dayo

Hi every one,I went on the chat line tonite and I heard so many sad stories that are so much like mine,this is my 5th mariage to an adict it seems to be a pattern for me.when I met my current husband he was clean,or at least I thought he was,but as it turns out he was hooked on pain pills becouse of several opperations on his back.That is how I met him,I also have a bad back and we met each other at the same doctors office,I thought that was so romantic but as it turns out it's been a living hell.I have to addmit I am bringing this on my self becouse I love him so much I can't bare to loose him.I am afraid that I will not only loose him to drugs but also to suicide.he hsa overdosed a few times and I would take him to the hospital and stay with him until they would pump his stomac and send him home.He has gotten alot more crafty,now when he is taking pills he will stay away from home and I will worrie even more becouse I'm afraid he will be found dead.I suffer from depresion along with chronic back pain and so many other health problems there are to many to mention.I feel my problems will get better if my husband would get his drug problem under control.I'm at the point now where when he makes his next mistake I will throw him out until he gets some clean time.Do you think this is the right thing to do?We are ruined financialy,we had to move out of our home where I lived for 12 years into an appartment,that is much,much smaller.If any one cane offer me some advise I would be grateful.Deb(dayo).

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Deb

smoke gets in my eyes

HI Deb...
The chat kind of wore me out, but at the moment I do have this thought. There is simply no way to tell when or if your husband is going to turn to help. Therefore, relying on his getting better to improve your life is not the best game plan. Please try to get to alanon or naranon. The only changes you can be SURE of are the ones you make in yourself.
Please keep posting.

Smoke

grandma4

Hello Deb,
I too live with chronic pain. I was diagnosed in 1995 with an incurable illness. The doctor prescribed codeine and morophine for the pain. All my specialists say that if pain meds are given for chronic pain the patient will not become addicted. I have taken these narcotics for six years now and have not felt the need to up the dose. I only take as much medication as needed to feel comfortable. I have no desire to abuse these drugs. I also live with a recovering alcoholic, he has been sober now for nine months but has end stage liver disease and is going on a transplant list should his health get any worse. So as you can see my life is not easy and I still have no desire to over medicate myself to relieve my physical and emotional pain. Maybe you should have a good talk to your husband's doctor who is prescribing these medications because this should not be happening for relief of back pain.
Pat

dayo

Hi Grandma4,Thank you for your reply,I'm sorry you are in so much physical pain.My husband is not seeing a doctor at this time so the pills he take are over the counter pills caled Max-Alert when he takes them he buys at least 3 or 4 bottles that contain 60 pills per bottle,When he takes them he will disapere for a day or so,becouse he knows I can tell when he is taking them.I can't help but take this personaly becouse I feel he is not happy with me becouse of the way I look,I have gained a lot of weight scince I became disabled becouse I'm unable to exercise to loose the weight,and I also am loosing my teeth one by one becouse of the meds I have to take,and I can't get them fixed couse my husband keeps loosing his jobs so we don't have any insurance as of yet.I also have other medical problems that I feel are causing him to do the things he is doing,Until we get insurance I can't get some of the meds I despratly need,but I also am worried that when we get our insurance he will go back to jumping from one doctor to the next to get the pain meds he likes so much,it won't be the first time he has done this,we have so many doctor bills from him going to these differant doctors and to differant hospitals that we are unable to paw them all.He thinks he is out smartting me by doing this but I get the doctor bills in the mail for the co payment he can't pay,and as usual I confront him and we just end up angry at each other and he won't talk to me for days,when he does that I feel so alone,even when he's here I feel more alone than when he's not here becouse he ignores me.I love my husband so much and I want things to be differant but I'm loosing hope,and I don't know what to do.I'm sorry for rambleing on I just get caried away sometimes becouse I don't have any one to talk to except for his mom but I don't want to keep draging her into this and making her unhappy,Deb.

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Deb

grandma4

Hello Deb, I live in Canada so the medical system is different here. They regulate narcotics very carefully. It is very difficult here to go from doctor to doctor as we have universal coverage for doctor visits. The government would catch on so the only way here to get pills is off the street. I feel bad for you because I also have gained alot of weight because of my illness and the meds that I take and the fact that I am not very active anymore. It was hell for me when my husband was still drinking because I had to take care of all my needs myself and I was not well enough to get around. Try to take care of yourself the best way you can and you can always get support from AlAnon.

broken

hi deb..
i know you posted this a while ago..
i just wanted to find out if you're still out there????

~maya