Crying....laughing
Whatever it takes - just for today.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Canberra, Australia
Posts: 200
Crying....laughing
So I decided to go back over the posts I have made in the last 27 days and to my surprise found myself crying hard.
It took me a good 10 minutes to work out why I was crying. There was no sadness within me nor were they happy tears.
I was crying with the most pure relief I have ever felt, relief that I am now sober. I was also crying with the most humble gratitude I have every felt, for all here on SR and AA who have been with me every step of the way.
Wow! So now I'm still crying but laughing too and feeling so joyful it's ridiculous.
Please tell me I haven't found a new type of insanity
It took me a good 10 minutes to work out why I was crying. There was no sadness within me nor were they happy tears.
I was crying with the most pure relief I have ever felt, relief that I am now sober. I was also crying with the most humble gratitude I have every felt, for all here on SR and AA who have been with me every step of the way.
Wow! So now I'm still crying but laughing too and feeling so joyful it's ridiculous.
Please tell me I haven't found a new type of insanity
Whatever it takes - just for today.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Canberra, Australia
Posts: 200
Originally Posted by PhoenixJ 
Oh no-
we ain't never gonna survive
unless
we go a little crazy. (Seal)
we ain't never gonna survive
unless
we go a little crazy. (Seal)
and thank you all.xx Scruff
Whatever it takes - just for today.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Canberra, Australia
Posts: 200
Originally Posted by Dee74
I felt a great relief too Scruffanie - it hope it lasts
D
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: Midwest U.S.
Posts: 142
I find myself doing the same thing! You're spot on...it is not necessarily sad or happy, but totally cathartic.
For me, it is somewhat of a purging of all the emotions that built up within me throughout all the relapses, binges, and subsequent crashes. It needs somewhere to go.
Plus, when we're drinking, we can numb a lot of normal everyday feelings out and push them down, but they will inevitably resurface.
Good wishes, Scruffanie!
ABW1
For me, it is somewhat of a purging of all the emotions that built up within me throughout all the relapses, binges, and subsequent crashes. It needs somewhere to go.
Plus, when we're drinking, we can numb a lot of normal everyday feelings out and push them down, but they will inevitably resurface.
Good wishes, Scruffanie!
ABW1
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Scruff,
At 27 days clean I was a mental wreck.
Nobody knew but me. The only place I spoke about my mental gymnastics was here at sr.
But, I didn't join SR until 80 days clean.
Now, at 20 months clean, my obsessive thinking is much better...
But, not perfectly normal.
At 27 days clean I was a mental wreck.
Nobody knew but me. The only place I spoke about my mental gymnastics was here at sr.
But, I didn't join SR until 80 days clean.
Now, at 20 months clean, my obsessive thinking is much better...
But, not perfectly normal.
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