Struggling with temptation
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 1
Struggling with temptation
I came out of detox 14 days ago and have been struggling with the urge to use.
In rehab I was so confident about staying sober and recovery but coming home and facing my family and fiance... the first day back wasjust horrible and I relapsed by the 2nd day. I spent a week on vacation with my fiance and his parents and our kids. It was so lovely and I tried my best to prove to my fiance that I really do want to make changes and that I am serious about my recovery.
I incorporated so much of what i learned in rehab during our stay and being together as a family felt so positive and so special.
Once we got home though his rules and regulations kicked in and he started by telling me that I could not go anywhere on my own.
His lack of trust his understandable but I know him and this is just the start of his controlling ways. I don't know I'd I can live accordingto his rules again especially since my addiction began because of issues concerning our relationship.
I don't know if I can do this anymore it feels like it was so much easier to be high around him. I feel so close to relapsing again.
In rehab I was so confident about staying sober and recovery but coming home and facing my family and fiance... the first day back wasjust horrible and I relapsed by the 2nd day. I spent a week on vacation with my fiance and his parents and our kids. It was so lovely and I tried my best to prove to my fiance that I really do want to make changes and that I am serious about my recovery.
I incorporated so much of what i learned in rehab during our stay and being together as a family felt so positive and so special.
Once we got home though his rules and regulations kicked in and he started by telling me that I could not go anywhere on my own.
His lack of trust his understandable but I know him and this is just the start of his controlling ways. I don't know I'd I can live accordingto his rules again especially since my addiction began because of issues concerning our relationship.
I don't know if I can do this anymore it feels like it was so much easier to be high around him. I feel so close to relapsing again.
Sobriety is Traditional
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,064
Here's Dee's thread about recovery plans:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html
I like the programs of AA and NA, because the Twelve Steps are all laid out and simple. Also, there are meetings almost everywhere!
Here's a couple good threads to join:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...t-189-a-6.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rt-thread.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html
I like the programs of AA and NA, because the Twelve Steps are all laid out and simple. Also, there are meetings almost everywhere!
Here's a couple good threads to join:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...t-189-a-6.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rt-thread.html
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
Hi and Welcome!
I think it is understandable for lack of trust to follow us in the early days of recovery. But, there is a point in which trust must be re-established in the relationship or things won't work. Have you talked to your fiancé about how you are feeling?
I think it is understandable for lack of trust to follow us in the early days of recovery. But, there is a point in which trust must be re-established in the relationship or things won't work. Have you talked to your fiancé about how you are feeling?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 197
Your fiancé might want to read Codependent No More if he is trying to control you, and if you are the people pleasing kind of alcoholic, you might want to read it too.
I'm surprised your rehab didn't deeply delve into these kind of issues - often the underlining triggers of drinking / and you hint at that "it is easier to be high to be around him (his control)"
I'm surprised your rehab didn't deeply delve into these kind of issues - often the underlining triggers of drinking / and you hint at that "it is easier to be high to be around him (his control)"
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,384
Hi and welcome Nunu 
Like others have said res-establishing trust and forgiveness can take a while.
It's rough I know but if we allow that as a reason to drink again it just makes the timetable for that forgiveness and trust that much longer.
Support made it easier for me to stay sober no matter what and I know you'll find a lot of that here
D
Like others have said res-establishing trust and forgiveness can take a while.
It's rough I know but if we allow that as a reason to drink again it just makes the timetable for that forgiveness and trust that much longer.
Support made it easier for me to stay sober no matter what and I know you'll find a lot of that here
D
Friendly Folk
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Powers Lake, Wisconsin
Posts: 21,705
Take care of yourself first. You are what matters and you are stronger than you know. You do not have to prove anything to anyone but yourself. Do you ever do affirmations? Practice 'positive self-talk' and start believing in yourself. Be strong minded.
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