Unlikely Christmas Blessings & Angels (scott, ed & ron)
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 923
Unlikely Christmas Blessings & Angels (scott, ed & ron)
Went to wait outside of methadone clinic this week-3 days (more later)-and it was more waiting than finding (the only way have of finding daughter).
Day 1-saw a guy get pulled out of his wheelchair and beat up for his pills-bystanders (all like me) did not respond to cries for help as the guy was very scary-but police called and was able to volunteer my witness stmt-and the policemen were kind and caring (one asked me for a picture of my daughter and said they would look)-then as I waited (5 hours total)-saw another man in wheelchair spreading good cheer (right next to my car)-after an hour or so, we came to exchange a friendly glance-he did nothing without permission; was more polite and cheerful and intro'd me to his friends (scott). the guy himself was grateful and said he was just grateful for his life-and that was a lot, given what had happened. scott is homeless...he asked for nothing and gave much...grace and good humor and positive feedback.
ed told me about his time in vietnam and his best friend dying beside him and I heard him and he asked me why I could smile at him and tell him he was a hero-he said he had lost his mind upon coming back (eyes were clear that morning, although know that that whole group are alcoholics and past drug users by their own admission), he was a criminal...he didn't deserve it-and the words came from me (but not me) that he was a hero; he was a sufferer and he deserved to be treated as a human being...he asked me not to acknowledge that he had told me the story and I promised I wouldn't if we were to see one another again. have added him to the prayer list-that some of the survivor's guilt and the shame and self blame for being alive when his best friend, Mickey is not, was relieved a bit...and there will be more relief for him, as he also heard the few things I said, and said that he knew that women were stronger than men...and that he was so sorry and the authenticity rang clear.
today, after not finding her...filled tank with gas, and ron said merry christmas-and he listened to me about my daughter and then said that he believed that God will help her and that God is good. ron and scott both are missing teeth-clearly have lived rough lives (in the Tenderloin) and yet each one looked at me in the eyes...said they could see the pain and empty, and yet that a mother's love is the strongest there is-scott asked to see a picture to tell her she is loved (they go to the same clinic). ron is homeless too-clean though and does not feel sorry for himself; just a fellow human being.
ron gave me a hug and sent me on my way with hope and the sense of acceptance for my daughter, for me-scott did the same-although he was a complete gentleman and simply shook my hand when I said it was ok (i offered, as it is a way of being able to express that someone else is human and worthy and it is what I miss most when isolated).
in addition, yesterday saw my daughter-she had the black man described by my husband with her and promised to return in an hour and she didn't and as I waited, the awareness dawned (more than just intellectual knowing/information) that the guy was probably a dealer/pimp and that I needed to now know alive and aware of how she is maintaining herself...and the horror that went seeping up my body and soul was and is real.
the blessing is that grace can come from such a terrible place, severe mercy. grief and loss remains...the growth in understanding just how terrible this really is-and how powerless I am over anything...and yet, I had the strength for the first time in 7 months to go and not let my husband's insistence on 'no' to keep me from going and I faced real and was not destroyed...and I still love my daughter no matter what and I know I can do nothing.
point is that there is grace in the world...and often from the most unexpected people and places...am grateful. God bless to all.
Day 1-saw a guy get pulled out of his wheelchair and beat up for his pills-bystanders (all like me) did not respond to cries for help as the guy was very scary-but police called and was able to volunteer my witness stmt-and the policemen were kind and caring (one asked me for a picture of my daughter and said they would look)-then as I waited (5 hours total)-saw another man in wheelchair spreading good cheer (right next to my car)-after an hour or so, we came to exchange a friendly glance-he did nothing without permission; was more polite and cheerful and intro'd me to his friends (scott). the guy himself was grateful and said he was just grateful for his life-and that was a lot, given what had happened. scott is homeless...he asked for nothing and gave much...grace and good humor and positive feedback.
ed told me about his time in vietnam and his best friend dying beside him and I heard him and he asked me why I could smile at him and tell him he was a hero-he said he had lost his mind upon coming back (eyes were clear that morning, although know that that whole group are alcoholics and past drug users by their own admission), he was a criminal...he didn't deserve it-and the words came from me (but not me) that he was a hero; he was a sufferer and he deserved to be treated as a human being...he asked me not to acknowledge that he had told me the story and I promised I wouldn't if we were to see one another again. have added him to the prayer list-that some of the survivor's guilt and the shame and self blame for being alive when his best friend, Mickey is not, was relieved a bit...and there will be more relief for him, as he also heard the few things I said, and said that he knew that women were stronger than men...and that he was so sorry and the authenticity rang clear.
today, after not finding her...filled tank with gas, and ron said merry christmas-and he listened to me about my daughter and then said that he believed that God will help her and that God is good. ron and scott both are missing teeth-clearly have lived rough lives (in the Tenderloin) and yet each one looked at me in the eyes...said they could see the pain and empty, and yet that a mother's love is the strongest there is-scott asked to see a picture to tell her she is loved (they go to the same clinic). ron is homeless too-clean though and does not feel sorry for himself; just a fellow human being.
ron gave me a hug and sent me on my way with hope and the sense of acceptance for my daughter, for me-scott did the same-although he was a complete gentleman and simply shook my hand when I said it was ok (i offered, as it is a way of being able to express that someone else is human and worthy and it is what I miss most when isolated).
in addition, yesterday saw my daughter-she had the black man described by my husband with her and promised to return in an hour and she didn't and as I waited, the awareness dawned (more than just intellectual knowing/information) that the guy was probably a dealer/pimp and that I needed to now know alive and aware of how she is maintaining herself...and the horror that went seeping up my body and soul was and is real.
the blessing is that grace can come from such a terrible place, severe mercy. grief and loss remains...the growth in understanding just how terrible this really is-and how powerless I am over anything...and yet, I had the strength for the first time in 7 months to go and not let my husband's insistence on 'no' to keep me from going and I faced real and was not destroyed...and I still love my daughter no matter what and I know I can do nothing.
point is that there is grace in the world...and often from the most unexpected people and places...am grateful. God bless to all.
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: CA
Posts: 10,681
Finding beauty in a heartbreaking situation just makes it shine brighter. May your daughter also find love and beauty in her situation. May the angels protect her.
Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it. Hebrews 13:2
Many prayers for you and your daughter.
Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it. Hebrews 13:2
Many prayers for you and your daughter.
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
Thank you for sharing about your day, iris. Sometimes, I have also spoken with the homeless people in this town when I have crossed paths. I am just so sorry to hear about your daughter, though. Sometimes you know...but then there is truly knowing the reality of a situation. That is one of those moments when it is almost a physical sensation of something covering you up and seeping into your skin.
May many blessings come to you for your kindness to the men you spoke with. God bless!
May many blessings come to you for your kindness to the men you spoke with. God bless!
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Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,669
For the last 12 months I have shared basic shelter with many homeless people. Dignity and grace with some. I respect most people and value life as a gift. I hope your daughter is okay. My prayers for her, you and your family. Keep posting, strength in unity.
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