shortayp18

Hi all. I want to thank you all so much for helping me in the past I have been doing wonderful even tho my ex fiance has continued to still try to contact me after 4 years of not being together,ughhh. So anyways I am with someone new and I am very happy now, he thankfully is not a drinker which is a whole new life for me.
Occurrences of my past creep up on me and I sometimes get mad or angry at my b/f if he does drink or gets drunk, which is very very rare. I know I need to understand that he doesn't have a problem and that he can socially drink once n awhile. I don't really drink anymore bc I choose not to.
I'm sure many of you know when u look into an alcoholic a eyes and they are completely gone and not their normal self all the time it's very heartbreaking. And if my bf chooses to drink and I see his eyes the way I used to see my ex's I immediately get mad. It's like I can't forget about the past it has completely ruined me with drinking. Anyone that I care about and them drinking makes me cringe. Does anyone experience this??? I am getting better but it's so unfortunate that I can't have a good time and let my bf without me throwing a fit bc I'm so paranoid and I hate people drunk....

PhoenixJ

Ladybird579

I get how you feel. I used to feel the same but I learnt to differentiate between the odd drinking session and getting blitzed everyday. My sons used to be paranoid if me and b/f had a drink here. However they quickly realised that us having a drink did not lead to rows, fighting, someone passed out on the kitchen floor or listening to morning vomiting. I never drink alone and months go by when no one is here to have a drink with. I like a tipple at Christmas and I drink beer in Europe. It's all a matter of moderation, It helps that my boyfriend is happy when merry and never goes past that point.

biminiblue

I won't ever be with someone who drinks again.

If it bothers you - listen to that feeling. Getting drunk is not a normal thing to do, social drinking to me means one or two every few weeks. Not getting drunk. That's dangerous and it's a slippery slope that maybe your boyfriend doesn't yet understand. It won't get better, only worse.

Nata1980

Yes, same here. I nearly had a panic attack on the boat this summer when I realized that I am trapped on water with bunch of drunk people

I don't think getting drunk would be ok with me. Maximum of two drinks twice a month or so would be acceptable.

If I ever get involved with anyone (which is doubtful) - there is a list of "musts" - I don't care how great the person is....too much potential suffering

My DS worries about me even drinking wine so I don't

Tryingin2016

Growing up with a AF, I don't like being around drinking either. Of course, there's the family who drink responsibly at holiday gatherings, and it has taken a long time but I am ok now with some of that. But I have stayed away from all other gatherings that involve alcohol. My AH knew drinking was a deal breaker for me When we married.

Anyway, i would not accept any drinking in a personal relationship. Alcohol has done nothing in my whole life except cause hurt & pain. I will never have it a part of my life.

SparkleKitty

I'm the same way. When my husband has the occasional drink, I tense up. But I don't control him and the problem is mine. It takes a long time for people who grew up with alcoholics or were in relationships with them to understand that no one -- addict or otherwise -- is drinking AT them. But I'm getting there.

dandylion

SORRY!!!!!!!!!!! I posted in the wrong thread!!!!!!!!!!!
This reply was meant for the one which asked...."When did you know it was time to get off the ride?" (Smarie78)

Please forgive me, all......

biminiblue

The sentiment applies, dandy.