Mattq2

i was discussing alcoholism with a family member. They mentioned another family member (let's call him Sam)and referred to Sam as an alcoholic but I know that Sam has been sober for 22 years. This offended me in some way. I know I'm an alcoholic and I've learned the hard way that I can never drink again but geez after decades of sobriety haven't you beat it? Aren't you just a person that chooses not to drink ever again? pissed me off that he was called that after such a incredible accomplishment. Maybe I just want to here myself type tonight.

MeSoSober

If other people call someone an alcoholic, to me that strongly implies that the person is still actively drinking. I think it's grossly unfair and frankly, ignorant. Different story if a fellow alcoholic refers to another alcoholic in the sense that the person always has the condition of alcoholism.

ScottFromWI

I firmly believe that I will always be an alcoholic for the rest of my life. Accepting that was the only way I was able to commit my life to sobriety.

STDragon

I quit cigarettes 16 years ago so I'm a former smoker. I stopped smoking pot 20 years ago so I'm a former user. I recently quit drinking 'cause yea, I have a problem with alcohol. I'm fine with the label alcoholic for now, but at some point, I'll also be a former drinker. After 22 years, yea it's time to drop the label.

Babescake

I frankly hate the term alcoholic. Medical is catching up too with this. The definition can be widespread and sometimes sensitive matters are needed. I believe self identifying is key. Do I know I have a problem and have uttered the words in the past? Yes. I just do not believe in a one fits all solution. Yet, what do I know?

thomas11

I'd have to know the backstory. Maybe "Sam" proclaimed he was an alcoholic 22 years ago and began recovery. So it just kind of stuck. Maybe Sam had been in detox or rehab a few times so it was common knowledge.

I'm not real fond of the word alcoholic, so I quit, didn't tell anyone, and when it comes up I simply say I'm on a health kick or don't feel like drinking tonight. Its really that simple. If I was 25 I might have to get more creative in my responses. But I still wouldn't drink.

Mattq2

I like that ST. The guy is a role model to me. He is big time in AA and has made helping others his life work.(always sponsoring someone) yep a few decades from now I will be a former drinker😀I like that

Mattq2

Thomas it is common knowledge. He screwed up everything back then. We all know how active he is in AA(helping others)I just feel like he's earned not to be labeled that way.

dwtbd

To me an alcoholic is someone who is addicted to alcohol, and only an individual can know if they are addicted.
I don't drink, , I' m forever former

SnazzyDresser

This is part of why I just avoid the term alcoholic completely. I'm not wild about the term recovery either. The thing I care about and try to keep laser-like focus on is the everyday reality of keeping alcohol out of my life. That's what matters to me.

Dee74

I guess my attitude to the term has changed.

I used to be one kind of alcoholic - unwashed, muttering to myself, stumbling about, back to the same shop 2 or 3 times a day...

mothers would usher their kids out the way.

Now I'm another kind of alcoholic - the non practising kind,

This kind of alcoholic has beat fearful odds and weathered all manner of situations for years. This kind of alcoholic has crawled his way out of Hell back into the sunlight.

Its a tale that illustrates everything good in humanity

Other may not understand - but I think it's ok to be a little proud of that

D

Mattq2

Well said Dee. I have great admiration for those who beat alcoholism and enjoy long term sobriety. I know how hard it is.

Forward12

I don't think anyone wants to label themselves as an alcoholic, and it's a hard thing to admit, as to why it's the first step in AA.
The monster can be locked away with sobriety, but can be released at any time from just taking another sip of alcohol, it never goes away. Though I think someone with 22 years of sobriety would be someone worth talking to.

Soberwolf

I suppose you hear the word alcoholic & think the worst

For me to call oneself an alcoholic means I've accepted that I am and that if I drink I could very easily kill myself I don't let the AV in saying I could handle a few I can't handle one so in that sense like Scott said for me this is for life I am cool with that

Also what D said about perception of the word alcoholic was spot on

I'm an alcoholic & have been for 3 years 5 months and 1 day before that I never had a drink problem or at least I didn't think I did

It won't change in 20 or 40 years for me anyway

Fusion

I was an 'alcoholic' for over two decades, in that I was psychologically and then also physically addicted to alcohol.

Now that I don't drink alcohol, Im not an alcoholic and would prefer the labels (if one where needed) ex-drinker, former-drinker, non-drinker (my preference).

BUT, if I drank an alcoholic drink, I have no doubt whatsoever that I'd become an 'alcoholic' again. It's like learning to ride a bike or drive a car, even with misuse the old habitual pattern of behaviour would be awoken and most probably ramp up to previous alcohol intake levels.

FreeOwl

As you deepen your sobriety, this sort of thing won't bother you.

I understand. It feels somehow offensive. It feels like a personal judgement. It feels like a curse you're stuck with forever.

But after a time, and as we come to accept that our choice of sobriety is our own for our own reasons, it matters less. It's just a word. It's just a label. Some people use it (even after decades of sobriety). Some people don't. What matters truly is our own reasons for choosing sobriety and our own lives.

Ariesagain

To me, it's less about the label and more that normies throw that phrase around somewhat perjoratively with zero clue as to what an accomplishment it is to be a recovered alcoholic. We really need a different term for that.

EndGameNYC

There's a difference between using labels as an insult or an attack and using them -- as the entire English language provides for-- as a form of shorthand meant to communicate or inform. Or as a compliment. It's up to me to decide whether or not the meaning is"He's just another alcoholic" or "He's an alcoholic who decided to take responsibility for his own life." And everything in-between. I don't see how someone who no longer considers me to be an alcoholic after a given amount of sobriety is some kind of "break" for me. That's their issue.

I hadn't had a drink for twenty five years, and then relapsed for three. I'm now sober again for more than five years. Doesn't matter to me what anyone calls it. What matters is that's what I did and what I'm doing.

August252015

What Dee said. And, I believe I only beat alcoholism every single day, so long as I remain in fit spiritual condition. For me, it's not about the drinking (anymore or right now, so to speak), it's about emotional sobriety. Still an alcoholic, with the substance problem removed. My mind will always be alcoholic - though the plan is to keep making it better, wiser, healthier and such - just like I'd hope to do if I wasn't an alcoholic at all.

I also refer to p 417-418 of the BB (4th ed): "For years, I was sure that the worst thing that could ever happen to a nice guy like me would be that I would turn out to be an alcoholic. Today I find it's the best thing that has ever happened to me. This proves that I don't know what's good for me...."

I heard the phrase "peculiar gift" as a way to describe alcoholism and that's exactly how I'd describe it. Then, I lived in the problem; now, I live in the solution.

tomsteve

im an alcoholic that hasn't had a drink in 11+ years- a recovered alcoholic