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Stumbled onto a problem...

Old 01-01-2017, 01:14 PM
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Stumbled onto a problem...

One of the kids found an empty bottle in her mum's drawer, obviously hidden. She's told me and I've said I'll think about what to do. To be honest I don't know the best way to handle it though. I've got enough to deal with without starting another **** storm.
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Old 01-01-2017, 01:22 PM
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Just put it on the counter and say nothing. When she see it watch what she does and let her explain. Don't condemn her or say anything until she begins to explain. Stay calm. Don't over-react until you hear the story.
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Old 01-01-2017, 02:08 PM
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Hmm. When I was actively drinking, my reaction to being caught out or cornered by the truth was always, instinctively, to lie my way out of it, or create a smokescreen by starting a row about something else. Good luck with this one.
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Old 01-01-2017, 02:12 PM
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I dunno. It's easy to be passive aggressive with something like this and I don't believe that works.

Maybe wait. If you feel it will create a shlit storm, hold tight. After the holiday, when kids are back in school, talk to her. Maybe tell her what you posted here. You can't NOT say something, ya know?

Oh and maybe tell the kid, at the right time, to stay outta the parents stuff.
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Old 01-01-2017, 02:39 PM
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One thing that I'm unsure about is whether to mention the kid found out it, or just say I did?
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Old 01-01-2017, 03:22 PM
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My husband never said a word...

But he always made sure I knew he knew. Last time I had some hidden in the file cabinet. He put papers on top so I'd know he seen it. It was humiliating.
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Old 01-01-2017, 03:30 PM
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I don't think you should lie and say you found it. There is so much lying in alcoholism - tell the truth about who found it. And, if you don't want to deal with it now, do you have a plan in mind? I understand it's holiday time and kids are home from school so it's not an ideal time to confront your wife, but is there an ideal time? I think it's good that you are trying to figure out the best way to handle things.
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Old 01-01-2017, 03:31 PM
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Do have a talk with her. Tell her you know she hid it and it bothers you.
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Old 01-01-2017, 03:49 PM
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I've always suspected something was not quite as it seemed with her drinking, but I'm just not sure to what extent. This is obviously a warning sign. I'll sit on it for now, have a think. I need to put out the little one's mind at rest though.
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Old 01-01-2017, 04:12 PM
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This is a bit of an unexpected turn, but it's made me even more determined to stay sober. This could all blow up into a perfect storm otherwise.
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