Soberwolf

At SR there is so much help for newcomers & those in early recovery from great people with kind hearts, wisdom & tons of experience

There are the classes to join like the class of December, the Weekender thread, the 24h thread... basically there is tons of stuff here to help you remain sober through the holidays

Something Dee74 often says about hanging back in favor of building sober muscles is one of the best if not the best advice I or anyone could give someone in early recovery

Myself I dropped a whole heap of 'friends' & stayed away from places where people were drinking ie gatherings, christmas parties and the like, recovery was already hard enough I didn't want to be around alcohol and pretend I was ok because I wasn't

By hanging back I started the healing process (rebuilding my life away from my old life) I started reading getting back in touch with who I was before the drink took over

When I did go to a gathering it was after a sustained period of sobriety in my case 5 months but I wish I didn't go because although I didn't drink afterwards I wanted to.. I'd easily advise double that time to 10 months

What I'm really trying to drive home is early sobriety is hard enough without pretending your ok to be around alcohol when deep down you know your not and trust me it's ok to not be ok about this you have nothing to prove to anyone and you can be polite but if you don't feel up to large or small groups drinking around you then don't politely say to whoever your closest to or trust & say this it will save a lot of heartache & pain

And most importantly you will be building sober muscles it won't always be like this and soon enough you'll see why this is so beneficial to your recovery

Peace

SW

Dee74

I probably should explain what I mean by sober muscles

Noone starts weight training buy lifting 200 pounds or starts running by running a marathon...we have to build up to things.

I made the decision to stay away from alcohol centered events for a while but I didn't lock myself away for months - I did some volunteering and got used to being around people again...I went out for coffee, or to the movies or for picnics, art galleries, museums, walks...

I had very little in the way of sober social skills... so that was a necessary learning experience for me.

As my social confidence got better, I'd also been working on my recovery and on myself...

I reached a point I knew I preferred being sober, Being sober was what i was building my future on, and I knew that nothing or noone could sway me anymore.

I had me some 'sober muscles'

Soberwolf

Thank you D

Ustacallmelola

The times through the years I tried getting sober, I could not believe the absolute rudeness of people telling me I was being ridiculous and I HAD to drink. One sober new years, I had my friends sister who would not take no for an answer at the midnight toast and physically shoved a glass in my hand. I have been at parties with friends who insisted I did not have a problem. Those are not the time nor places to tell people I am closet drunk who has a serious problem and thanks for being so insensitive. I struggled with that a lot in my times of sobriety and trying to fit in. I do not plan to do that this time and will stay away for a while. The resort I am leaving for Saturday has an outside Tikki bar right off of the pool and beach. I chose this resort specifically for that reason and now I am trying to be sober. When I get back, I plan on sticking close to home and the gym and avoiding social outings hopefully until summer.

Soberwolf

Bump