My beginning
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Fort Hope, On. Ca.
Posts: 5
My beginning
I remember the day heavily drinking was it for me. It was my 18th birthday on October 2009, and that day I left my home reserve to be with my Mom in tbay, as free as I felt from being in tikinagan care, I drank. My mom and I went on a binge, she offered the first drink at a mall and took me to a place where she left me with, probably about 9 other people in one apartment who's actually stayed there for quite sometime. I stayed too for maybe 6-7 months. For the time I was there I got to know them, they took care of me from feeding me and clothing me ... and of course I'd have to be intoxicated to eat and shower, so we would "boost" (steal) to get a fix. Long walks in the cold (an hour and a half walks) to get to the few places we need to get our "fix" then drink on the way back "home".
1 week of being there I was already feeling weak and I had really bad tremors. Ugh, I can't forget how sick I felt, but I started drinking before I was 18 and never felt that sick. And a few months later I haven't been 'sober' for more than 2 hours, I would drink anything that consumed alcohol, then, the summer of July2010, I went to jail for 2 thefts .. and spent 2 weeks there, I was so sick, I could not walk, but they made me because they weren't that nice, haha. I staggered, I was nauseous, I was shaking, hearing voices, seeing things ... I lost so much weight and God, I used to be so pretty, I thought for awhile when I seen myself, my skin was yellow, my eyes were yellow, my belly looked swollen so did my face, I could go on but rather not. I was put in segregation for a few days with a few doses of Valium a day for the sleep I haven't had for so long. Pain and depression meds. I went through the worst DTs and it was just the beginning. There were times I could rip my own eyes out because I thought there were actually bugs in my eyes, and from the little sink, I'd put water on myself because "the voices" were telling me the devil was trying to burn me and was touching me and I thought that I could actually feel his hands on me, it was so real to me. Everytime I thought of my life going to ****, I cried, and my tears just burnt my eyes and I could not open them.
Once I was released, I was back at it, but maybe once a month I would spend a week or two in Jail because of my breaches. I got so used to having DTs, and out in a week I'll be drinking again. The longest I was sober was 3 months because it was the longest time I spent in jail. Jail wasn't the only place I would go to "sober up" for a few days, I would go to the hospital, or detox, but everytime, I knew someone from the street there, and I would leave with them, it never failed.
I think back about my past because I feel that it helps me in a way, I'm now sober and it's been since January 2016. All that time I wasted on being a drunk ... then an addict for a while.
Sometimes, when I think of it, it just makes me sick. Out of it all, I met a lot of people, they still say hi to me from time to time. They will always be a part of my life now because I know how it was being on the street, or living at a shelter house, getting picked up by police just for somewhere warmer to sleep (sometimes the hospital< do that and you'll end up being kept there, sometimes) 6 years of my life, I'm now 25 and have a 4 month old baby girl, after the Doctor said I couldn't have any babies. My Blessing.
Thanks for reading ☺
1 week of being there I was already feeling weak and I had really bad tremors. Ugh, I can't forget how sick I felt, but I started drinking before I was 18 and never felt that sick. And a few months later I haven't been 'sober' for more than 2 hours, I would drink anything that consumed alcohol, then, the summer of July2010, I went to jail for 2 thefts .. and spent 2 weeks there, I was so sick, I could not walk, but they made me because they weren't that nice, haha. I staggered, I was nauseous, I was shaking, hearing voices, seeing things ... I lost so much weight and God, I used to be so pretty, I thought for awhile when I seen myself, my skin was yellow, my eyes were yellow, my belly looked swollen so did my face, I could go on but rather not. I was put in segregation for a few days with a few doses of Valium a day for the sleep I haven't had for so long. Pain and depression meds. I went through the worst DTs and it was just the beginning. There were times I could rip my own eyes out because I thought there were actually bugs in my eyes, and from the little sink, I'd put water on myself because "the voices" were telling me the devil was trying to burn me and was touching me and I thought that I could actually feel his hands on me, it was so real to me. Everytime I thought of my life going to ****, I cried, and my tears just burnt my eyes and I could not open them.
Once I was released, I was back at it, but maybe once a month I would spend a week or two in Jail because of my breaches. I got so used to having DTs, and out in a week I'll be drinking again. The longest I was sober was 3 months because it was the longest time I spent in jail. Jail wasn't the only place I would go to "sober up" for a few days, I would go to the hospital, or detox, but everytime, I knew someone from the street there, and I would leave with them, it never failed.
I think back about my past because I feel that it helps me in a way, I'm now sober and it's been since January 2016. All that time I wasted on being a drunk ... then an addict for a while.
Sometimes, when I think of it, it just makes me sick. Out of it all, I met a lot of people, they still say hi to me from time to time. They will always be a part of my life now because I know how it was being on the street, or living at a shelter house, getting picked up by police just for somewhere warmer to sleep (sometimes the hospital< do that and you'll end up being kept there, sometimes) 6 years of my life, I'm now 25 and have a 4 month old baby girl, after the Doctor said I couldn't have any babies. My Blessing.
Thanks for reading ☺
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Virginia
Posts: 1,133
What an inspiring story.
I think your experiences, as awful as they were, are part of your story and what made you the strong person you are today.
I think you should be really proud of yourself. Stay strong!
I think your experiences, as awful as they were, are part of your story and what made you the strong person you are today.
I think you should be really proud of yourself. Stay strong!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Fort Hope, On. Ca.
Posts: 5
Thank youu all! I feel much better after sharing a little of my story and knowing there's a lot more people in recovery. I know that I am not alone in this, I will continue to stay strong and sober, for my baby!
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