tiffanyeagle

Has anyone stayed with recovery for he most part for one reason or another (family, career, get yourself right again) but has planned relapses? I know it's a weird question.

MidnightBlue

Hi, Tiffany.

Not sure what you mean by planned relapse.

ScottFromWI

Most "relapses" are generally due to either not having a solid recovery plan or not doing the require work to follow said plan. And many times people do plan to drink at a future time certainly.

Anna

No, I didn't plan any relapses. Relapses do happen, but I don't believe they are part of the recovery process. I think they are part of the addiction.

doggonecarl

When I was approaching 180 days sober I thought it would be okay to drink every six months. Twice a year was a whole lot better than drinking every day. I was so looking forward to drinking. Lucky for me, sanity prevailed. Sanity, because it would have been insanity to drink, insane to think I could have quit after one day and not drink for another 6 months.

Recovery means being all in...not drinking when the addiction "plans" otherwise.

Nonsensical

Like Carl, I planned binges far in advance. Same rationale - it's been 4, 5, 6 months - that's better than every day.

Unlike Carl, I carried a few of them out. Wish my sanity would have kicked in sooner.

Is it better than drinking every day? Yeah, a little.

The problem is that's like saying being shackled to the wall by a chain with 10 links is better than being shackled to a wall by a chain with 8 links. Yeah, it's a little better, but you're still not free.

Best of Luck on Your Journey.

Soberwolf

This is why acceptance is so key to recovery because once you accept it then it's all about moving forward not backwards ?

Bunny211

Yeah, the first time I was in rehab I knew I was going to drink as soon as I got out of there. I ended up nearly bleeding to death on my couch and back into detox and rehab 2 months later.

Don't. Do. It.

shauninspain

I used to look forward to when my wife would go away to visit family, leaving me on my own. In my twisted logic it was a window of opportunity to drink! It never worked out as I had hoped

Upstairs

I think that was what tiffanyeagle was meaning. Whether you can generally swear off the stuff but for the occasional binge. That probably has something to do with whether you have a drinking problem or not.

Maudcat

Hi, Tiffany. Do you mean that an event, like a wedding, is coming up and you would like to be able to drink? Something like that?
I gleaned from your earlier posts that you have had periods of sobriety but have always returned to drinking. Perhaps you are thinking that the drinking thing is managable if you plan it and compress it into a window of time, then return to your sobriety?
Not judging, just trying to understand.
Alcohol dependency is complex and individual. What works for one may not for another. I really, really did not want to break up with my friend bourbon, but things were not going well, and it was time to make a change. Like many posters to this site, I hoped I could moderate and keep it under my control. Alas, not so. Abstinence was my way forward.
You are your own person and this is your path to walk. I would think about it hard, though. Peace.

BringingBackB

Being totally honest with myself, yes, I've done it. I haven't planned it out step by step, but I let the AV take over and just didn't fight it. On a few occasions, I knew I was going to drink on said day, and did nothing about it. As nonsensical said, by doing this, we're in fact proving that alcohol still has control over us, rather than what we think in our minds at the time of 'oh well its been 4 months since I last had a drink, so if i have a drink today, that will be okay right?'

entropy1964

I've totally planned relapses. But I wasn't in recovery, obviously! I just wasn't drinking. Big difference. I would just 'not drink' for months at a time. Its all pretty insane really.

I also will hold out 'reservations'. I'll drink when.....again, crazy. At this point its one day at a time. And that's not a white knuckling feeling. Done that. Its just living in the moment, doing the next right thing.

Delilah1

I never planned a relapse, but u certainly ignored the signs I was heading that way. I stopped logging in SR in the past, and then the thoughts of moderation started bubbling. I have learned that moderation does not work for me, and sobriety is more about recovery, and making me the best me, than just not drinking.

Since this thought is in your head, you have the opportunity to do something now to get back on track.

Maudcat

I will say, tiffany, that you have demonstrated that you are capable of long periods of sobriety. In these circles, that is huge! How about taking that will and determination to the next level, as in stay sober every day? You got this.

Dee74

No, I can't take a night off or something and go out drinking.
Last time I did that it took me nearly two years to stop.

D

tiffanyeagle

it's such a mental disease.
it really messes with my head since my divorce and subsequent relapse. i feel like i'll never be the sober strong person i once was.
i hate to sound this way believe me.

Mattq2

I was sober for seven years. Like so many I thought I had to be cured and drank. It was my only relapse but it lasted fourteen years. I don't have fourteen years to give to another relapse. Just can't happen...ever

Dee74

You can not only get back to who you used to be, but be better tiffany

D

Delilah1

You will get there. It takes a strong person to log in here and share they are thinking about relapsing. Life still throws curve balls at us, and we learn to deal with them sober.

You can do this! What are you doing now to help to deal with your divorce, and to work on your sobriety?