Cassie6

So...

I was doing 'pretty well' (managed to get through Christmas and New Years) then last night hit.

I was offered a glass of Champagne (the devil on my shoulder, said take it - I did ), I thought what harm could one glass do?

Six wines later...

When will I learn!

I cannot describe how angry I am at myself (I am believed to have a pancreatic disorder, and STILL drank!)

I've been crying all day, not just because I 'drank', but because how easily I gave in I hope there is some hope for me.

Cassie xxx

Behappy1

You're not alone. It's an awful cycle. It's amazing how quickly one drink reawakens the alcoholic beast in us. I understand the hatred, self loathing that comes after a night of drinking. Try to get through today, regroup and hit this thing square in the face before it gets out of control or becomes more frequent.

New Year, New You!!

january161992

not to late to get to a meeting and make 1/2/17 your sobriety date

Cassie6

Happy New Year to you to Thank you 'BeHappy' You're right, need to break the cycle. I think one is okay, but one leads to another etc. etc... It's a new day, and I'm resolute in keeping myself out of situations where I may be offered drink - I know it will mean cutting off some friends, but I need to put my sobriety first - Today is day one x

least

I hope this time you can stay sober for good.

Delilah1

Hi Cassie,

Have you had your doctor appointment yet? That is a good place to start.

Like you, wine/champagne was my downfall. I finally said "Enough," last year and yesterday hit the one year mark. I am a mother of three, with a successful career, yet the milestone I hit yesterday was one of the proudest moments of my life.

If you are struggling to do this on your own there are lots of avenues for support. I used SR as my main support, but I was on here reading and posting daily. I also journaled, used exercise, recovery books, gratitude, mindfulness, I had a few people I knew I could count on, and I knew that no matter how difficult the day or situation drinking was not an option.

Lots of members here have found great success with AA, rehab, SMART, Celebrate Recovery...

Spend some time reading on here today, and get a notebook to jot down your plan. You can use that same notebook to add journal, to log gratitude, and to revise your plan as you go.

labgirl

((Cassie6)) so sorry for your distress. I too understand this completely. If there is alcohol near me or in the house I will inevitably get it and drink it......ALL. I suffer the same issues you describe her the following day. Just know that every day is a new day and a new starting point regardless. Make today you final day 1. We are here for you.

xx00 Labgirl

Cassie6

Thanks Delilah, and Congratulations on your one year anniversary (that's such a great achievement)

I went to two different Doctors - admitted the FULL extent of my alcoholism the advise they gave me was to 'taper' - its probably good advice (who can argue with a medical professional after all!) The problem with his advice was that once I have 'one' to 'taper' - it does NOT stop at one...

I have been to many AA meetings, while I appreciate them, unfortunately they have not helped xx

Delilah1

Cassie, have you considered rehab?

48heath

Sorry you are struggling Cassie.

When you attended AA did you have a sponsor? Meetings on their own will not keep you sober.

Cassie6

Thank you '48heath' I did not have a sponsor :/ so it was a very lonely time.

'Delilah' I asked my Doctor(s) with regards to rehab, both of them pretty much said the same. I remember vividly the first ones response, 'Well now, I've had many an alcoholic in my office, and you certainly don't look like an alcoholic to me'...

(I 'was' a model, and despite slowly poisoning my body have still retained my looks )

Over here (England), it is several thousand a week with no referral, sadly far beyond my budget..xx

paulski75

I did the same. Now slowly getting back to life. We will managed. Stay strong.

Anna

Cassie, I had to stay away from situations where there was alcohol for many, many months. I had to feel comfortable and confident before I stepped back into a situation like that.

fgo

Cassie, we are all here for you. The hardest part of it is to not pick up that first drink. To me, as long as you keep trying you'll do it. dont give up.

bluedog97

I know that feeling of shame well. You never have to feel the shame again. Glad youre here and posting. Lets not pick up a drink today!