Northeast69

36 years ago, I stopped smoking. But, I've always said that if I ever were diagnosed with a terminal illness, I would start back smoking. Now, I just stopped drinking two months ago. And, I'm 69. So, just as with smoking, I will drink again if I am diagnosed terminally ill. To me, there would be no reason not to. What about those of you who have been sober several years or much longer,; would you drink again if you knew you were going to die? Or, is there more to lose than I am considering?

Dee74

Welcome Northeast

No, not me.
It'd be a huge slap in the face to the life I've built sober, and the person I've become.

I'd want to spend my last weeks enjoying my life and my friends to the full, trying to finish various projects - not mentally checking out, hiding or running away, drinking the day away in my room like I used to.

There's no conditions on my recovery - it's who I am now.
D

ChiefBromden

The last 2 years of drinking were miserable, full of anxiety and depression, nerves completely shot, screaming inside. You see, at a certain point, alcohol just stops working. I had lost who I was.

So no. I can't "prove" this obviously, as it hasn't happened yet, but I'm pretty sure I never want to go there again. And I have seen a sober alcoholic friend who got a serious cancer scare (stage IV) and did not pick up, nor had he any desire to. He survived BTW.

Thoughts like this also will keep the addiction dancing behind the curtains, so you might want to investigate if your decision to pick up in such a scenario isn't making your life more difficult?

EndGameNYC

I don't know, but I don't think I would.

We're all terminal. Why should I wait to ruin the rest of my life until I have a better idea about when it's going to end?

SnazzyDresser

The great Warren Zevon started back drinking after he got his terminal lung cancer diagnosis. I don't think I would myself, hope I never find out.

FreeOwl

No

soberlicious

For me, there would be no reason to. Why would I want to die a drunk? That's so weird to me.

Doug39

I feel the same way.

The times in my life when I enjoyed drinking the most were times when things were going good in my life.

But I drank all the time so when things were bad I was self medicating with alcohol and I felt worse.

So if I had a terminal illness I would consider that a bad thing - if I drank it would make my final days worse - if that makes sense.

PhoenixJ

I was dead- 3 times last year. Because of alcohol. Those memories/flashbacks/hallucinations/NDE's- whatever they were- started by chronic drinking. It was hell. I would not wish that on my worst, most hated enemy. Which in this case- was me.

Mattq2

The only way I got sober was to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it was for the rest of my life. It's the onlyy way it works for me. Thinking any other way would be terrible for me.

entropy1964

Ugh. I have never been diagnosed terminal. I did watch my husband get that diagnosis. All I saw was a dying man who desperately wanted to live. Not kill himself more quickly.

I do know when my alcoholic brain starts thinking really twisted stuff, it just means it wants me to drink.

fini

ah, dear Norheast, I know I'm going to die. I am quite, quite terminal. as are you.
all the more reason to spend my time soberly!
is there more to lose than you realize?
for me there is. 'losing' sobriety, I'd lose myself all over again. lose my integrity.my peace. my real life.

immri

I always thought I would, and couldn't understand why you wouldn't, but now the thought horrifies me a little. At the end of my drinking I was ill all the time and never got any enjoyment from it, yet still couldn't stop. I wouldn't want to waste whatever time I had left feeling so ill/ashamed/anxious.

least

No. If I knew when my life was going to end, I'd want to be awake and aware for it. And drinking never brought me anything but misery. Why would I want to go back to that?

Mklove

No, the thought of dying hung over isn't appealing.

Algorithm

This may go over your head if you are not familiar with AVRT, but this particularly morbid scenario is actually specifically discussed. It is simply the Beast's incipient plan to drink -- a nascent loophole to expand and exploit.

As long as there's another drink out there somewhere in the future with your name on it, the Beast still has hope, and you may rest assured that it will try to shorten the timeline soon enough. Count on it.

Don't believe me? Trying closing that loophole:
Listen for the echo. Your Beast should go ballistic.

Coldfusion

I would not drink, because I actually enjoy sobriety more than drinking.

Delilah1

Nope, I would want to enjoy every minute I have left of my life, and I need to be sober to be able to fully do that, I would also want to create wonderful, and lasting memories for my kids, and I don't want them tinged with alcohol.

kintsugi

No.

I didn't stop drinking for my health (though better health is a marvellous benefit), I did it for my sense of purpose in life. I can't predict the future, but I feel like if I knew I had very little time left, I'd want to focus on family/loved ones and finishing up passion projects -- things I fall short on when drinking.

Plus, I cant even imagine leaving my son with a lasting image of my dying days as a drunk. I have better memories to offer him than that.

melki

Holy crap. So the weirdest thing just happened. I read the original post and started pondering "really, why not..." and then even getting EXCITED about the idea. Whoa! How sick is this???

Your responses helped me shake it off, thank you.