Jeni26

Hi my friends,

I've kinda been dreading today for a while. It's pre-Christmas drinks with my husband's family. In previous years (when I was drinking), we'd go round to theirs and we've all drunk to blackout and stayed over. Since I've been sober, it's been harder, and I've ended up doing the driving, but my husband and his brother just drink for hours and hours until the whole evening descends into chaos.

After the last time, I said I would never do it again. Yet, somehow I've been manipulated into changing things this time and they are coming to ours today.

Hubby has said we will do it at lunchtime, so they will hopefully be gone by evening, and he's promised not to get drunk.

I'm not very well at the moment, on antibiotics for a chest infection, so I'm feeling a bit weepy.

I am not worried that I will be tempted, but being around drunk people who are irrational makes me very upset. I hate it, and I will have nowhere to go if it gets too much.

I wish today was already over and it's only 7.30 am

PhoenixJ

Jeni- keep strong in your resolve. Lots of support at SR. Keep posting. Thoughts and prayers to you and your family. PJ

MidnightBlue

Hi, my friend.

Sorry that this Sunday is turning through an unnecessary trial for you.

But you have all my support, best vibes and anything else in my power to make you feel that you are not alone in this.

It's not fun to be around drunk people.

Take one minute at a time. Don't let involve you into any kind of drama.

I will be online most of the day - drop a line here or on FB if you need an extra motivation, encouragement and help.

Rooting for you.

Hugs.

RedAndy

That sounds pretty tough to be honest - like you say you know you won't drink, I've been there knowing that is not going to happen but being around everyone doesn't sound like a comfortable place to be, I had similar last NYE and to be honest have made sure I swerved anything similar since, I stuck close to this place that night and eventually made an excuse that I wasn't feeling well at all and headed off upto bed, at least being in your own house I guess you have that option - you've alreaady said you're not feeling well and have a chest infection - I'd be sowing the seeds early doors with your hubby that you really don't feel upto it and could really do with a lie down - by late afternoon early evening if things are getting too much then there's your excuse that you really are going to have to get in bed for a bit and sorry but as nice as it is to see you all I really don't feel well at all.

Just a thought of a way to make an exit if you really feel the need and don't have the option of telling your husband how you really feel about things.

ReadyAtLast

Hi jeni. You can do this and you will get through the day. Stay strong and stay with us.

Can you maybe go to bed early evening as you are ill if things do get unbearable. Or a walk this asfternoon. It's your house you don't need their permission.hope all goes well though and hopefully they'll be gone by late afternoon.

Thinking of you.x

RedAndy

Great minds Ready at Last

I'd add to that by late afternoon they'll all be more concerned about more drinks than where you are to be honest - we all know that's what was priority for us in those situations.

Jeni26

It's more difficult as it isn't my family. If it was mine I'd already 'made up' a previous arrangement I had for the evening. Actually there's a local AA meeting at 6, and I would have gone to that.

But I feel more awkward and there is such a history of drinking that I fear the worst.

I did contemplate coming clean with them about my alcoholism. But there are people who are closer to me that I feel should know first...plus hubby wasn't keen on them knowing.

I guess I will just have to grin and bear it.

Dee74

I hope it's all done and dusted by the time you get home

If not, I think the idea to go to bed early is a good one...or just tell them you have a previous appointment and go to the AA meeting - your husband would keep your confidence wouldn't he? - and then go to bed early.

D

RedAndy

You don't have to tell them - if your husband is supportive and understands then speak to him and tell him how you are feeling and ask that he understands if you feel that it's becoming uncomfortable, if that's not an option then definitely start hinting how unwell you are feeling - need to make it look like it's getting worse as the day wears on.

MidnightBlue

I second going to bed early.

Also you are still recovering from chest infection and need rest and sleep. I think family or not they should understand this.

Soberwolf

Lots of great advice here Jeni another vote for going to the meeting & going bed early x

Jeni26

Thanks my friends ❤️

countryboyUK

Jeni26 - just said a prayer for you.

Stay strong and feel the love.

48heath

You can do this Jeni.You can get through anything for 24 hours.

Not great for you when you are ill.

Message me on FB any time.

Berrybean

You know, if the agreement or expectations is that they'll be gone by early evening you haven't got to say where you're going. Just that you'd agreed to help a friend out and it's been lovely to see them but you need to go. Hug hug, kiss kiss, off you pop.

Either that or, if you feel poorly and weepy then excuse yourself and get to bed. That is okay.

Leshar

Hello Jeni,
I'm sorry you have to deal with this, especially when you're not feeling well.
I agree, being around drunk people is so unpleasant. I think your idea of going out, or better yet, heading to bed as you've been unwell is a good one. Sometimes just being physically unwell can make one weepy and emotional.
Thinking of you. Be good to yourself.

Weasel1966

Love you Miss Jeni! Its about 5 PM there now. Hope it is wrapping up. Good to see you reaching out when you need it.

Miss you!

MidnightBlue

For you, my dear friend

Jeni26

All ok. The men drank, but my sister in law was sober with me, and we had a nice time together.

All over for another year.

Thanks for the love ❤️

Ariesagain

Standing ovation and how lovely you had an ally!

Bravo!