What a weird day / week
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Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: East Coast
Posts: 865
What a weird day / week
It’s been one heck of a week and it is only Tuesday!
So we all know about the gift giving / receiving – which was beautiful and overwhelming.
Then I heard again from my AH about Christmas Mass – he wants to come and was asking about the times available on Christmas Eve, etc. When I told him he actually said “Well I would like to make the early one because I have my noon meeting then I can go to mass and be back in time for my evening meeting”…
Wait – what? Did he really just check his schedule to make TWO meetings on Christmas Eve? I guess “those people” aren’t so bad after all…..
On a side note my father-in-law called me today **sigh**. He is/was a HUGE enabler for my AH. I know my AH had not reached out to him because he was still calling for him on his old work phone. So I broke the news to him about what happened. I listened to what he said, but since he too is an alcoholic I listen with one ear closed. I heard, again, how much they support me (but turn around and give their alcoholic son the alcohol), and how much he, my father-in-law, hadn’t had a drink in three months and didn’t want it again… (Although last Christmas he had not had a drink in 6 months and didn’t want it again), and he can’t believe he lost his job the way he did (really, why not….). I mean seriously, I always knew his family talked from both sides of the mouth but this is just ridiculous. My AH just recently shared with me (and his new found AA group) that his parents were the worst enablers. When AH needed money or alcohol they gave him what he wanted. Never asked for anything in return. But they watched our family spiral out of control and watched their son go in and out of rehab and “stood by me” and told me I “was making the right decision”, etc……all I can do is shake my head.
So because of my new job and the fact that we have bigger issues at the moment, we are obviously not going back home for Christmas but my father-in-law asked anyway. I had to explain to him, again, why we were not coming. He is sad because my AH has a sister that lives here (we do not speak to her) and she is not coming home either. I sat thru the story as to why she is not coming…..although I really couldn’t be bothered to know. But it crossed my mind that my father-in-law could come here; however I would NEVER suggest that especially right now! When we hung up he asked if I could have my AH call him. All I said was I would give him the message.
I did tell my AH he called, but my AH does not want to talk to him at the moment. In fact he told me that even if he was home and we could go on vacation back to our hometown he didn’t want to go because it would be too soon for him to be back in that environment. He said his dad always had a bottle waiting for him and when my AH stopped drinking whiskey and switched to “just beer” his dad would make sure he had at least two or three cases waiting for him when we got into town. Yet for summer vacation my dad made arrangements to have a dry vacation, and we did and guess what, we still had a good time.
Anyway, I won’t let any of this ruin my day or my holiday. I have two girls to take care of and the last thing they need is a worried mom who is full of fear and panic.
Thanks for listening!
KTT
So we all know about the gift giving / receiving – which was beautiful and overwhelming.
Then I heard again from my AH about Christmas Mass – he wants to come and was asking about the times available on Christmas Eve, etc. When I told him he actually said “Well I would like to make the early one because I have my noon meeting then I can go to mass and be back in time for my evening meeting”…
Wait – what? Did he really just check his schedule to make TWO meetings on Christmas Eve? I guess “those people” aren’t so bad after all…..
On a side note my father-in-law called me today **sigh**. He is/was a HUGE enabler for my AH. I know my AH had not reached out to him because he was still calling for him on his old work phone. So I broke the news to him about what happened. I listened to what he said, but since he too is an alcoholic I listen with one ear closed. I heard, again, how much they support me (but turn around and give their alcoholic son the alcohol), and how much he, my father-in-law, hadn’t had a drink in three months and didn’t want it again… (Although last Christmas he had not had a drink in 6 months and didn’t want it again), and he can’t believe he lost his job the way he did (really, why not….). I mean seriously, I always knew his family talked from both sides of the mouth but this is just ridiculous. My AH just recently shared with me (and his new found AA group) that his parents were the worst enablers. When AH needed money or alcohol they gave him what he wanted. Never asked for anything in return. But they watched our family spiral out of control and watched their son go in and out of rehab and “stood by me” and told me I “was making the right decision”, etc……all I can do is shake my head.
So because of my new job and the fact that we have bigger issues at the moment, we are obviously not going back home for Christmas but my father-in-law asked anyway. I had to explain to him, again, why we were not coming. He is sad because my AH has a sister that lives here (we do not speak to her) and she is not coming home either. I sat thru the story as to why she is not coming…..although I really couldn’t be bothered to know. But it crossed my mind that my father-in-law could come here; however I would NEVER suggest that especially right now! When we hung up he asked if I could have my AH call him. All I said was I would give him the message.
I did tell my AH he called, but my AH does not want to talk to him at the moment. In fact he told me that even if he was home and we could go on vacation back to our hometown he didn’t want to go because it would be too soon for him to be back in that environment. He said his dad always had a bottle waiting for him and when my AH stopped drinking whiskey and switched to “just beer” his dad would make sure he had at least two or three cases waiting for him when we got into town. Yet for summer vacation my dad made arrangements to have a dry vacation, and we did and guess what, we still had a good time.
Anyway, I won’t let any of this ruin my day or my holiday. I have two girls to take care of and the last thing they need is a worried mom who is full of fear and panic.
Thanks for listening!
KTT
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