Expanding

I found the perfect home. It's gorgeous and exactly what I wanted. I'm supposed to send in my second deposit and I can hardly breathe. Doing this alone is a lot scarier than I anticipated. I keep going back and forth between excitement and fear... it being the holidays and things being crazy at work has left me pretty tired and frazzled. I can't get a minute to myself. Seems when I finally have the house to myself someone comes home minutes after. There's yelling, loud TVs, doors banging, heavy walking, etc. it feels hostile and chaotic in here and I've been dying for some peace and quiet. Exercise helped initially but is actually making me feel wired now and is causing problems when I try to sleep. The female I live with is mean to her husband and is sending my stress skyrocketing. I know it's not my problem but hearing how nasty of a tone she uses really bothers me. The walls are thin and I can hear EVERYTHING. She told me she was diagnosed as bipolar and I feel like I'm walking on eggshells. I love being single but I miss the comfort of having a partner. I didn't realize how much easier things could be dealt with when the burden was split. My mind is going to some dark places... what if the house collapses? What if the roof leaks? What if there's a fire? Why can't I obsessively think about all the good things that could happen? What if this works out? What if my tenants are awesome, maybe they'll be handy. What if I find an amazing man who shows me what it's like to be treated well? What if I find true peace and quiet and relaxation?

I'm going a little nuts here!

hearthealth

My SIL married the handy man that came to fix her doors. You also can fix the house your way. I was scared when I bought my first house as a single non dating person but I also still loved that house I sold when I got married.

Maudcat

If you have gotten good information about the house. Accurate inspection, appraisal, etc. you should be okay. Stuff happens, sure. But short of living in an earthquake zone, most anything that happens can be fixed. Try to breathe and take a leap of faith.. It should be okay. Living in a house you own is far, far better than renting, imo. Peace.

Upstairs

Good for you Expanding! It is a lot rougher getting by alone. It may help to set a little aside every month for the inevitable home problem that will arise. Good luck! 🍀

Gonnachange

As Maudcat mentioned the house has already been inspected by professionals. Maintenance is maintenance, it's part of the "joy" of home ownership, but whether you do it on your own or hire someone it's needed and will enhance the value of your investment and living experience. Anything catastrophic will be covered by insurance and the odds of a fire, which you used as an example, is extremely low.

Seriously, think about the good.

AnvilheadII

i call it "disasterfying". i usually do this around 1 or 2am. last nite i was all stressed out over the "seating chart" for our Christmas Eve dinner....there will be THREE of us. and two of us live here full time!!! where oh where to put everyone!??

i guess the one thing i would ask is......are you sure you are ready to proceed? this isn't some knee jerk reaction? it's well thought out, planned with no impediments? if you have taken the proper steps, then it's probably just BIG PURCHASE jitters.

tomsteve

"My mind is going to some dark places... what if the house collapses? What if the roof leaks? What if there's a fire? '

every time I live with one foot in yesterday and one in tomorrow, I pee all over today.
best for me to keep one foot in the here and one in the now. tomorrow will take care of itself.

yesterdays history
tomorrow's a mystery.
today is a gift.
that's why its called
the present.

FeelingGreat

I can remember being super scared when I decided to buy my house; it turned out to be a great decision. But the point is, it's natural, and your living conditions aren't doing you any favours.
I once asked a very prosperous stock broker how he felt when he made a new investment, and he said he got scared too!

PhoenixJ

Good one. Prayers and support to you. Truly expanding your horizons. :-)

Expanding

I'm very excited and so ready for this. Just came in from a morning class and am feeling much better (perhaps exercising at night isn't good for me). I reached out and received the type of reassurance that made me tear. Sometimes I forget that I'm a 30 year old adult who is capable of taking care of herself. I have a hard time timing trusting myself... probably because I ignored my gut feelings for so long... I was living my life for someone else, not me. On top of the big purchase jitters I feel like this is going to make a big statement. I will actually be living my life on my terms and doing what I want to do, 100%. No talking to a partner to see if they approve, no compromising because we both have to be happy.. I don't think I've ever really done something that was all for me before. A big moment. Thank you all as usual and if I don't come back have a Merry Christmas and Happy Holiday

Upstairs

That's one nice thing about living alone. No compromising on the tv! I'm watching Godzilla all day at my house and no one can stop me! 😀

honeypig

Can I send my nephew over? He'd LOVE it!

Expanding, I think I understand how you feel, wondering how you will handle things on your own regarding your home. I worried about a lot of the same things--snow removal on a long gravel driveway, mowing of a large lawn, just general minor maintenance that either I don't know how to do or am not equipped to do. XAH took care of all that, or didn't take care of it, sometimes...

I found a very nice handyman sort of guy on Angie's List who cleaned my gutters (2-story house, not getting on a ladder that high myself!) for a very reasonable price as well as hauling away a big pile of scrap aluminum from my brother's shed and chainsawing some fallen trees. I'm sure I'll have more for him this spring.

I learned how to use the big macho snow blower. I don't like it--it's heavy and loud and I'm damn tired after horsing it around for the amount of time it takes to clear my drive and turn-around spot--but I can do it.

While it would be faster for me to mow w/a rider (big yard), I find I prefer a push mower b/c of the chance to look things over at close range. It's about 2 hours' work to do the yard and another hour or so when I cut the "nature walk" paths in back. It's a lot to tackle all at once, but I split it up if it's very hot or if I'm tired. And I don't do the nature walk every week; I cut just enough to keep it "walkable."

The garage door wouldn't stay down, would close and then raise again. I looked up the manual for the closer online and fixed the problem--it was so simple, turning one screw to adjust it!

I will need a water heater at some future date. My kitchen sink is beyond pathetic; ancient, leaky, stained, only the hot tap works. I worry b/c yes, one really major repair issue would take me forever to pay off. For now, though, this place is paid for and I love living here w/the huge cedars out front, the giant lilacs to the west, the owl who calls from the biggest pine tree most nights.

I think we're both going to be OK, Expanding.