little I'm 4 feet 10 inches and like 105lbs... But if they tested everyone in that warehouse they would loose 98% of their staff! And there doing it AT work an operating 2 ton reach trucks... They go out at lunch and smoke joints or do rails or perks and I drink on my own time and do paperwork in an office... I know I have a problem but Jesus... I've actually seen guys talking with supervisors so pie eyed they could hardly keep them open or hold a conversation an the supervisor laughed it off and was like wow he's super high today then watched him drive off...

K66

I have to... It's my only option now... I'm almost numb to the job risk it's disappointing the man I love that scares me the most... That and my health obviously

biminiblue

Doesn't matter what others do.

Worry about yourself and your very real problem.

Have you made any calls to your EAP or union?

MLD51

I agree with Bim. Doesn't matter what others do. I get that it doesn't seem fair that others are doing worse things and are not getting caught. Those chickens may come home to roost at some point, or maybe not. This could be a big message from the universe to you that it's time to make changes, before your whole life falls apart. Try to see it that way, and don't let resentments about being targeted get in the way of doing the right thing for yourself.

Michael66

Well done.

Yes, I truly believe jobs will sort themselves out fine in the long run if the sobriety is there. Not that I wish anyone to have to go through the worry you're going through at the moment, and I don't want to trivialise worry about losing a job, but from the outside it is perhaps easier to see that the job situation is less important than the battle you (and many of us here) have with alcohol.

Why not come and join us on the sober weekend thread (this forum) and the 24 hour recovery connections thread (in the Newcomer's Daily Support Threads section).

I know those threads and this forum aren't any kind of magic bullet (and your thought about looking to see of rehab is an option sounds a very positive thought), but there's a lot of us in this together here.

God bless