kinzoku

I had a nice day with the gf. Walked around, had some good food, saw a movie. Did a small workout.

Now I'm home.

I'm mulling over the words of some people on my previous post.

I read up on some plans but none of them differ dramatically from the way I previously tackled sobriety.

I am trying to be humble and to see the value in posts that tell me I need a new plan but I find it hard to say that what I did for a year and a half didn't work. It did, to great affect.

There just came a time where my AV won out.

I was weak. I had all my tools in place, I just didn't use them.

Maybe I need some tools, maybe that is true.

But for now I will celebrate the second day, and try to continue to post.

Best wishes.

-Kin

PhoenixJ

Kinz- thankyou. Just remember Yoda- don't try- do.

Soberwolf

You got this Kin with you all the way

Dee74

Why I always recommend people try something different when they come back is that the old way didn't work.

You can split hairs and say the way worked but you just stopped using it...but now the task is to find a way to keep using the tools and find that constant motivation, surely?

A plan needs to be theory and practice.

The best airplane blueprint in the world is useless if the plane doesn't fly.

We have to always be tinkering to get the best result we can

I'm not trying to talk down to you- I faced this exact problem myself.

Doing exactly the same thing the same way will lead again to the same results down the track - I think that's the point people are trying to get across?

So how do you think you'll keep your recovery 'green, fresh and new' this time?

D

kinzoku

To be Frank dee I think one thing was missing.

I need friends.

kinzoku

I am looking into meetup groups, and groups I can join for my hobbies. Being alone, and with a girl or girls, was all I knew in the last year and a half and I felt a deep sense of loneliness at times.

I think the lack of community and involvement in something was what hindered me most.

Or well, thats my best guess and what could really improve my life right now.

FreedomCA

Wishing you all the best and that you find a path that leads to continued sobriety. Good luck!

Dee74

Friends, real friends, are worth their weight in gold Kin

D

Meraviglioso

Hi kinzoku, good job on day 2, you have ben here before and know what an accomplishment that is. Tweak your plan, use your tools and keep moving forward.
Some people think this poem is a bit insipid, but I have found hope in it at times. I hope you will read it and get something from it. I imagine you have seen it before but it is worth giving it another read and really thinking about.


Max Ehrmann


Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.