Kelly12390

Oh god.... I'm sitting here alone so tempted to say **** it and go out to the bar. My sister and her friends all went out, I watched them get ready, drink wine and I felt like a loser.. I felt like nothing. I'm 26, my friends are out, I feel I lost. I was wondering why they were not offering me drink, did they know I was an alcohoic etc.... Oh god it doesn't matter, this disease is hard!!!!!! I wish I could be like them. I wish I wasn't so full of shame, I wish I wasn't sitting here New Year's Day crying my eyes out..

Anna

Kelly, let go of the shame and blame. It's toxic.

You are not a loser. You are deciding to not drink alcohol. Do you have friends that you can meet for coffee or to go for a walk? Take action and do something nice for yourself.

ChloeRose63

Did they invite you out? Were they being mean? I don't get the whole story. You can have fun today. Wipe your tears and do somthing fun. Just don't drink. Go out for a walk and say hello to people and wish them a Happy New Year. It 's a new year..a new beginning..do something new!!
Set a goal to learn something you always wanted to learn. Make a new friend.

SnazzyDresser

It's rough at first, Kelly. We've all been there. Ride it out, there are good things ahead.

Scruffanie

I'm still pretty new to being sober (25 days) but I wanted to reach out to you. I certainly went through a grieving process, 'why can't I drink' 'I miss my toxic friend' but toxic for me is the key word, while I consumed alcohol, it consumed me.

Hang in there, post here, call someone if you can. It will pass.

xx Scruff

Kelly12390

No I wasn't invited... They all must know I'm an alcoholic. Maybe my sister told them not to ask me... I feel so pathetic, I wish I could be normal and be like them! It's funny I drank to 'feel normal' like other people and I just wanna be that 'normal' person again.... Though drink doesn't give me normal! So close to a drink!!!!! Feel like shouting, screaming, I don't know!!!!! Just ughhhhhhhhh!

ChloeRose63

Keep 'shouting' in your posts!!! Get to all out!! We are listening and know how you feel!
Is your sister protecting you from the alcohol situation?

Berrybean

Often a gratitude list can help when self-pity is causing us discomfort. And, after all, it's the self-pity that causes the discomfort 99% of the time, not the thing we're feeling self-pitying about. Often, for me, the first step to feeling better is making the decision that I want (and in fact NEED ) to feel better and the next best thing I can do in that situation is find a place of Acceptance. Sometimes I need to remind ourselves of the nature of acceptance before I'm actually willing to take that step though.

I have to remind myseld that Acceptance is not about right / wrong, or fair / unfair. It is a just matter of stopping my howling for the moon, and realising that no matter how much I stamp, and sulk, and cry, and slam about, and refuse to eat my greens, and chuck my toys out of the pram, the situation is what it is, and I can't change it, but I cant afford to waste all that emotional energy on it. It is within my power to breathe, and stay sober, and think about the blessings I have had in the past, and do have now, and choose to be content. Perhaps you could choose that as well. I hope so.

If not, please, still don't drink on it. That really won't help anything.

Take care.

BB

PS Maybe your sister just wants to go out with her friends. That'd be fairly normal. Or you sister is looking after your sobriety by not inviting you, doesn't mean she's told them diddly squat about your drinking. I should imagine they have plenty of other nonsense to be gabbing about.

Algorithm

That's because you already are normal -- without the alcohol. Adding alcohol is what makes you not normal. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise.

I don't know what you mean by "I'm an alcoholic" exactly, but if that self-identity doesn't suit you, any more than alcohol does, then don't use it. Some people simply don't drink.

Once you get to that "I don't drink" mindset, instead of "I can't drink, but I would if I could", you will be able to go out with other drinkers comfortably, and without fear.

For now, they may have done you a favor. If you can quit now, at age 26, you will be much happier in the long run. Stick around.

Horn95

Girl, just know u r NOT alone. I am right there with you. I want a drink very badly right now. And I feel terrible for it. Keep your chin up, and I'll keep mine up too! Hang tight, and I will too.

Kelly12390

Sorry for ranting, I hope I didn't come across a bratty... I will stay sober, I know my sister has better things to talk about than me.. I know I'm moany but my goodness I feel so low

Horn95

Nailed it.

Kelly12390

Thank you!!!!! On the verge of a drink but knowing I'm not as alone as I feel helps, thank you!

Kelly12390

Thank you xx

ChloeRose63

These are "Words Of Wisdom".

Kelly, you may not think so right now, but, you will see that in time these words ring true!

Berrybean

Well, we all have our bratty moments (I've had more than my share anyway, and I was in my early 40s when going through thouse early months sober, so not a pretty sight). The trick is to get on here and get it out, or call someone who will understand for a chat (another alcoholic in recovery is ideal) then start working on turning it around. Those feelings can be pretty intense, but we don't have to Velcro ourselves to them. We can restart our day any time we like.

It will get easier. Promise.

PurpleKnight

You're not alone Kelly . . . SR is in your corner!!

soberclover

In my early sobriety I remember thinking a lot about what I was missing out on. Gradually my thinking changed to the realities of when I would drink. It ALWAYS ended badly. My thinking now is focused on how grateful I am that I don't have to drink. My life really is so much better without it and yours is too

thomas11

You may think you are missing out on something special, but in reality, you're not missing out on much of anything. Tackling sobriety at such a young age is such a huge advantage. Stick with it, you're doing fine.

FLCamper

I like what SoberClover said - it is a way of looking at it. For a long time, I viewed it as missing out on participating. Now I view drinking as something I just don't participate in.
Hang in there. It's a roller coaster for a while. Just know that the downs are temporary.