To any parents of young children struggling to quit
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Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 174
To any parents of young children struggling to quit
I have three small children, 1, 3, and 4. I always believed that my addiction wasn't affecting them. I said, they're too young, they have no idea, I'm still taking care of them just fine, it isn't affecting them at all, they're happy kids.
What I've learned since I found the strength 25 days ago to stop is, they did know, they were being heavily affected by it, I wasn't taking care of them the way I should be, I may have been being there physically for them...but I wasn't being there emotionally.
The great thing is, I've noticed so many positive changes is them already. Their attitude is better, their behavior is better, they are happy I'm a way I've never seen. I'm now able to make them my priority and have been bonding in them in a whole new way that I never thought possible.
So if you've been telling yourself the same lies that I was, I hope this might give you some kind of encouragement to stop listening to the lies, to ask for help to stop giving into your addiction and to focus on becoming the parent your children deserve.
What I've learned since I found the strength 25 days ago to stop is, they did know, they were being heavily affected by it, I wasn't taking care of them the way I should be, I may have been being there physically for them...but I wasn't being there emotionally.
The great thing is, I've noticed so many positive changes is them already. Their attitude is better, their behavior is better, they are happy I'm a way I've never seen. I'm now able to make them my priority and have been bonding in them in a whole new way that I never thought possible.
So if you've been telling yourself the same lies that I was, I hope this might give you some kind of encouragement to stop listening to the lies, to ask for help to stop giving into your addiction and to focus on becoming the parent your children deserve.
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Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,981
This is great to hear. I always get disappointed when I hear about parents that continue their alcoholic ways in front of their children, often making up excuses that they are too young, they don't know what's going on, it doesn't bother them etc, but they DO see what it is, and it affects them.
Keep up the good work!
Keep up the good work!
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Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 1,021
Children know, even very young children. My father had a serious binge drinking problem and I knew from a very young age that he wasn't like other fathers. His drinking damaged me deeply.
If you're a parent, please do whatever you must do to stop drinking. Your children will be proud.
If you're a parent, please do whatever you must do to stop drinking. Your children will be proud.
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Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 1,025
I couldn't agree more. I am a proud dad of two little boys, 2 and 4.
I am 4 months sober now and it is amazing how much closer I am to them. It feels great to be able to get up at 5 am in the mood to play with them.
Alcohol blinds you and makes things that are wrong look right or acceptable, quitting is the best decision I have ever made.
Mr P
I am 4 months sober now and it is amazing how much closer I am to them. It feels great to be able to get up at 5 am in the mood to play with them.
Alcohol blinds you and makes things that are wrong look right or acceptable, quitting is the best decision I have ever made.
Mr P
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Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 174
Thank you all for reading. I cried when I wrote it and almost didn't want to post it, but I'm so glad I did. Things are still getting better every day. I'm so thankful that God gave me the courage to quit!
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Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Essex County New Jersey
Posts: 140
Awesome post BHL, very inspiring. I have two little ones myself, 4 and 6, and it saddens me that I have so often been in a fog throughout their earliest years. I have to get sober for so many reasons, one of the most significant is that I know it will make me a much better parent. They deserve so much more than I have given them in the past. Although I always loved them, as you wrote, I was really not fully there for them emotionally and in so many other ways. Looking forward to the sober future.
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
in hindsight.... I look back on how many times I engaged in behavior that put my children at risk, myself at risk, their livelihood and future at risk, and I am so deeply grateful to be sober.
nowadays, they come back from their mom's talking about how she drinks wine every night and goes through five bottles a week and their observations of how it effects her and I see that - at 7 and 10 - they notice.
They were thankfully still very young while I was still drinking. There are only a few cringe-worthy things they occasionally comment about that make it clear they have memories of a few odd behaviors from their Daddy.
To be free of the spectre of them having to see, worry about, fret over, or be negatively impacted by their own father because of his drinking is one of the greatest gifts of my life. To be present, capable, trustworthy, safe, reliable, honorable, competent, strong and SOBER for my children and my family - perhaps the greatest gift I could ever have given them.
Yes to this thread..... emphatically YES.
nowadays, they come back from their mom's talking about how she drinks wine every night and goes through five bottles a week and their observations of how it effects her and I see that - at 7 and 10 - they notice.
They were thankfully still very young while I was still drinking. There are only a few cringe-worthy things they occasionally comment about that make it clear they have memories of a few odd behaviors from their Daddy.
To be free of the spectre of them having to see, worry about, fret over, or be negatively impacted by their own father because of his drinking is one of the greatest gifts of my life. To be present, capable, trustworthy, safe, reliable, honorable, competent, strong and SOBER for my children and my family - perhaps the greatest gift I could ever have given them.
Yes to this thread..... emphatically YES.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 174
Originally Posted by FreeOwl 
in hindsight.... I look back on how many times I engaged in behavior that put my children at risk, myself at risk, their livelihood and future at risk, and I am so deeply grateful to be sober.
nowadays, they come back from their mom's talking about how she drinks wine every night and goes through five bottles a week and their observations of how it effects her and I see that - at 7 and 10 - they notice.
They were thankfully still very young while I was still drinking. There are only a few cringe-worthy things they occasionally comment about that make it clear they have memories of a few odd behaviors from their Daddy.
To be free of the spectre of them having to see, worry about, fret over, or be negatively impacted by their own father because of his drinking is one of the greatest gifts of my life. To be present, capable, trustworthy, safe, reliable, honorable, competent, strong and SOBER for my children and my family - perhaps the greatest gift I could ever have given them.
Yes to this thread..... emphatically YES.
nowadays, they come back from their mom's talking about how she drinks wine every night and goes through five bottles a week and their observations of how it effects her and I see that - at 7 and 10 - they notice.
They were thankfully still very young while I was still drinking. There are only a few cringe-worthy things they occasionally comment about that make it clear they have memories of a few odd behaviors from their Daddy.
To be free of the spectre of them having to see, worry about, fret over, or be negatively impacted by their own father because of his drinking is one of the greatest gifts of my life. To be present, capable, trustworthy, safe, reliable, honorable, competent, strong and SOBER for my children and my family - perhaps the greatest gift I could ever have given them.
Yes to this thread..... emphatically YES.
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