Hercules

So Iam finally 30 days sober which is the longest I have been sober for atleast the last 4 years, which is a miracle in itself.
And I should be so proud of myself and tbh I have been making great progress loosing weight and going to meetings and working a pretty solid programme.

But tonight it's just hit me like a hammer I feel sad and ungrateful almost like the novelty has worn off and Iam now left with this sober life. For some reason I think should recieve a medal and a congratulation phone call from people lol but the reality is why should I recieve praise for stopping something I should never have been doing in the first place!! I know I have to build a new life that will excite me and fulfill me sober but it's dark and cold and everybody Is on full silly season mode.

I have been speaking to friends who have been out and doing crazy things for Christmas parties and although I know it will only bring me pain and misery I also miss the madness. but I do know deep down my drinking days are over for good.

I know there is no answer and the longer I stay sober the easier things will get but I just wanted to vent.

Hope you are all well...

Herc

january161992

there is an answer ...

... the 12 steps

congrats on 30 days

heres a chip for ya

sdnavyblue72

Hi there, Your post resonated with me. I felt the same way as you at times. Playing guitar and drinking beer or wine went hand in hand in our family sing alongs and playing music with friends. I read this book by this English dude named Jason Vale. It's called, "Kick the Drink......Easily" It changed my entire attitude. It is an easy read and you will finish it quickly. It really was all I needed to read to get it. Sounds simple, but he puts things into perspective. Good Luck.

Hercules

Thank you very much...
I could not attend my Monday meeting to get my chip so this is the next best thing!!

Soberwolf

Well done Hercules such a great post & thread that a lot will relate too

Stay in touch through Christmas it will help a lot

Plure

Hey Herc, I totally get the boredom aspect of recovery. After a while you're to a new normal state that can feel, well...lacking.

For me getting used to that feeling is part of the process; usually I'm not really bored, just my mind has some quiet idle time that it's not used to. We partiers were always filling such idle time with events or drinking, eh?

Exercise has helped me push through these down times much better, as has spending time with, and meeting new, friends who don't drink.

Dee74

Ho Herc - I drank a long time and it eook a while before I started to feel ood again/ Took a while to regain trust and respect from family too.

Don't get discouraged tho - 30 days is a big deal and the farther you get away from the last drink, and move into recovery, the better you will feel

D

Bubovski

I think you answered your own question in part.
The old time wasted in bars or elsewhere need to be replaced with creative pursuits.
We all get bad feelings (some seemingly more than others) and it's surely part of the growing process. Good times too, can lead to the desire to feel even 'better' drinking with friends-----but its all a charade.
Hang on in there!

tomsteve

lots of good insight there, Herc!

early in recovery I had thoughts of 'the good old days." I thought I was gonna be missin out. a new friend of mine- a sober one- said,"yeah, there were good times drinking, but if your drinkin was like mine, for every good time there were at least 100 bad times".having someone point that out to me really changed my perception and made me think that maybe, just maybe I could have fun and enjoy life sober.

so, no crap, I was a few years sober and called another friend on my DOS- lookin to get kudos and a pat on the back. he said," if youre lookin for praise for living the way you should have been all along, ya called the wrong number."
ouch!! but so true!!!
im glad ya see that before I did!
herc, youre working on that new life NOW. you may feel its dark and cold( which isn't unusual), but everything WILL get better as you work for it. its going to take T.I.M.E.
how many years did ya drink? ya say this is the longest you've been sober in 4 years, so im thinkin prolly a few more years than 4.
give it T.I.M.E.

this,too, shall pass.

SnazzyDresser

Staying sober will prove to be the most fruitful of labors, Hercules!

Mattq2

Nice job on thirty days Hercules,
It helped me and still does to reflect on the positive changes in my life. I know what you mean at times things are boring but there is so much good happening. A little boredom is ok by me!

stargazer016

Congrats on 30 days sober Hercules! It will get a little easier each day and week and month. The first one is always the most challenging! You can do this!

teaorcoffee

Hercules, you're over the worst bit, withdrawal and cravings wise - you just have to get through this crazy time now.
It's not just you, but all of us who are hitting the first xmas sober.
I've always know that run-up to Xmas was mad, but looking at it as a bit of an outsider, it is indeed insane. I think it's normal to feel a bit jealous when everyone is partying, but that isn't the path that I want to follow anymore, so am keeping myself busy in other ways.

Hercules

Thank you all so much... it's nice to have people who understand where Iam coming from.

I drank for 15 years pretty much alcoholically with some pretty serious consequences along the way but I won't dwell on them, so I don't expect 32 days sober to solve everything Iam prepared for a battle and accept it will take as long as it takes to get over this.

I realise that when Iam hungry and tired my recovery seems very Grey and negative but today after a good 7 hours sleep and a high protein breakfast I feel positive and 100% know this is the best way I can honour my life and will be one of the best things I can do.

I will keep myself safe over xmas and not expect to much of myself this year on the social side.

Onwards

Scruffanie

Thank you Herc for your honest post and a huge congrats on 30 days sober.

waywardson8260

Congratulations on 30 days Hercules. Stick with it and it does get better. The first holiday season sober is tough with all of the triggers around, but coming here and venting like you did is a great way to get over them. We are all here to support you!

RedAndy

Hi Herc,

first of all congrats on 30 days !!

This time last year i could have typed that very post - I would also have been around 30 days in.

That comment of knowing deep down that your drinking days are over will also serve you well - we need that deep down belief and determination for the times when it does become tough or when it starts to seem like maybe we are over the worst.

Believe me it does get better - much better.

August252015

Great job on 30 days!

Have you checked out the book "Living Sober"? It has a 70s like cover in yellow and brown and since it is AA approved lit you can probably get it at your meeting if there's a literature cabinet; they also have it in stores or you can order. It is a good book about the first year, in particular.

Ups & downs - for me, sometimes sudden onset, especially at first- are normal. You know the sayings: time takes time, staying sober is the only way to keep getting better, all that.

Keep going!!