BrickbyBrick83

I've always been a bit of a navel gazer - trying to figure out what kind of person I am; why I do this, that, and the other; self-analysing until the cows come home.

However, it has only just struck me as to how inextricably linked my eating behaviours and my alcohol addiction are. I never even identified one as being associated with the other! But of course, they are both addictive behaviours, aren't they?

I struggled with bulimia from my early teens, to early twenties, then quit on my own. I've not gone back to that place since. Never even been tempted. HOWEVER. This afternoon, as I moved into my usual drinking time, I had a sudden overwhelming wave of desire to cram my face full of food and do what I used to do. It hit me like a train as soon as my husband went out for his run. I thought, "Oh, I could get it all done and dusted before he comes back." WHAT THE HELL BRAIN???

I wonder if my drinking has been dampening that other addiction - as I can certainly eat, and not care how much of it I'm consuming, when I'm drinking wine. I also wonder if now the booze is gone, my body is craving a new rush, and I did get that from the ED (that will sound very odd to people that haven't experienced it, but there is definitely an almost drug-like rush from purging).

Google also tells me that people that suffer from ED often go on to have problems with alcohol. I never knew that! So, I had two alcoholic parents; a mother with an ED; I had an ED; and throw childhood trauma in there as well. I reeeeeallly should never have touched alcohol in the first place, right?

Hmmm....anyway! There I go navel gazing again! Interesting these little discoveries we make along the way though

Marissa41

I totally understand what you are saying. I've always had a food addiction too. I do either alcohol or food. It's one or the other. Both at the same time is bad news . lol No real food disorders but feelings of addiction. Always somewhat overweight. It's just a constant.

Unwound

I believe there are addictive personalities and I definitely have one: I have been an addicted gambler, smoker and now alcoholic. I think a lot of the tine we do transfer one problem to another I think this means there is probably some underlying cause I'm not addressing, wish I knew what it was.

PhoenixJ

BB8- yep. I think I have an addictive personality. So much so even after major burns- I refuse any pain relief in case I like it too much. Booze- yep. Still smoke and drink coffee, they are next. Thing is those 2 do not directly effect others. I know people in the recovery program I am in who think they are doing well not using IV drugs because they swap to heavy drinking, gambling and sex. One guy- thin as a rake hoards food until it goes mouldy and attracts all sorts of insects. Some one else buys all the 3 dollar cheap crap from those discount warehouse shops- hundreds of dollars a month on it. Play station games, 'vape' ingredients, phones- you name it. Of course these people are not trying to find a solution underlying this behaviour. Another one is getting into very risky and dangerous social situations.

Algorithm

You may be interested in the following book:

Brain over Binge: Why I Was Bulimic, Why Conventional Therapy Didn't Work, and How I Recovered for Good by Kathryn Hansen

BrickbyBrick83

I highly doubt I will ever go back to the ED - I can't imagine doing it again, and I am well educated on the many repercussions for your health. It was just a shock, and very interesting, to actually feel my body reach out for something else, once I'd taken alcohol away. Crazy! Like a naughty child, lol

I know why I developed an ED, which was helpful when it came to giving up. I spent years being served up monstrous portions, while my mother sat at the table with an empty plate in front of her. And I often overheard her discussing my "fat" problem with my dad (I wasn't a fat child - at all, by the way).

I didn't really think of it as a physical addiction (like alcoholism) until literally today. But it makes complete sense, now I've spent some time really thinking about it, and doing some research etc.

Like a lot of you that have commented, I think I must have an addictive personality. It's quite useful in my professional life, as I go all out, and am not satisfied with half-measures of success (though I am trying really hard to reduce work stress and ensure I have "me" time) Not so useful when it comes to booze, eating, polishing off your husband's Tramadol, just because it feels good etc.

I'm going to have to be very careful not to latch onto something else without realising.

BrickbyBrick83

I've been doing a lot of research just recently, and yes - there are often underlying causes, like traumas, stresses etc. However, there is also a lot of scientific evidence, which shows that people with addictive personalities are wired differently. It's genetic. We can't have addictive substances, like alcohol, in kind of the same way that lactose intolerant people can't have milk, or people with peanut allergies can't have peanuts.

Although, it's important to identify and tackle underlying issues if they're there, I find if comforting to know that part of it is probably just down to how I'm made.

Algorithm

This is why I recommended Kathryn Hansen's book.

It's the story of how she used the AVRT of Rational Recovery, originally developed for drug addictions, on her Binge Eating Disorder. She discovered that the same mechanism is at work.

Dr. Amy Johnson used the technique on bad habits in general, and she wrote her own book, which I will eventually get around to reading. I find it interesting that much of what is considered psychological, may not be entirely so.

The Little Book of Big Change: The No-Willpower Approach to Breaking Any Habit by Amy Johnson

Dee74

It's not uncommon for us to slay one addiction monster and have another rise in its place - eventually I came to the conclusion that I wasn't simply addicted to alcohol or pot, or cigarrettes or whatever...I was just addicted.

I had a void in me I tried to fill with stuff...never could.
I've had far greater success in trying to heal that void forever

D

Calicofish

When I gave up alcohol, I ate carbs excessively. I have been binging on carbs for almost 2 years now and found that my witching hour was in the evening. That was a typical time for me to consume alcohol. I used carbs to comfort myself, the same way I used alcohol. Sugar is very similar to alcohol in that it gives us a dopamine rush. And sugar is highly addictive. I allowed myself to binge on sugar, in forms of bread, pasta, rice, cake, cookies because it was certainly better than drinking alcohol. Although sugar is linked to many health concerns, at least I wasn't making a fool of myself when I indulged.

So, this new year I decided to tackle my sugar addiction and began doing very low carb. I log everything I eat and try not to eat over 20g of carbs a day. That means no bread, pasta, cakes, cookies. I get my carbs through leafy green veggies. I eat lots of fat and protein, but keep control of my calories.

I am on Day 9 and kicking sugar is very similar to kicking alcohol. I have not felt great, low energy, foggy brain. This is to be expected with any withdrawal from a drug. It takes about 21 days to get over the cravings for sugar (doesn't that sound familiar?).

Alcohol contains a lot of sugar and I think that's why many of us turn to sugar (carbs) after we quit. However, unlike abstaining from alcohol, it's rather difficult to not eat carbs, so that's why being mindful of what I eat is so important. I've found that I'm not binging like I was and that I am now more satisfied in terms of hunger/cravings than I was 9 days ago. And the upside - I'm losing weight :-)

CF

Bunny211

Same here. I was anorexic and bulimic. Then I stopped those two behaviors on my own. And I picked up alcohol. I drank heavily from 17-22 and then from 22-26 I was SO OBSESSED with my weight that I did not dare put calories in my body in the form of booze. Then I got some xanax, and kicked the eating disorders and took up drinking and taking xanax. The rest well...it did not end well. But, in sobriety, I put on weight and I've been tempted to binge and purge or starve myself. I am tight with my sponsor and many other women and I out myself when this happens. I really do want to recover from ALL my addictions. I am tired of playing whack-a-mole with all of them. Oops, here's one, bang it down, here's another one, hit that sucker down...another pops up. I feel ya. I think recovery can be difficult when we realize just how effin WHACKED our thinking is. And that there's nothing I can do as a quick fix to make myself feel okay (not food, starvation, sex, shopping, pills, booze) and that I need to stay the course of recovery and just feel the feelings. It's tough...but do-able.

BrickbyBrick83

Your whack-a-mole comparison made me laugh!! That is exactly what it's like. It's nice to know that I'm not the only one (though I'm sorry for what you've gone through, it sucks doesn't it? All of the addictions - ED, alcoholism etc - are such a sad, lonely business)

site1Q84

I never thought about that! I NEVER ate sugar, until I quit drinking. Then out of nowhere I started craving sweets. I don't indulge it too much these days, but in glad you said something. I would have never realized I was just trading the booze for sugar haha

Centered3

My therapist (also in AA) told me about whack-a-mole. I have experienced similar transfer of addictions and it's frustrating.

The only cure I found was to find God, because it's a God sized hole that I kept trying to fill with whatever latest obsession.

Just sharing my experience, take it or leave it.

Anna

I think it's great that you had the clarity to see what was happening and to not give in to the thoughts. Sitting and feeling and learning to fill the emptiness in healthy ways is the hard part of recovery.

BrickbyBrick83

Thank you centred - I'm not religious. I sometimes mull the God question over, and one day it might be something I explore, but not right now. I don't believe it's the answer to my addictive behaviour (that's just me, and my personal experience - I think it's fantastic if that is what's working for you).

For me, I'm finding comfort in rediscovering the things I loved long before I started drinking. My sports...I'm a horse rider, in case you couldn't guess from the profile pic! I used to be passionate about competitive riding before the alcohol hit a serious level. And yes, I have "drunk and rode," - terrible idea btw!!; running and walking new trails; reading anything I can get my hands on; writing; just being in nature.

All of these things gradually fell by the wayside as the drinking increased. The drinking actually created the empty hole inside me. Getting back to the "real me," and all the things I honestly love about life, are already going a good way towards making me feel better.

Having written that, religion and my experience probably aren't a million miles apart. I thank "something" every day that I get to live in such a beautiful place; that I have an understanding husband; and that I have had the strength to quit drinking. I just don't have a label to put on it, and that's ok with me.

August252015

i relate to a lot of the posts above, especially what Bunny wrote.

My sponsor and I discuss food and our issues with it, which are different for each of us but definitely connect to our alcoholism and general alcoholic/addict behavior. She recently outed herself to her sponsor because she realized she was using sweets exactly like she would have wine.

I will have one year sober in Feb and I too have been very lax on the sugar thing. I eat a healthy diet....plus a lot of things like ice cream at night and coffee cake or donuts at breakfast. Time for me to break that crutch.

Awareness of my intent and motive is key in my sobriety. Regarding food, since we do HAVE to have it, I need to have a slightly different balance (the whole not swearing off forever prompting a binge reaction eventually kind of thing) so I need to determine what is the best focus so I can be healthy.

Good thread.